Michelle_2975

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I do not know why I can't just get back ON TRACK AND STAY ON TRACK. Tomorrow once again I am going to try to get back on track. If I am not eating too much I am not eating enough. I wish that I could find a happy medium. My scale is reading 170-171 again. I feel like a pig most of the time. Some days I just cant stop eating. Some days I don't really eat at all. I do not have to go back to work until December 3rd, so
I AM going to get my shit together. I can't believe that I am wasting such a great opportunity. Since I have quit smoking it really has been hard. I am going to be cleaning out the kitchen tomorrow, I am going to bake some healthy snacks for when I Need a fix and going to make sure that I have many healthy options in the house. I don't really think that I have been eating too much (except for those PMS days) but I sure haven't been drinking enough. I do not feel dehydrated my pee is normal for me, but I probably only get in about 1300ml a day. Ibet if I could get that up I would drop more weight. tomorrow I am going to buy a sippy cup that holds 1500mm and I am going to make sure to drink one a day.

One a different note, today I bought a pair of junior skinny jeans from Stitches SIZE 9!!!!!!!!  Man I think I look hot in them. My ass actually looks small to me in them :)

Well, I ma tired and bitchy so I figure I should go to sleep. I worked midnights this weekend and I am quite fagged out.  Till next time.


Peace

Height:	feet   inches
Weight:	pounds

You have a BMI of 29.7.
This shows that you are moderately overweight.
Your BMI is not high enough to qualify you for bariatric surgery.
Holy! I can't believe it!

 

I think my stall has finally broken!!!!! I was staying at 171-172 for weeks, almost months but yesterday and the day before the scale read 169lbs and today it read 168lbs!! I hope that this is true and that the weight is going to start coming off again. I have 2 weeks of working midnights and when that is done I am going to start using my bike again and I am going to make a point of going to the gym.  I have been this weight for so long I am starting to feel like a fat ass again.  My next short term gaol weight is to be under 150lbs. That is only 20lbs away.

I did it, I quit smoking. It is day 3 and man I am so bitchy this time around. I had to stop taking the Champix. It was making my belly burn. But I am not going to smoke again. I do not want bleeding ulcers. On Thursday I smoked my last smoke in the afternoon and was thinking about going to buy another pack and I started googling pics and info on ulcers. Anytime now, if I get the urge to light one up I will just remember the images I saw. I am also still trying to take back control of my eating. I am getting better and better every day. I am not drinking while eating unless I feel like I am going to choke if something is too dry and I am following the 30 min rule. I have bought some rtd shakes and when I feel like grazing I grab a shake. I bought some pure protein shakes from walmart. They are only 100 cals, 1g of sugar and 2g of fiber. It is a nice change of pace. i also still use my powder but only 1 scoop per day. Between the both I am getting 50-55g of protein from my drinks. I have mostly been staying away from the sweets. I am not perfect but I am doing so much better. It is harder yet at the same time easier than I thought it would be. I am glad that the Halloween treats were all gone today at work. I made sure to go grocery shopping this week and buy meat , cheese, jerky etc. I am trying when I get the urge to have something sweet to have some bread and butter pickles. it is kinda doing the trick. I have been very lazy in my house work lately too. Everything keeps getting in the way. Lately I have been very upset that my husband doesn't help me. I have been getting very angry with him lately. I wish I didn't get so mad. I have been asking him to help me and he doesn't at all! this week I am going to clean up so well that when he comes home and drops his shit on the floor I am going to have it out with him big time!  I don't know if it is hormones or what but I have been so emotional lately. I don't want to leave the house but when I do I don't want to come home because so many things piss me off here. I can't even put it into words how I have been feeling. I got a major hair cut. It hasn't been this short since I was 8 years old. I think it is cute when it is done but it is high maintenance and I don't feel as pretty as I did when it was long. I know that it looks thicker and you cant tell that i have lost hair with it this way but I sure wish that every time I catch my reflection that I didn't have to look twice to see if it is really me.

I have now lost 99lbs from my heaviest recorded weight. I am happy that I am happy that I am slowly but surely getting there. It can be frustrating when I hear how people who have gotten their surgery after my have lost more weight than me. I know that I have sabotaged myself many times. I wish that I had more restrictions. I do not like that i am starting to be able to puke up stomach contents when I have eaten too much. I know that I just have to stop. I don't puke up everything but just enough to settle my stomach. I have only done it under a half dozen times. I am trying o relearn what is too much for me. For a while I could really eat lots but I know that I was eating the wrong stuff. Now I am trying to eat all proteins and not much else unless it is veggies but I cant eat as much protein as I could shit foods and have been over doing it some meals. I have to remember not to take that extra bite. It seems like people get into this program and they don't have struggles with the diet. I cant after eating like shit for 36 years to be able to over night change my ways. It is a daily challenge. Some days I fail miserably and some days I do really good. I do not have to go back to work until Thursday night (joy, midnights) do i am going to be very careful with what I eat and how much I eat. I work many midnights in the next 2 weeks :(. The only good thing about work is that I am not by my fridge and I do eat much better. Then after these dreaded midnights I almost have 2 weeks off work. I really want to start exercising again. I haven't really done it consistently since before my wedding. I have to start caring again. I am going to the states in May. It is far away but I would love to be at my second goal weight by then. It is only 30 more pounds. I would love to be 139 when I go. I am wanting to shop until I drop :)

i have been having some issues with one of my friends. Her attitude is changing towards me. I feel like I am so far away from being skinny yet I feel like sometimes she mocks me about it.  She even told me that I can't talk like a fat chick anymore. Please. I am always going to like food and just like her. I am going to have to deal with food addictions.  Just like her.

Well I guess I am done bitching about shit for now, 'Till next time...

Peace.