Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think.. Ahh, its not that bad, I look great! Other times I look in the mirror and think WOW... this is really bad! Even when I gave blood at my first visit with the surgeon the lady said "But you're not that big"

Maybe I hide it well? I don't know.. But I'm still sitting here with a BMI of 39, Diabetes that is getting more difficult to control without  insulin, hypercholesterolemia, sleep apnea, and chronic hip and knee pain.

I had thought about weight loss surgery 5 years ago, but I thought nah... I'm just not big enough. After a while that little voice just kept getting louder and louder.. "Yah.. you kinda are!"

Beyond the medical issues, I'm also a 40 year old single Mom and the dating world is brutal. I will always call my before pictures "Too fat for Hawaii" because of the most hurtful thing I ever experienced due to my weight. To make a very long story short a 2 year relationship ended when he received a free trip to Hawaii through work and decided to end things with me and post an ad on Craigslist for some hot eye candy to take on a free trip to Hawaii. Whew... took a while to heal from that one! And yes, I've healed, but I don't want to forget all of the negative things my body and mind have experienced from being overweight.

My first visit with the surgeon was February 22nd, and I'm crossing my fingers for a May surgery date.