Ugh - I can't believe that I tipped the scales at 410 pounds. I hit an all time low.....high.....whatever.
Ugh - I can't believe that I tipped the scales at 410 pounds. I hit an all time low.....high.....whatever.
February 20, 2007 -
Went to Dr. Tishler's informational presentation on weight loss surgery. Feeling encouraged.
March 20, 2007 -
Met with Dr. Tishler one-to-one. He went over everything from my medical history and where I am now to where I should be, where I want to be and how I am going to get there. He'll give me the tools. I have to use them correctly. Feeling more positive and more encouraged. I know this is what I need to do to live a healthy life. Have an appointment for a recheck on May 8, 2007. STARTED TAKING MULTI VITAMIN AND CALCIUM SUPPLEMENT. HEY I WEIGHED IN AT 385!!!!!
March 20, 2007 -
Went to my first support group! This is the first time I have felt comfortable in public in a room full of people I don't know! How cool is that! After listening to Dr. Tishler and Nina, I was so encouraged and so full of positive energy I am even more sure this is the right decision.
March 21, 2007 -
No time like the present. Started making all of my appointments. With any luck, I can have everything completed by my May 8th appointment.
April 3, 2007 -
Met with my nutritionist. Boy have I been doing this whole "eating" thing WRONG. Charlotte was awesome. I learned so much and started putting things into place. I am more determined and more confident I can do this.
Started sipping water and drinking more of it. Sip every 3-5 minutes in order to get 64 oz in. Hopefully won't float away!!! LOL
April 10, 2007 -
Went to another support group meeting. HEY, I am liking this. Still trying to sip my water. Still taking vitamins and calcium.
April 11, 2007 -
1st part of Nuclear Stress Test at Hartford Hospital. Talk about "stressful" . Walk on a treadmill which is going to incline and increase in speed, if you can handle it.
Part 2 is tomorrow....if I make it through part 1. **** SWEAT ****
April 12, 2007.
Part 2. Lie still while this machine takes pictures of your heart from all different angles. 45 minutes later...time to go home.
Beginning to practice how to eat properly:
1. Eat at a table with NO distractions. No reading, no TV, no talking. For me this is a big one because I talk all the time. ****sigh****
2. Eat your protein FIRST.
3. Take small bites and chew for 1 minute. Put your fork down in between.
4. Nothing to drink with dinner and make sure you have nothing to drink for one hour post meal.
April 17, 2007 -
Went for my psych eval. Jennifer explained all the psychological components of the surgery and new lifestyle. After speaking with her I am confident that I can succeed with the tools that Dr. Tishler will give me.
May 2, 2007 -
Echocardiagram. Last cardiac test......let's hope I don't have a coronary waiting for the results!!! LoL
May 2, 2007 -
Went to the nutrionist for a recheck. Was pleased to tell her that I have mastered sipping my water (with a childs sippy cup) and I am getting around 40-45 oz of water. Some days are more. I was also pleased to tell her that I am eating properly with regard to protein first, chew slow, take breaks, no tv or reading, no eating in the car etc.
Hey I feel great.
May 7 2007 -
WHAT WAS I THINKING???? I signed up to play softball at work.........I even played catcher for 3 or 4 innings. I must be insane.
May 8, 2007 -
the moment I have been waiting for since March 20th. My follow-up with Dr. Tishler. ALL OF MY TESTS ARE DONE!!!!! My cardiologist said everything was ok. I got up on the scale........374 lbs !!!! A loss of 11 pounds.......Oh my god, I am on a cloud!!!!! I brought my camera to take a picture of me smiling. A real smile!!!! Dr. Tishler took my picture for me and congratulated me on all my hard work. All of my testing is done. Now they have to submit me to my insurance and we will have to wait and see.
Began drinking 1 protein supplement drink per day in place of a meal. Believe it or not, this thing is pretty tasty and curbed my appetite for 4 hours. I think I will replace dinner with this protein drink.
May 9, 2007 -
Really feeling the effects of softball...OUCH!. My aches have pain!
May 14, 2007 -
I called the Dr's office to see when they would submit my case to my insurance company. My Dr's Admin. told me that she handed my file off to the gal that handles the insurance submission and surgery booking, so I wrote her number down and left a message for her to call me when she got a chance.
Around 3:15 in the afternoon, the young lady called me back and wanted to talk about scheduling my surgery. It took me a couple of seconds to realize what she was telling me but I felt the need to ask, "You mean they gave us the pre-cert?" Yes, she said.
Now I have my dates - June 8 to see the doctor prior to surgery and JUNE 25, 2007 will be my date.
I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!
May 23, 2007 -
Here I sit.....trying to upload a picture of me that was taken on May 8th. I had my camera with me when I went to the doctors office and he was nice enough to take a picture of me SMILING. Really, really, really smiling. It felt so good.
My clothes are not fitting well, they are starting to loosen up. People have commented that they can see in my face that I am loosing some weight. It makes me feel so good to hear that and to look in the mirror and see that my skirts don't look as bad as they did a couple of months ago. I haven't had my surgery yet, and I am trying very hard to work on my physical and mental health.
I still wish time would go by quicker. I have 33 days until surgery and this is TORTURE!!!! Ugh....a watched pot NEVER boils.....it's true. It's like being pregnant and you are getting close to your due date or you're overdue and people keep saying to you....."What, you still haven't had the baby yet?"
I feel so Charlie Brown right now...... <<<< sigh >>>>>>>
May 26, 2007 -
I FEEL LIKE I AM WATCHING PAINT DRY! UGHGHHHH!!!!
O.K. time to do some serious whining.....IT IS TOO HOT, TOO STICKY, I AM TOO CHUBBY AND THERE ARE TOO MANY MOSQUITOES in my zip code right now and I can't find my bathing suit so I can go SWIMMING....Wait a minute......I don't even know if it will fit me!
<<<< SNAP >>>> OK I'm back!
I get my hourly inspiration from obesityhelp.com when I look at everyone's before and after pics. I know that some day I will be joining everyone else there.
T MINUS 30 DAYS.....HOPEFULLY.......
May 30, 2007 -
Ok, paint is drying very slowly....grass has turned brown instead of growing and my watched pot refuses to BOIL!!!!!!!!
See what I am getting at???? PATIENCE IS NOT MY VIRTUE, STRONG SUIT OR IN MY GENETIC COMPOSITION.
T MINUS 26 days.......Life is good.
June 4, 2007 -
Ok so now I am trying to get all the things done at home that I wanted to do before surgery so I won't have to worry about them after. I FEEL LIKE I AM SPINNING MY WHEELS!!!!
Rather than deal with the clutter, I am making neater piles. HELP!!!!
I have these mini-nightmares that all my clutter is chasing me around the house.
T-Minus 22 days and counting.......
June 8, 2007 -
Had a MAJOR setback today. Went to the surgeon's office and found out that someone DID NOT put my name on his calendar for June 25 th. TALK ABOUT WANTING TO FALL COMPLETELY APART. I felt as if someone hit me with a car. I couldn't believe what she was saying to me. Maybe if they have a cancellation they might be able to do it sooner. I won't hold hope for this to happen as I am suggested to do my liquid diet for 14 days instead of 10 days.
So now I wait until July 16th, my birthday, in order to have my surgery, that was the earliest date he has available.
I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO START COUNTING THE DAYS DOWN. IT IS TOO DEPRESSING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
AND I GAINED 1 POUND...................
June 16, 2007 -
I am keeping myself busy by "Spring" cleaning. A little late, but at least I am trying to keep my mind off of stuff. I might even be able to get the garage sorted out by the time my surgery date rolls around.
June 22, 2007 -
Stepped on the scale this morning and I am down to 370.4. Hey I lost 4.6 pounds! I started my liquid diet on June 20th.
This is more challenging than I imagined. My final real meal was disappointing. I really thought I would go "balls to the wall" and stuff myself until I wanted to hurl.
My better judgement, discipline and things that my nutritionist and surgeon taught me paid off. I had a sensible dinner! I even skipped the starchy potato!
I came home and actually was crying because I knew it would be a while before I could have something substantial. Not exactly what I expected but I am doing pretty good today. Hungry and a little anxious and jumpy. Now all I have to do is start drinking decaf.
I had a "near-miss" with a donut today. Thankfully a friend at work was there to encourge me to back away from the donut!!!!
I feel so HOMER!! DOH!
June 26, 2007 -
Just trying to get things in shape (including myself) before the big day. My lists have lists! There is so much to do and not enough time to get it all in. I guess I will have time to get things done now that my son will be staying with his dad for the summer and into the new school year.
July 9, 2007 -
Just saw my PCP and he is please to tell me that I AM CLEARED FOR SURGERY. I went for my bloodwork this morning, I spoke with the hospital yesterday to get some admission questions out of the way. I am well on my way to getting my house in order before hand. Doubt I will be able to get the garage cleaned before (OH DARN!)
Here I am.....looking forward and not behind. In alot of pain because of my arthritis in my right leg. It is very hard to get my power walk in.
Happy that this is the end of the old life and the beginning of the new life.
Having surgery on your birthday is not as good as giving birth to your child on your birthday, but you know what....IT COMES PRETTY DAMN CLOSE!
July 13, 2007 -
WOW MOMENT # 1 -
I've hit every single emotion possible to a human being.
I just heard from the hospital and it is finally sinking in that Monday is the day. Right now my heart is pounding.
I NEVER expected to be going thru this many emotions before the surgery. I've been cool, matter-of-fact, about the whole thing.
I have so many questions for members that have recently gone thru RNYGB recently both lap and open.
July 15, 2007 -
Tired. I have a headache that will not go away.
Had a dream last night that I overslept tomorrow and woke up when my surgery would be. 3 nights in a row I have had dreams about the circumstances surrounding my surgery.........
Tomorrow is the day....supposedly.....I will believe it when I am in recovery, feeling tons of pain and the nurse tells me what was done to me.
So thank you all for your kindness, encouragement, wisdom, insight and well wishes.
I will see you on the other side......I will be in Hartford Hospital tomorrow and will post as soon as possible.
Love and hugs......
Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday dear Me!
Happy Birthday to ME! Michele Lenc.
July 31, 2007 -
I went for my 2 week post op appointment. I was soooo looking forward to having all this metal removed from my tender abdomen. You know, the washboard abs I fantasize about!!!!.
Anyway, I went into the appointment knowing that I lost some weight. My knickers are too big!
I can see it in my face, neck and shoulders that I have lost something.
As I apporached the evil scale, I said to it "Don't mess with me today, or I will take you OUT!" The nurse got a chuckle on that.
When I stepped on the digital scale I couldn't believe my eyes.......335 lbs. I was 375 lbs when I was weighed for my pre-surgical appointment.
I did the jello jiggle all the way down to the exam room! I am happy dancing!
THAT IS A 40 LBS LOSS OF WEIGHT! I'm still saying "pinch me" ! The doctor is pleased at my hard work and so am I.
Now that my staples are out, I can really start working on exercising.
August 2, 2007 -
As a gift I received WLS magazine. A really great read for me. Too many ads though.
Pre-Op I became obessed with life after surgery and the stories of how people traded their food addiction for those of alcohol, drugs, retail therapy, risk engaging behavior, etc.
Maybe I am over thinking this, and I am not a therapist, psychiatrist or any type of mental health provider...
if you are following your plan to doctors orders, there shouldn't be any question of trading one addiction for another. There is too much help out there for WLS patients, all you have to do is ASK.
With regards to my nutritionist and my physician there are many things that I have be instructed not to have....alchohol, any type of sweets, anything with sugar, refined sugar, highly processed etc. ad nauseum.
Lately it seems as if I am being bombarded with temptation all around me. Work, home, social situations. The worst think
The list is clear, concise, and large in my opinion, and yes it is sad when I see a sweet treat but that doesn't mean that I am going to try to find a way to "cheat". NO means NO, period!
After all the physical pain I have been through with the pre-op arthritis, and other co-morbidities, plus the post-operative pain; physical and emotional changes...cheating would be a horrible and terrifying experience for me. To cheat on any eating something forbidden or to tradeIt would begin the downward spiral back to the lifestyle I have worked so hard to overcome.
I have been living the WLS, some would say to the "extreme" but in my opinion it is all about discipline and behavior modifications.
Many co-workers, friends and family know of my struggle with my weight pre-op, and now of the challenges of my new lifestyle post-op. They are supportive, thrilled to see my accomplishments both big and small and look forward to something new everyday from me.
The moral to the story is, this is a HUGE lifestyle change.
This doesn't mean it can't be done.
EVERYONE who has had WLS owes it to themselves to follow their plan set-up by their their Physician and Nutritionist . To do so, would be the greatest thing next to having WLS.
So before you put that M & M in your mouth, or that bite of brownie, that sip of alcohol, or something worse...Please stop and ask yourself.........Do I really NEED to do this? If the answer is yes, you may need to go back and re-read all your literature that was given to you pre-op for your post-op lifestyle (just an opinion). i am not saying or implying that you are weak, just needing a little extra support. Call a friend, call your Dr.'s office, call your nutritionist or therapist.
Everyone has come so far, even those newbies just joining us on the loser's bench. We owe it to ourselves to continue to eat healthy, exercise, and stay focused on a healthier, eventually happier way of life.
So please everyone, Look before you leap, think before you do.
August 8, 2007 -
Mini WOW moment! I went to go and see my PCP because I have this wicked sore throat. Thinking that it is some cootie I picked up from work, I decided to head it off at the pass.
Normally, I would sit down in one of his chairs and get stuck so that when they called my name....I would get up....and so would the chair!.. It always stuck to my hips. Not so this time. I left the chair in its place. Yeah for me!
August 17, 2007 - BIG WOW MOMENT -
I am down 45 lbs since my surgery. I should be down more, but because my incision refused to heal, because I went back to work much earlier than I was supposed to....I couldn't walk. Now that I can really walk, and join a gym, I am kickin' butt and not taking any crap!
I am doing the happy dance!!!!
August 21, 2007 -
Joined a really great gym so I can get my 1 hour of cardio in 7 days a week, in a safe and controlled environment. My machine of choice is the treadmill as I can't multi-task enough to do the eliptical. I got confused and almost fell. DUH. Don't know how much I weigh as I am only going to weigh myself at the doctors office. Maybe they will let me pop in from time to time in between appointments.
August 27, 2007 -
Met with a personal trainer at the gym and she gave me some great tips and introduced me to 7 other machines and how to work out without hurting myself. I am so psyched. I am going to have my boyfriend take my measurments and record them in a database so I can keep track of my workouts and weight loss.
Yeah...I am fitting into clothes that are slightly smaller and people are noticing a difference. Definately awesome.
August 28, 2007 - TIME TO VENT:
I just responded to a post on the "national" forum. I am copying and pasting it for your perusal. Basically someone asked about when do you stop losing weight after surgery and she knows of someone who eats a few fries and a bite of a hamburger. My comment to her is listed below.
"I'm not a doctor or nutritionist; however I've found that eventually you will stop losing weight. Some people hit a plateau and get frustrated.
I follow my doctors instructions to the letter so i have been very good about eating and very successful with my weight loss.
I get frustrated when I hear of people eating a few french fries, a couple of M & M's, going out and having a few drinks etc.
The whole purpose of the surgery was to change your life for the better by giving you the tool to help you lose weight and get healthy. If a person who has had WLS goes back to their old habits, can they really stay focused and disciplined enough? Eventually a few fries turns out to be a small order and that couple of bites of a burger turn out to be a junior whopper.
If someone is going to try to cheat the system, they shouldn't have the surgery. There is plenty of food that WLS patients can have post-op, that are satisfying and fun.
Your nutritionist and doctors can better guide you.
Good luck with your recovery and weight loss."
Lord knows lately it has been challenging to be near sweets and bagels and things that I used to take advantage of and take for granted.
I know I can beat those thoughts and temptations especially when you buy them for your co-workers as part of the "Breakfast Club".
By keeping busy and drinking a zero calorie beverage and trying to remember my short term goal (be under 300 lbs by September 17th) and my long term goal which is be within 20 lbs +/- of 200 lbs by New Year's Day, I know I can beat this demonic monster!
Stay tuned, more to come shortly.
September 13, 2007 -
My body schedule is all "out of whack", my work schedule...is all out of whack....I feel like I am failing because I feel like I am not making the right choices due to my schedule.
I was finally able to have a piece of red meat.....Beef, it was what's for dinner...NOT! I had 2 bites and my pouch began to grouch. SO MUCH FOR THAT PERFECTLY COOKED RIB-EYE.
Guess I won't be eating red meat anymore.
I will just chew it to get the taste and spit it out. I have been doing that alot lately.
I haven't been able to get re-focused. I am getting more organized and less focused........That just does not seem right.
Oh one last thing....I need to get this off my chest (which is withering away to nothing. I have cow udders now....
I HATE MY CHEWABLE VITAMINS. I LOATHE MY YUCKY UGLY FISH OIL WITH OMEGA-3. I DESPISE MY CHEWABLE CALCIUM. I TOLERATE MY LIQUID PROTEIN (BARELY TOLERATE).
I am not drinking enough water and my hair is thinning to the point where I may have to do a DONALD TRUMP COMBOVER SOON.
I haven't been to the gym in over a week. UGH I AM A MESS. I need one of these:
September 18, 2007 -
Not a WOW moment but a Holy s*@t moment!
Today I am 2 months out. I went to see Dr. T and was scared to step on the scale.
As I walked down the corridor from the reception area to the SCALE...my heart was pounding, and it was like I was being taken to the execution chair. I thought for sure I had not lost any weight, and if anything gained weight.
I looked at the scale...it looked back at me...
I took a deep breath and stepped very slowly...the numbers ticked downward and stopped at..........316!
I was in complete shock! I lost 59 pound is 2 months!!! How incredible is that? I never, ever, in my wildest dreams thought that I could loose weight ever again.
To sweeten the deal... I started at 410 in February, 2007. So since February, 2007 I have lost 94 pounds. Mind you, gravity is taking over and my skin is hanging down, but hey, what's a little skin, between friends right???
September 26, 2007
I went to see my PCP because of pain in my right hip. I have had this pain forever, and at one point was diagnosed with OA.
They always make me step on this old fashioned scale that goes up to 350 pounds. I think it needs to be calibrated, as I always seemed heavier and heavier.
Guess what? Doctor's scales...DO NOT LIE!!!!
Quit trying to fool yourself and make yourself feel better. It will only make you feel twice as bad when you snap back into reality.
So I go into the exam room and the nurse wants me to hop on this scale that I have grown to hate over the last 4 years. I REFUSED.
I told her the only scale I go by, is Dr. T's.
She took my blood pressure ~ using an adult cuff. Not an extra size cuff. Not bad she said.
When she left, my curiousity got the best of me as the scale was calling me...saying...."don't be such a baby and wuss out. You know you WANT TO!..c'mon just a quick step on the old platform!"
I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, forgot to take my shoes off...walked across the room and stepped on it's tiny platform.
I made the adjustment...300 on the lower beam and 16 on the upper beam. CLUNK...IT HIT THE BOTTOM...SUNK LIKE A ROCK ACTUALLY.
Ok, let me try 14 on top....CLUNK...IT HIT THE BOTTOM OF THE RAIL. AGAIN!!!
OK one last time...I will try 11.....still sinkin' and clunkin' to the bottom of the rail
I'll try 09 - now we went to the top of the rail CLUNK
So I hit 10....steady as she goes.....SHE'S DEAD CENTER!
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! I've lost 100 pounds since February of 2007!
I've lost 65 pounds since my surgery on July 16th.
My eyes started to well up with tears. I couldn't believe it!!!!
My PCP came in and saw I was standing on the scale. He asked if I was OK and I told him to look at the scale. He recorded my weight and looked back in my chart.
He is very proud of my accomplishments.
My smile is huge and won't change.
Even with the thinning hair and the ucky tasting vitamins, supplements etc....
I'VE HIT THE LOTTERY! The...I'm on my way to being a healthier, happier person lottery.
Someone at work commented that I need a new picture badge because I don't look the same. I agree. But I think I am going to hold off for now.
I just want to enjoy my accomplishments.
September 29, 2007:
I did a "self-guided" walking tour of NYC. What a workout. I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan to Brooklyn and took the train uptown to Columbus Circle. I poked my way around Central Park South and onto 7th Avenue.
I walked past the Carnegie Deli - my ab fab place to chow, and never even blinked.
When I got home, I was truly exhausted, but pleased at my accomplishments of the day.
I didn't have a craving for any foods, drinks or things that were not good for me and spent 6 hours enjoying the city on a beautiful, warm, fall day.
October 14, 2007 - Wow moment # ? I lost track LOL 296 and counting.
114 pounds lost since February 28, 2007 and 79 of those since my surgery on July 16, 2007
I hopped on the scale today at home, something I promised myself I would never do and found that I was below 300 lbs. I now weigh 296.
No more seat belt extensions for me. I can tilt my steering wheel comfortably and have dropped 2 jean sizes.
Strangers are nicer to me now. They smile at me, say hello and I return the kind gestures graciously.
I have become more patient and flexible and more tolerant.
I wake up in the morning and love my life. I smile more now than I ever have.
For me, life is SWEET!
November 28, 2007 - Hide and Seek. Lost and Found.
Sorry I haven't blogged for awhile. I've now begun to play hide and seek with various parts of my body. To which...I have now posted a listing in the paper that says...Lost! One huge trunk that was filled with junk, and one treasure chest. Please help me find. LOL
I stepped on the scale a couple of nights ago and I'm now at 270.
Quite an accomplishment considering I had my surgery on July 16th.
I actually walked around the mall on Sunday and didn't feel like I was going to collapse. It was quite enjoyable.
Anyway, the holidays are coming and you all know what that means...besides mistletoe.....TEMPTATION.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you find that you just can't resist a cookie.
It probably won't kill you, it will just make you physically and mentally feel like you have been kicked in the pouch by a mule!
The most strangest part of my journey so far...is the fact that there are times when I am FREEZING COLD!
But then, hey, if this is the worst that could come out of this...I consider myself extremely fortunate and blessed.
Much love and hugs from me and my family to yours.
I will post some more photos when someone takes them of me.
December 28, 2007 - What an awesome ride!
I can' believe what an awesome journey this has been in spite of my emergency hernia repair on Halloween. Since then I have had to take it real slow and dramatically modify my activity.
When I started in Feb 2007, I was in a size 38 womans pants and dress. Obviously, the top was way too big and the hip and tummy were fine but the length was too long. Talk about what NOT to wear when you are trying to impress your perspective employer.
I am now down to a size 30 dress/jeans - a 6X girdle - a 3x pair of Joe Boxers which I prefer under my girdle as womens underwear SUCK.
It is amazing to see how people, especially men react to me. I've had men flirt with me at the bookstore, grocery store, toll booth collectors, men at airports...and all in all, I sadly say to myself...
"you are the man that wouldn't look at me when I was so overweight, you wouldn't help me when I needed it and asked, even though I was the same kind, caring, and gentle, fun-loving and spirited person I am now. What makes you think that I would want to pursue anything with you?"
I smile, warmly, say "Hi!" acknowledge the gesture graciously and go about my business.
I have more confidence, poise and energy and have made the attempt to join groups with which I have similar interests.
I am looking forward to having my pannus removed so I can eventually ease my way back into the gym without doing serious damage.
February 21, 2008 - Lost and found a.k.a. - The Journey Continues!
Lost...size 50 D breasts and trunk with junk in it! Please do NOT return if found....you can KEEP it!!!
Found...a reason to live!
I never imagined my life could change so dramatically. I keep thinking that this is all a dream and I will wake up from it.
I recently went to my surgeon for a check up and willingly hopped onto the scale. I am down to 250 pound.
I've gone from a womens dress size 38 to a size 28 (fits well, but I like things a little less fitting) but I prefer a 30.
Jeans are different. Where I once was a 38 jean I am now a 26 (with no spandex or elastic....thank you!)
I can fit into a 3Xshirt and 3X skirts and I even wear real shoes.
I've found that clothing manufacturers are different. So size 3X's are tight fitting and others fit good. If you buy clothes from a consignment shop which I have done alot recently, remember that the clothes have been washed, and therefore have probably shrunk so don't beat yourself up if you find that you take a larger size in consigned clothing.
At this point, the protein drinks I find to be way too sweet even though there is no sugar in them...how that is possible, I don't have a clue. I prefer plain water to water additives and sports drinks.
Emotionally it has been a little tougher than I thought. I have a difficult time accepting compliments graciously and I constantly wonder if there is some alterior motive attached to the complement. I also have a difficult time wearing clothes that fit me. I keep hiding behind bigger more comfortable clothes.
All in all, I am doing my best to stay healthy and stay on track.
I am greatful for the tool that my surgeon gave me and I try to use it to better my health and my life. So far....so good.