My next appointment with Dr. Acosta is April 15th.  That gives me 7 weeks to show Dr. Acosta that I am doing my best to lose weight with my current level of restriction.  There is no way that I need a fill at this time, and doubtful that I would need one by then, either. 

I haven't lost a pound since my last visit with Dr. Acosta back in November.  Well, let me take that back.....I have lost several pounds but have also gained them back, lost them again, gained them back.........ugh.

I have really stepped up my workout lately (I started my 3 mile power walks back up at lunch and going to the gym in the evening ) and my eating has been so-so.....but no results.  I guess I have to be WAY better with my eating.  It sucks to have such a slow, and stubborn metabolism, but that's my lot in life! 

I am not sure what Dr. Acosta will say or do if I go to him weighing the same.  I would almost be tempted to cancel my appointment if that is the case.  ha ha!  Seriously.  However, a revision to the Sleeve could be a topic of conversation, and that is tempting.  Although, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that would help me.  I am already restricted.....I already eat small portions.  I just tend to turn to sliders......and I am sure the sleeve would let me do the same thing.  RNY would probably be better for me.....hmmmm. 

This week I am back at 201.  2 down from Aunt Flo's visit, but still up a few from before her visit.  UGH

Well, for now, I am watching the calendar like a hawk, and I will let that be my fear factor.  I don't want to have to go in to my appointment with my head hung low and ashamed.  I won't.  

Besides, there are way too many fun things and cute clothes coming up with spring and summer........why should I have to miss out?   I won't. 

I promise.

Okay, she did it again......she is a complete, cruel and heartless bitch!!  Who could be so mean to me, you ask?  My dear, old, crotchety, caniving Aunt Flo.   My monthly period came and wiped away ALL of my weightloss for the month!! 

I do not eat well, while I am on my period.  Because of a training class I was in last week, I also didn't make it to the gym but once.  So, I share the blame, but damn.....she is cruel!! 

I am back up to 203, as of this morning.  I know that a lot of this is water weight.  I can feel and see the swelling.  So, I guess it's time to give up, right?  Nope!

As I type, I am boiling eggs to have as a good protein healthy snack, I am planning out my menu for the week and will be heading to the gym later this afternoon.  I will just have to work that much harder to get rid of the damage my unwanted visitor left for me to deal with.  

This week a maintenance guy from the apartments had to come over to fix a clogged drain.  My son and I were both out at work and school, at the time. Well, mysteriously my iPod Touch went missing that day, also!!  UGH!!  I am certain that the a-hole stole it!!  I can't prove it, so I am out of my $300 toy and can't do jack about it!!  I am very unhappy about this.  Very.  I did report it, of course....but the apartment office doesn't believe me.  I also have an app on the device that sends messages to it and helps to locate it, but the thief has to be online for that to work.  So far, the thief is either too dumb to get my iPod on wifi, or he is being smart and not doing that.  I am very mad about the whole thing.  I work so hard to keep my bills paid and to keep a roof over my head and my son.  I took some birthday money and money I had saved up to purchase that.  I would never, normally spend $300 on a toy for myself.    JERK!!!

My dear Auntie Flo showed up this morning, so having chocolate on Valentine's Day seems very appropriate this year!!   ha ha ha!! 

I only went to the gym twice last week, and I felt bad about it too, but some things are out of my control.  I also didn't get much exercise over the weekend, but I didn't go out of control with my eating.  I was down two pounds when I weighed in this morning.  The scale showed 197.  Auntie Flo usually packs on a few pounds, so I expect to see it go back up. 

In fact, it took me all damn month to lose back what Auntie Flo brought me LAST TIME!!    Well, part of that was definitely me.  LOL  I wasn't an angel with  my eating, but I also wasn't THAT bad.  I usually give myself a huge break with my eating during my period, but maybe I won't go THAT overboard this time around.  My band is always very tight during that week, so it's better to try and be good for at least a few days of my period and then every day after it's over. 

I think I am FINALLY over the hump with my struggles this last year.  I can't explain it, but I feel like it's time for me to lose weight again.  I guess the gym experience is very uplifting, and knowing that my band is in very good working order, has me more optimistic.  I want to wear some of my mini skirts again this summer.  I can't wait!! 

The weekend was okay.  I was in a very blue mood.....and wasn't quite sure why, but now I know.  MAJOR PMS.  I am so glad that I kept my mouth shut with my BF.  My PMS had me wanting to say all kinds of things to him.  Looking back, I was overreacting on some of the stuff......some of it does need to be addressed sooner or later.  BF gave me three roses and cooked me dinner on Saturday night.  We had a candlit dinner.  He NEVER cooks for me, so that was sweet and romantic.  At the time, my mind was, "REALLY??  THIS IS ALL I GET?!?!"  ha ha ha  So glad I kept my mouth shut on that one!! 

  I am going through the same struggles that I have been battling since being banded.  Well, honestly.....all of my life.  Those struggles are remembering that my food addictions are what they are.  I CAN overcome them...I HAVE to overcome them. 

Spending so much time at the gym lately, I get to see quite a few very toned and good looking bodies.  I am feeling a difference in my own muscles and really want to shoot for looking like some of the women at the gym.  Don't worry....I don't look at the wafer thin ladies, I look at the women that have some meat on their bones....I definitely don't want to be stick thin.  I watch to see what kind of exercises they are doing and get some ideas on my own workout.  I want to be one of those ladies.....and you know what?  I can.  There is nothing stopping me but me.  

The scale hasn't moved for me....I was at 198 on Monday but back up to 200 this morning.  I had a bad day of eating yesterday.  So, it's time to quit whining and to start doing.  Getting off of my patootie and working out is a great positive change, but I also need to make the hard changes on my diet consistantly.  

This is my Valentine to myself!!