I can remember going to stores and looking at the clothes and wishing i could fit into them.

I remember going home and crying because i didnt feel good about myself because i hated the way i looked.

So what did I do?

I ate and ate and ate until i fell asleep and woke up and ate some more.

OMG did I eat.. and didnt think anything of it.. It was all normal.. 

Now?  I get pissed cause i dont fit into my size 12 or 10 and need to buy an 8.  I get pissed cause today i fell down the stairs because my size 10 shoe flew off my foot that I had no clue had lost weight a long with me.

Im not complaining cause i would not change any of my WLS decisions.  This was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

I look at my old pictures and say JESUS how could i not see myself?  Then I look for old pictures and cant really find very many.. thats cause i never took any.. NOW i dont have room for many more.  I need more room on my computer.  I love looking at myself in windows in mirrors any reflections.  I love going to stores and just trying clothes on for the heck of it.. I just dont like when it fits and im spending that money.. lol...

Anyhow ill post more later just needed to put my thoughts down...

Some have asked if I have a myspace page...here is the address:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=154708277

So i'm getting married.  (again) I got engaged this past sunday. And I havent posted in a while.  It's been a rough past couple of months.

* Dealing with moms and helping her get through the process of recovering from her husbands death.
* Lost my sister the week of Christmas - Died and a piece of me died with her (sorry to those that emailed me during that time and I never got back to you)
* The emotional side of this surgery is taking its toll on me.  I try hard not to cheat, but some days I test myself and sneak something in there that I know shouldnt be there and end up getting sick.
* Had my first dumping experience, but I passed out cold in public.  Person I was with thought I was dying.  The poor thing.
* I look at the people around me and see them eat and get disgusted.  I hate that!!!!!!!  Cause I was that person.  I keep the thoughts to myself and dont share them, but the bottled up feelings are killing me...

Other than that everythings great!!