Two Weeks And Counting!!

Jan 30, 2010

I will be having my surgery in about two weeks.  I haven't heard from Dr. Acosta's office this week.  Hopefully they will get the pre-approval from Presbyterian and I will get a new band or repositioned band.  

I have been eating pretty badly this week.  Part of it is the "last supper syndome'. and part of it is getting to eat foods that I haven't been able to tolerate in a long time.  I am back up to 169 lbs though, so I really need to be careful!!  I wonder how much I could lose on my own if I stick to healthy foods in the next two weeks?  Might be a good challenge for myself.  It's not like my band isn't helping me at all right now, because I still have SOME restriction and I am still not really experiencing hunger, other than head hunger.  I think I will give myself that challenge.  I would like to go to back in for pre-op weighing in less than what I weighed in at my unfill.  ha ha

There is still a lot of stress in my personal life.  So much drama....I don't like drama.  I don't like confrontation, and I don't like deceitfulness.  Why can't people just be honest with one another and take the consequences.....just lay it all out there and quit acting stupid??  In a perfect world.....
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A Valentine For Me!!

Jan 23, 2010

I met with Dr. Acosta last night.  He is as gorgeous as ever, by the way.  LMAO!  Okay.....I brought in my picture of me that was taken the night before my surgery. Since he didn't do my original surgery, he has no idea how fat and miserable I looked.  I wanted to show him that and make sure he understands that I never want to be "her" again.  Ever.

I was in the exam room, waiting, and I pulled out the picture.  I just started crying....I never want to go back, I only want to go forwards but I need help.  Will I get the help?  Will I have a tool to help me fight obesitiy and food addictions?  Will I have to do it alone?  I was scared, sad and anxious.  My tears had stopped flowing, but my cheeks were still wet, when Dr. Acosta walked in.

He shook my hand and asked me how I was.  I told him I was scared.  We talked about my band he drew me a picture of what a good band placement looks like, and what he saw on my UGI pics.  His picture of a healthy band was similar to the one I have on my OH page of mine....so it's so confusing to me.  I do know I have the symptoms, and I know that I trust Dr. Acosta, so I believe him over my untrained eyes!!  LOL 

He said that he would go in and reposition the band if he felt he could, if not, he would replace my band with a new one.  He would try to leave my port in place if it looks okay, if not, he will replace that also.  I asked him about RNY and he felt like it was not a good option for me.  He explained that the band causes scar tissue on the stomach, making it harder to shape the stomach for RNY.  He said that the percentage of leaks goes up in those revisions.  He would have to do surgery to take the band out.  Close me up and let me heal for three months, then we could do the RNY surgery, but that more than likely my insurance would not approve it since I have lost so much weight.  I kind of figured.

So, I said well, as long as I get to keep my band or get a new band I will be the happiest girl in the world.  He said that it would be a rare exception that he would not be able to do one or the other.  If he goes in and sees some erosion or infection, then he would have to take out my band and send me home.  Sooooooo I am hopeful!!  He took out only HALF of my fill, which was surprising to me.  Although, the part of me that is addicted to having restriction of some sort was very happy about that.  ha ha ha I am a sick woman, I know!

He also said to eat a normal diet from now until surgery.  My surgery is scheduled for February 16th, I have to report down to El Paso for pre-op stuff on the 15th, which is  Sunday, so that's good.  I am excited about having a good surgeon take care of me!!  This time I will not take my band for granted.  I will do what I can to make it work with a medium restriction.  I only have 30 pounds to lose now.....I will probably lose quite a bit of that just being on liquids after my surgery! ha ha I hope so anyway,  

So, all in all, it was good news.  I have a plan, which makes me feel a whole lot better!! 
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Anxiously Awaiting

Jan 22, 2010

I meet with Dr. Acosta at 6pm this evening.  I am nervous and excited.  I am hoping to hear optimistic and good news from him.  For instance, "Your slip isn't that bad, I am sure surgery will fix it up really well."  I am still going to inquire with him about RNY revision.  I know he prefers RNY over the band anyway....he would be in a better position to know if insurance companies are willing to approve that for people in my position.

If I hear one more peson say, "Well, can't you just eat carefully and exercise for the rest of your life to keep it off now?" I am going to scream!!    Tell an alocholic who has quit drinking that they are now required to drink one shot of whiskey a day, but hey.....don't drink more than that!!  Have some discipline man!  Not happening.  Of course I will TRY my best to maintain if I end up without a tool to help me, but my illness and addictions have a lot of power over me, I am ashamed to admit.

I will update tonight or tomorrow with what Dr. Acosta tells me, but I am going to be as optimistic as I can and say that my band will be fixed, or revised....but I WILL be just fine and continue along my journey to meet my goal!!

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*Sigh* It IS Bad News

Jan 16, 2010


I got a call from, Deborah, Dr. Acosta's nurse, yesterday.  She said that Acosta reviewed my UGI pics and said that I have a slip!!  UGH!!!!!!!   So, the plan is to see him this coming Friday when he is here in ABQ.  He is going to unfill my band and we will talk about surgery then.  I asked Deborah if an unfill might solve the slip, as I read that over and over, and she was confiden that it would not.  Hmmmmm Well, either it's a very bad slip, or he sees other potential problems?  I am not sure, but I will put my faith in Dr. Acosta.  

I am praying for a good outcome, which would be a fixed or new band, or a possible revision to RNY.  Worst case scenario would be waking up and being told he had to remove my band could not do anything else for me.  That would be a nightmare!!!  Please pray that, that won't be the case!!!  Please!!   I do not want to have to go through life without a tool to help me fight my food addictions. 

Having another surgery doesn't bother me....as long as I know that I will be able to wake up with a tool.  

This has been something I have feared for a long time, and it seems that quite a few veterans that post on the boards have had slips as well.  It' crazy.  I think they are way more common than I thought.  

I can't express enough how everyone's well wishes and kind words have been helping me!!  I am hoping for positive outcomes and a continued journey to weight loss!!!

I didn't weigh in this morning, but yesterday I was at 164
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Happy Bandiversary To Me!!

Jan 10, 2010

  Two years ago today I got my band!!  I have recently gained back some of the weight I lost, so I am not at goal yet.  I will get there though....I have no doubts   I love my band and hope that I can keep it forever!!  I have had trouble with it this past year, but I know some of it is user error.  ha ha  

Has being banded been as wonderful as I had hoped?  Yes, and no.  I think the biggest disappointment for me has been how I haven't miraculously changed and gotten rid of my food addictions.  The band is not going to do that, it's something I have to work on.  I plan on tackling that this year.  

I am very glad I had the opportunity to be banded and improve my life.
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Upper GI Done, Waiting For Acosta's Opinion

Jan 09, 2010

Okay, I had my UGI done this week.  I got a copy of the pictures for myself and studied them when I got to work.  From what I can see, my pouch looks to be very good....the band also looks to be placed well.  The only thing that I think could POSSIBLY be wrong is my esophagus, could possibly be stretched??   Although, I ended up looking for pictures of "normal" esophaguses to compare and mine looks to be okay.  

The doc doing the UGI was amazed at how long the barium stayed in the pouch.  It did stay for awhile, but hey, it was morning and I couldn't have any liquids before that to open my band up....so it was tight.  Amazingly enough, I have had very little problems with my band since then.  ha ha ha  I have PB'd a couple of times, but they were my fault.  For instance last night, I kept eating a bit after I got my full signal.  That's a no-no, and I know that!!  ha ha

This time I had to mail the disk with the UGI pics to Acosta myself, so I included a letter explaining what my symptoms are and asked him to let me know if he thinks I just need a slight unfill.  It might be the stress that is doing this to me.  I wouldn't hurt anything to be a little looser.  I would be able to eat healthier....but I also know it would be a HUGE struggle not to eat the wrong foods.  I will do whatever Dr. Acosta suggests....that is providing that he thinks my band, pouch and esophagus look just fine.  

I stayed the night with a friend and got home early this morning to and started taking down Christmas stuff....so I didn't weigh in.  Yesterday, I was at 165.  I keep fluctuating a few pounds up and down, but I want to get my ass back down to the 150's, my clothes fit better!!  Hopefully, my band is good and then I just need to get my head back in to the game! 
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New Year, New Me!!

Jan 03, 2010

I am back from my vacation in Sedona, and ready to take on the new year!  The morning I left for Sedona, I had gone up to 170 bs!!!  YIKES!!!!  Some of it was Aunt Flo, I am sure, but seeing that number back on the scale was scary!!  I weighed in this morning at 166, so I lost some weight on vacation.  I am not surprised.....my band was acting up most of the time there.

It was pretty embarassing, as I had to make sure I slept in the living room with no one else around since I was up every 10 minutes choking, or PBing.  UGH.    The last night there I was golden, I slept through the night with no problems.  Until then, my nights were pretty miserable.  My band was playing his role as "Sybil" the best he could.  Some days I was not able to choke anything down, and there were periods where I could eat any and everything and lots of it.  Just weird.  I am so glad I have my UGI scheduled this week.  I want confirmation that my band is in good shape and postitioned correctly.  I also want to know that my pouch is not stretched.  

I am ready to take one 2010, I think this year will be  productive one.  My divorce will happen, I will do my best to get my finances on track and I will also get to my goal weight, for sure.  I have no doubts about this!!  I look am looking forward and feeling positive!!
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About Me
Rio Rancho, NM
Location
31.0
BMI
VSG
Surgery
04/03/2012
Surgery Date
Jun 26, 2007
Member Since

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