melly37

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Okay, my band was fixed over a year ago now...in fact it was almost 16 months ago.  I gained some weight the first several months, one month I gained 20 freaking pounds....It was my one and only month on the pill!!  (after one month, I quite taking the pill because of the weight gain!) However, I quit gaining weight after the first several months.   I have had really good restriction now for 7 months. 

For the last 6 months I have been hitting the gym hard, and for the last two months, have resumed my lunchtime power walks. I have been a lot more cognisent of what I am eating, and I have been a good girl for about 70% of the time since January. 

YET MY WEIGHT WILL NOT BUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am seriously pondering the idea of a revision once again.  My band is driving me nuts.  There are some days, like today, that I am hungry and feel like I need a small fill.  Then there are days that I can barely choke down broccoli soup.  Those days are always unexpected, so it's a huge hassel and part of why I am not eating right more often.  If my band tightens up enexpectedly, then I can't eat the healthy lunch I brought, and can't eat the dinner I have planned.    It's maddening!! 

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have the sleeve or RNY, but I am just not sure if there isn't ONE MORE THING I can do to help myself to lose weight again.  It's as if my body is just flat out refusing to get any smaller.   I could understand MAYBE, if I was losing then just stopped....I would think that maybe my body just got to it's natural stopping point.  After being banded the first time and getting down to 152 lbs, I know that my body can go lower.  I am stuck in the 190's now.  I have been here for over a year now!!  I was at 198.8 this morning.  I was back up to close to 210 last June or July, I think.....so I have come down SOME, but SERIOUSLY????  190's???  I refuse to believe my body is stuck here forever. 

I have to see my PCP soon to get my annual A1C check up.  I am going to have him thoroughly check my thyroid too, and see if he has any suggestions.  Meanwhile, I guess I should send all of this info to my surgeon's office and see if they have any thoughts on a revision.  It's a 4 hour drive to see him, so I don't want to book an appointment just to be told, "no, you must be at fault".  I don't know if that is what he would say, I can't afford the gas to take the chance. 

So, I feel like I am at a crossroads.  I think I will at least inquire.  What will it hurt? 

My life is such a rollercoaster...about the only thing that DOES stay constant is my weight, unfortunately!! 

I am back up to 199 after two weeks from hell.  One week being PMSing and stress from the BF, then a week of a bad period.  *sigh*  I know some of it is water weight, so not panicking, just exasperated.  

After my BF and I had a few very long talks, things seem to be much better for now.  I wasn't communicating with him all my concerns and about things I was getting very upset about.  I saved it all up for one day, where I layed it all in his lap.  ha ha.  He is recognizing some of what he has done to upset me and is taking steps to make them better.  So, we'll see.  

On the weightloss front, I have just been plain bad.  Starting tomorrow, I have to really get back on track.  Tracking my calories, carbs and exercise.  I have to take this very seriously in case I need to present the numbers to my PCP to get some tests run on my thyroid.  I do think my metabolism is freakishly slow....but I also know I am not doing all that I can right now.  

So, maybe next week's update will reflect a better, more in control, me.    GO ME!!!

Well, on the personal side of things, it seems that I will probably end up being single soon.   I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and much of it was a good experience....but the last several months have been a struggle.  I did turn to some comfort foods today, but I didn't go too overboard.  My band tightened up a bit, but my restriction isn't *that* tight, so it was still okay.  

I am not sure if we are split up for good or not, but either way, I know I will get through this okay.  I have been through a lot of pain in my life, therefore I am a survivor.

I didn't update my blog last week, partially because of this gloom, and partially because the scale was really ticking me off.  I have been so good, tracking my food, exercising, weight lifting....and the scale was going up.   

By the end of the week, I was back down to 194.6.  So, I guess that's one good reason people say NOT to weigh yourself every day.  I am just always afraid that the one day that I do weight myself, that it will be a day where my weight is up for some reason.  

Another week, another chance to improve mentally and physically.  Exercise.  Eat right.  Be good to me.  Hope you do the same for YOU.