Today was my 2 week post op apt with the surgeon. I was nervous and scared because I was not feeling like I have lost much. Everything has been a bit rough because I have had a pure lack of energy. I would start doing something and every bit of energy I had would just drain from my body.

So, I should start off talking about my actual surgery. May 7, 2012 I had the Roux-N-Y gastric bypass. The surgeon checked everything before stitching me up and found a leak between my new stomach and the small intestine. Finding this meant my 1 1/2-2 hour surgery was extended to 4 hours. This freaked my boyfriend, mom, sister and everyone else out since they knew nothing besides surgery was supposed to not take more than 2 hours. So, the surgeon went back and made sure the intestine was attached properly. This made the opening swell shut. My first 2-3 days I was not able to drink or "eat" anything besides a few ice chips and swabs of water to keep my mouth from drying out. Those were the hardest few days ever. I love my water and just wanted to drink! I will say the hospital and the staff were just completely amazing though. The patients get free massages and aroma therapy. The nurses were very friendly and helpful in any way they could be. The student nurses were very attentive and helped keep me from being lonely as my boyfriend had to work while I was in the hospital and we live an hour and a half away. Coming to visit was out of the question. I have no complaints about my hospital stay! I was released May 12 (the day before Mother's Day). The nurses knew how much I missed my 5 year old daughter who I had only spent 1 night away from prior to this. They really helped with getting me ready so I could be released.

Once I got home it was a bit hard adapting to having a lot less help with the simplest things. Getting out of bed was my biggest struggle. My boyfriend tried to help but it was just not the same. Guess the lack of training did not help there. My emotions were on a roller coaster as my daughter would not listen to me very well and with her preschool graduation coming up. My sister, who had been my rock through the last year of getting ready for surgery, moved to take on a new job and now hardly talks to me. She recently went through divorce and has been dating around a lot. When she gets a new guy she puts him above everything. That has been hard on me as she has gone through this surgery and I thought she would be there for me to help me through everything. I have learned that the best person to depend on is yourself. Instead I have been turning to my friends I have made on here as well as local friends to help guide me or just to talk. I really appreciate those who have listened to me as I rant, ramble and cry.

A few days after being released one of my incisions started leaking a watery like substance that was clear to a pinkish color. It was not just leaking, it was squirting. I freaked out and called the hospital asking what to do. I was told it was not normal at all but it was fine and actually healthy for my body to get rid of this liquid. For the next 5 days I was leaking bad enough that they suggested I use mini pads (yes the ones for your monthly) to help with absorbtion.

On to now. Since before I left the hospital I have had a hard, fevered spot on my stomach. It started very large. The nurses told me it was fairly normal. It has not bothered me too much, just some minor pain when getting in position for bed since it is most comfortable to sleep on my left side. Yesterday (May 22) was my daughter's preschool graduation. The emotional roller coaster was active and going at full speed. I cannot believe how fast she is growing up! Well, the hard spot I mentioned before developed what looked like a blood boil. It was painful to touch and just looked gross. Right before leaving for the graduation this boil ended up sort of errupting in two spots. It was slowly leaking out blood, nothing else. I decided since my apt was today I would not worry about it too much and just talk to the surgeon about it. So, today at the surgeon's office he looks at it (and the other leak spot I spoke of before) and was a bit worried. He decided to splice open the one that was bleeding to see if there was an infection inside. He managed to drain some of the blood build up but saw no other infection. Still worried he decided to put me on an antibiotic to help with it. The good news, I lost 17 lbs!!!!!! This helped to reassure me so much. I felt as though I was going no where. The surgeon also upgraded me to the stage 3 diet (mashed or pureed foods). My stomach is very thankful!

After getting home from my apt I decided to go to the grocery store and get some food since I had to drop off my prescriptions anyway. While at the store I ran into several people I know. Both people who knew about the surgery and people who didn't know. Everyone had such great compliments! I was shocked! No better way to boost your confidence than to have people who were clueless to your surgery tell you you look great!

Today was a great success! I got a confidence boost. I get to finally have food (even if it is pureed or mashed it is food)! And I was reassured that I am doing well. Plus I found I might have a little doctor on my hands. She watched in amazement as the doctor cut me open to check for infection. I am really starting to regain my energy as well. All I have to say is: Bring on tomorrow. One step at a time is all I can do but I will do it with pride and put everything I can into it!

I finally got the surgery scheduled! The emotions running through me are so overwelming! It has taken me just over 1 year since the first time I went to a meeting to get to here, but I am here now! That is all that matters. My surgery is scheduled for May 7 at 7:30am but I have to be there at 5:30 to register and get ready. We will have to leave hom at 3:30-4 to get there. I am guessing no sleep for me that night! Well that is my update.

This is my first blog entry. I am 25 years old and weigh roughly 340 pounds. For just about the past year I have been going throught the process to have bariatric surgery done. I have gone through everything, just waiting for the surgeon office to send the request to my medical.
Last April I started seeing a dietitian through the surgeon's offive. I had my initial weigh in and we discussed the different procedures and how the surgery will effect my life. She gave me a list of the things I will need to do to help make the surgery a success as well as help me when the surgery comes. I had to bring in my meal list stating how much I am eating at each meal and how often. The changes I have made to prepair myself for surgery have been a little rough but I know it will be well worth it.
A little over halfway through my 6 months of seeing the dietitian I started seeing the psychologist as required. This was not very easy for me not only because of my social anxiety but because of the kind of person this psychologist was. I am an unwed mother and he was a christian man that seemed to look down on me for this. He then starts saying that my depression and anxiety are caused from things that happened when I was a child instead of cause by my weight. I may not be a professional but I do know that before my weight spiked up after having my daughter, my depression and anxiety were very minimal. That alone tells you that my weight is what effected this.
Sadly, that was not the only things to discourage me. In my 5th month of seeing the dietitian she weighs me and says "Well, you have gained 5 pounds since your initial visit. The surgeon might see that as you are not dedicated enough and not do the surgery for you." Now, this was in the end of summer. I spent much of the summer swimming. I had not swam since I was 17 years old. The "weight" gain was muscle and my clothes were falling off of me. I tried to explain that to the dietitian but all she cared was what the scale said. That really upset me and made me mad.
Everything got thrown for a loop when I found out my mother had breast cancer for the second time. I put everything on hold to go and be by her side (1200 miles away) for a month during surgery and recovery. My mom lives right outside of the mountains in Colorado. Being back home, where I grew up, was exactly what I needed to help relax me and sooth away the stress. I did not realise how much I missed the mountains, the fresh air, the gorgeous blue skies. Being there and breathing in that crisp air and seeing everything again was so cleansing. I got to see some old friends and my church family. These people are the most amazing people I have known in my life. They have touched me in a way I never knew possible. They are all so loving, accepting and forgiving of anything in your life. To them, you are another child of God. Nothing more, nothing less. After I left they took over helping my sister and mother with the rest of the cancer treatments and radiation.
Beginning of this month I had my meeting with the surgeon for him to give his approval to send things off to my medical. I was so nervous and scared because of what the dietitian had said. All of my fear was wiped away when the surgeon came in. He was so nice and friendly! He said I am a pefect canditate and he thinks the results will be wonderful. That was such a huge sigh of relief!
After the visit with the surgeon they were supposed to send a request to my medical to see if they will approve it. I call my medical to find something else out only to be told I do not have medical for the month of March, so my apt may not have been covered. I also have to wait until the first of the month for them to send the request to my medical. What happened is I went to turn my papers in for my 6 month report and I found out that my worker (all workers really) got moved. The people say they can take the papers to my worker along with all the other papers they have there and tell me she would have it that day or the next. Well, it took over a week to get to her, making them late. So my medical got canceled for a month. So, that is where I am at right now.