Weekly Update

Sep 26, 2010

I didn't do too bad this week.  I ate well about 85% of the time and got my walk in almost every day!  Yay, me!!  I was down to 198 on Friday morning and when I weighed this morning (Sunday) after getting home I weighed the same.  I will take it.....I hate seeing 200 anything on the scale, hate it!!! 

I am more confident that I need that fill in a couple of weeks.  I have not had any trouble eating this week.....I still have some restriction, but I can tell that a small fill will do me some good!!  I just need to keep doing what I am doing.....work my body and eat right as much as possible.  I can do this!!!  
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Aaahhhhhh Vacation!!

Sep 19, 2010

I took a VERY MUCH needed two days off from work this past Thursday and Friday.  I spent most of it with my sweetie.  He got the call on Friday morning that one of the jobs he was really hoping to get was his!!!  Yay!!!   That was SUCH good news!!!  He was reallh stressing and getting very depressed.  We took the occassion to celebrate all weekend!  ha ha ha!!! 
We went to Santa Fe yesterday and he showed me where he will be working.  We also booked some time at a wonderful Japanese spa.    I had never done anything like that in my life, it was absolutelly wonderful!  We topped the day off with a few glasses at wine at an old, historic hotel in downtown Santa Fe.  In fact, that is where he took me for our 3rd date.  It was on that night that I knew my sweet date was the man for me!! 

With all of the relaxing and celebrating, I didn't think much about my band or eating healthy.  I got on the scale once I got home this morning and I was at 201.  *sigh*  Oh well, time to get back on the bandwagon and get some exercise in also.  My BF is wanting to get on board with me with the exercising and eating better.  WE will do this!    I will be reporting a lower weight next time, I promise!!  ha ha
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Are Blogs Helpful?

Sep 13, 2010

Someone posted on the lapband board about blogs and wanting to know if anyone had suggestions.  I noted that I update mine once a week at least.  She never acknowledged my post, but whatever.....it got me to thinking.   Does my blog help anyone?  Does anyone ever read it?   I don't know.  I DO know I am VERY happy that I have kept it throughout.  

This inspired me to go back and start reading every single post from two years ago until now.  It's pretty amazing how much I have been through in the last two years.  My husband lost his job, I had a horrible fight and became separated from a person that I considered a very good friend, my best friend died suddenly, a friend attempted suicide, my husband lost another job, my husband lied ot me about paying the mortgage, I separated from my husband, a guy I started dating lied to me about a lot of things, a good friend DID commit suicide, I found out my band had slipped, I had to have surgery to fix my band, I lost my house, and I have gained back a total of 40 pounds.  Wow.......pretty hard and rough 2 years, wouldn't you say?  

The theme that I detected was that I was continually struggling.  I do not lose weight very easily or very fast.  I tried to be good, and would get upset with no or slow weightloss, but I NEVER gave up.  I faithfully logged in my weight and kept my blog up to date.  The weight regain has been pretty devastating.  It really has.  What I am really trying to help myself to believe is that my food isses CAN be under MY CONTROL.  They can!!  Some of the horrible things that have happened to me over these past 2 years (hell, all of my life actually)  were NOT under my control.  I couldn't save Jamie's life.  I had no way of knowing or being able to help MIke before he committed suicide.....but I need to really get a grip on my eating, and carb addiction.  That IS under my control.

I never thought I would be able to stop smoking, but I did it.  I thought giving up Diet Cokes would be next to impossible, but I don't even miss them.  

It was so easy for me to see how much I have tried and SUCCEEDED with my band.....I will do it again.  I will.  

So, I am not sure if my weekly blog helps anyone else.....all I know is that it has sure helped me and I am so glad to have this as a reference.  
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Somebody Slap Me, Please!

Sep 11, 2010

  Okay, enough is enough!!  Cooler temps are in the air, and what do I have to wear??  NOTHING!!!  I was still able to squeeze in to SOME 12's when the weather was cold....and then when the weather was still chilly in early spring I had to resort to wearing some 14's too.  All summer I have broke my golden rule....I have worn very comfortable shorts or capri's that had elastic in them!!  *gasp*  Well....not all of them have, but some did, and they were the ones I wore the most because they were the most comfortable.  Gee, I wonder why??  oi.

Okay, well, Aunt Flo is packing her bags and leaving today.....so that's a big help.  I can't change the past few months, all I can do is change from here, forward.  I CAN get in more exercise, and I CAN make better food choices.  

Football starts tomorrow, so there is one day of the week that I know I will probably blow it!!  Chips and dips!!  ha ha ha!!  If I can just make it a one day a week semi-slurge maybe it will be okay?  Hmmmm something to think about.  

I weighed in at 201 this morning when I came home from Robert's house, but I am pretty confident that I can lose a few pounds quickly, just because I still have a lot of water weight.  I feel bloated still.  I hung out with a friend of mine that was also banded, and we work together.  She was having a bowling birthday party.  It's pretty nice talking to her.  I was her hero at first.  I had been banded a little over a year before she was.  I was losing nicely (slow, but nice) and I gave her all kinds of REAL insight about how you will FEEL once you get restriction.  I told her how you start to rebel against it and get angry....even though you have prayed for restriction!!  It's our food addictions lashing out.  I don't think she quite believed me until her time came!!  ha ha ha That's okay....I wouldn't have believed that for myself either.  ha ha  

She is now MY hero.  She has gotten close to her goal and she really measures out everything she eats.  It just makes sense.  How do I or will I know if I TRULY need a fill if I don't know how much I am eating consistantly.   I also need to measure and stick to a certain amount to lose weight.  There is just no way around it.  My friend has gone through her periods of being too tight and trying to keep that tight fill because the weight is coming off....yep.   I guess we all go through that!! 

Well, today is a new day.  The weather is absolutely gorgeous.  I plan on making healthy choices for me and getting in some exercise.    You know why??  Because I love me!!!  (and I want to get back in my skinny jeans, damnit!)  ha ha ha ha
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Well, Crap!!

Sep 09, 2010

I got a call from Lupe at Dr. Acosta's office today and they had to cancel my fill appointment!!     They moved it to October 7th!!!  I have to wait a whole freaking month!!!  I will definitely point out to Dr. Acosta that for his band patients, this kind of time frame is just unacceptable.  I saw him last on July 23rd and he said he wanted to see me again in a month.  (yeah right).  I don't think he realizes that it's always AT LEAST a 2 month time period before being able to get in and see him again.  When you are trying to get the band at the correct fill level, that time in between is excruciating. 

*sigh*  On the bright side, this gives me some time to lose some weight before seeing him.  I wasn't 100% sure I needed a fill anyway.  During my period, my band is perfectly tight.  It's the in-between times that I need a tweak.  I need a major overhaul on my eating for sure. 

I am going to Vegas at the end of October for a business conference, but I will also get to see at least one OH friend.  I want to be feeling better about myself and able to wear some of my jeans!! 
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Mid-Week Update

Sep 08, 2010

Well, well, well...........Auntie Flo showed up yesterday, and like the past few months, she packed a punch!!!  OUCH!!!  Damn!! 

I ate pretty bad over the weekend.  My sweetie actually had Monday off too, so Sunday and Monday we had chips and homemade dip, and wine.  Eat and repeat!  LOL  It wasn't pretty. 

I know when I got on the scale Tuesday morning I was back up to 201.  UGH.  I didn't even bother today.  I am so damn bloated and in pain and SO TIRED, that I didn't even care.  Really.  

My band is nice and tight with my period again.  It sort of worries me.  I hope that after I get a fill I won't be OVERLY tight during my periods.  UGH!! 

I am scheduled to go to El Paso next week and I want a small fill, I just hope and pray it won't be too much.    I will plan on staying in El Paso for a few hours for sure.  I don't want to get all the way back home and realize there is a huge problem. 

I got a call from my doc's office yesterday.  When I was at my PCP's office last week, he had to me go to the lab and have some tests done.  Just A1C and some other stuff.  The call came in yesterday and they said everything they tested came back normal!!    I was very happy to hear that my A1C was normal.  I never check my blood sugar, and that's the one I do worry about. 

I have to try my best to eat right.  I would like to be 5 pounds down before seeing Dr. Acosta.  I CAN DO THIS
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Minor Set Back On Week Three

Sep 04, 2010

This week was bad with some good sprinkled in! 

My eating was pretty bad most days and I didn't get exercise in except for one day.  I found blood in my urine on Monday night with some excruciating pain when I peed.  So, Tuesday, I got in to see my doctor. 

The last time I saw him was in December when I had to get the referral to have my band checked by an upper GI.  I am not sure what I weighed when I was there last and I didn't want to look.  I have already bragged on my PCP, he is a WONDERFUL man, love him!!  So,he comes in and asks me how I am doing...beyone the UTI.  I told him that since I had seen him, I had has another surgery, lost my house and lost my husband.  ha ha   He asked me about my surgery, he then asked me how I lost my house.  When I explained that, he said, "Oh, now I see how you lost your husband!"     He then went on to tell me, "Melanie, I would NEVER know from looking at you that you have gone through such a hard time.  You are very well put together and seem to be pretty happy."  I told him that I had been through much worse in my life, so even though it was hard, I was okay.  I also told him that I have been depressed about the weight I re-gained, but that I was close to getting back the much needed help from my band.  He then said, "Regarding the weight gain, Melanie...nothing is permanent.  You know this."     He was so sweet and reassuring.  When I was leaving he told me to keep fighting the good fight!  Did I tell you that I love this man?  ha ha

That was the good that was sprinkled in this week....the rest was STRESSFUL times at work, no exercise and poor eating.  So, I am not proud of myself.  Aunt Flo will be coming to town in a few days, I think.  So, I can expect more pounds being added on, I am sure.  I weighed in at 199 this morning, which isn't horrible, considering.  All I can do is remind myself to keep fighting the good fight, like my doc said.  It's a journey, like the name of my lapband.  ha ha  I will be seeing Dr. Acosta in less than two weeks, so, I hope to be down a few pounds, at least!!! 
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About Me
Rio Rancho, NM
Location
31.0
BMI
VSG
Surgery
04/03/2012
Surgery Date
Jun 26, 2007
Member Since

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