This past week was a HORRIBLE one for me!!  More crap in my personal life....I swear...it's really sad when you find out someone has been lieing to you, and it's someone you trusted.  I hate liars.  I don't get liars.  

With my emotional state this last week my band was acting like a psycho.  Journey (my band)  was trying to strangle me on Wednesday night.  UGH. I am very glad that I have my UGI scheduled for January 6th....I need to know that Journey is okay, even if he is being a butthead to me right now!!  ha ha

Christmas was pleasant.  I couldn't afford to get too much for my son, let alone other family and friends.  However it was still good and I had a very nice time over at Brenda's house for Christmas dinner.  I brought over turkey, rolls and pecan pie.  They had cooked a goose.  That was okay....but I am not crazy about dark meat, so I prefer my turkey.  

I am on my way to Sedona starting Monday!  I can't wait!!  A week to just have fun and goof off  YAY!!!!  When I get back it will time to start eating right again....no chips and cookies allowed in my house except when Auntie Flo shows up.  She showed up this morning.  That could explain some of the strangling that Journey was doing earlier in the week....PMS tightening AND emotional tightening.....a nightmare!!

I am still struggling and still fighting with my band, but the good thing is my weight was back down to 162 this morning.  Still up 10 pounds from my lowest, but I know I will get back down to that number and beyond.  I have faith in myself.  

I did go see my PCP, whom I love, and he gave me a referral for my UGI.  I go in on January 6th to get this done.  I am praying that my pouch and my band are just fine.  I was having a lot of trouble yesterday and the day before, and PB'd quite a bit.  I am trying to stay mostly on soups today and other liquids.  

I can't believe that Christmas will be here in less than a week.....there wasn't much money this year, but that's okay.  My son isn't execting too much and understands,   My adopted son is getting  a pretty nice gift also, so all in all it should be a good holiday.  I will be traveling to see two of my brothers the Monday after Christmas, soooooooo looking forward to that!!!  I hope all of my friends on OH have a wonderful, and safe holiday!!!  you all!

I started out the week well.  I went on my walk at lunch, I drank my water and ate correctly.  Come Tuesday, I got stressed over someting and turned to food.....and not the right kind of food, food I KNOW I can't get through my band.  Sick, I tell ya!!  Soooo the week unravelled pretty quickly.  I have been pretty busy, and haven't had time for me.  That's usually the way it is around the holidays.  

I have called Dr. Acosta's office to see about getting a UGI, just to make sure that my band is sitting correctly and that my pouch has not stretched out more than it should be.  I talked to his nurse, and it was decided that it will be easier for my PCP to order the UGI and just have the results sent to Dr. Acosta.  So, I will be calling Dr. Liljestrand on Monday to get that set up.  I truly hope that nothing is wrong with my band, and that it's just user error.  I have been PBing a lot lately and waking up at night throwing up.  

I weighed in a pound heavier this week at 165, but as long as my band is good, I know I will be okay.  Things are pretty weird in my life right now...so, I am cutting myself a break.  As long as I don't gain too much more weight, I know that once my life settles back down, I wlll get back to a routine that encourages weight loss once again.  

Still weighing in at 164.  I have had a rough week with my band.  I am serisously thinking I need to find a good eating disorder therapist.  When I have some trouble and PB, then I KNOW that I need to stay on liquids for 12-24 hours.  However, my eating compulsion has taken over and I feel I can't control myself.  I end up eating....causing further swelling and problems.  How I am not losing weight is beyond me...LOL  

I am stressing over the usual.....money, Christmas, and things that need to be taken care of that I have let pile up.  I am ready to start a brand new chapter in my life, but until my soon to be ex moves out, it's hard to move on and actually MOVE ON.  

A good friend reminded me last night that I need to breathe and tackle one problem at a time.  So far today, I have cleaned out a hall closet and also threw a bunch of old crap away.  Feels good to let go of the past and get rid of clutter.  I want a new, fresh beginning.   I know that my future is bright!!  ha ha ha