Happy Valentine's Day
I have to say that I am lucky to have someone very special in my life to enjoy Valentine's Day with. He showers me with love and affection every day, not just commercial holidays. However, I probably wouldn't have attracted someone this worthy if I didn't love myself.
Yes, I bemoan, and get down on myself for not being able to stick to my weight-loss plan, but I still forgive and love myself. It wasn't always this way. Before I ever had my LapBand in in 2008, I weighed over 260 lbs. I truly was a defeated, lost person. My health wasn't that great, I let others use and abuse me and my future just didn't seem that bright.
Having the courage to make major changes and undergo WLS was a big turning point for me. It signaled that I was ready to start improving my spot in life instead of feeling like a victim from it. Change can be painful. Change isn't always what we expected. Yet, change is what I needed.
The last 5 years I have had my share of change. I ended my marriage, lost my house, lost a few people I thought were my friends, along the way. On the positive side of change:
I have lost 100 lbs (although had a bit of regain, so 80 lbs lost at this point)
I have discovered short skirts and heels
I no longer allow others to treat me badly or with disrespect
I no longer worry if I can fit in a booth or any other chair
I shop in the "normal" sized sections of clothing stores
My health is really pretty good
I have developed real friendships, based on mutual respect
I have had the courage to step up my skills at work and saw myself promoted twice after WLS
I have an optimistic outlook on my future
None of these things, even WLS, would not have happened, if I hadn't loved myself enough. Most of you reading this also loved yourself to have WLS and improve your lot in life......keep loving and respecting yourself. That is the best gift you can give yourself.
On a side note, went to see the therapist again on Tuesday. We talked about the last session and she wanted to know how I felt about it. I told her that I might have sounded harsh, but I was truly feeling that just going over my food log wasn't going to change my behavior. However, I also told her that I understood that she was trying to see my patterns so she could better assess how to help me change my behavior.
She then acknowledged that my experience and knowledge do make me more advanced than her regular patients and she is going to keep that in mind and not be so elementary with me.
For that session, we kind of came away with the idea that I end up obsessing over the foods that I tell myself are off-limits. SO, as a one week experiment, I will follow my plan of eating mainly protein, but nothing is off-limits as long as I eat what is on my plan FIRST. So, we'll see how that works for me.
I am still not 100% sure, this lady is the right therapist for me, but I am willing to give her a chance. I can't say how my weight is this week. My scale suddenly showed a very big drop of 7 pounds. I weighed in at 173, BUT, I don't trust it. This happened once last fall, and when the scale was moved to sweep and mop, those pounds suddenly reappeared. ha ha But, I enjoy seeing that lower number, so I haven't bothered to move the scale to see if that will make it change. ha ha
Have a great rest of the week and remember to love yourself today!!