(See advice to newbies below this)


I'm going to get hammered for writing this but that has never stopped me before. ;o)  You know these people that eat pizza and tacos a few days after surgery and they come to the boards asking if they just messed up?  You know those people that pat them on the head, tell them it's okay, and to "try" to do better tomorrow?  Yeah, I'm not one of those people.  I tell them to knock it off, they are risking their band and why? For a lousy taco??  Are they serious?  I don't suggest they TRY to do better the next day, I tell them to DO better right now.

I think we often times don't give ourselves enough credit.  We think we are weak willed and powerless over the world.  That simply isn't true.  We have been living a life of fat for many years.  You tell me the weak willed and powerless can do that, I won't believe you.  Being fat in today's society is no easy task.  It's really damned hard.  Yet we survive it and if we can survive that, we can survive passing up a donut.  Let's face it, it is much easier to pass up a donut than it is to have to buy two airlines seats because our butts are too big for one seat.  It's much easier to pass up a single donut than it is to face ourselves in the mirror of Lane Giant after realizing we are yet... a bigger size than the last time we were there.  We face humiliation and embarrassment every single day just due to our size.  I think sometimes we tend to get used to it and forget that humiliation and embarrassment are NOT normal and a part of life.  We also pretend it does not hurt as much as it does.

I'm not trying to be a skank about this but you know, WLS is our last shot at WL.  This is a big deal, we have choices and too many times we are all making the wrong ones.  I don't eat a lot of junk because I don't need it.  Neither do you.  I disagree with those that say ANYTHING in moderation is okay.  The reason I disagree is because ALL of us did not get fat because we can do moderation well.  With a band or any WLS our caloric intake is cut drastically and we need every calorie for food we actually need and use.  The only thing cake, pasta, or crap food will do for your body is make it more plump.

This is a lifestyle change and a lifestyle change does not mean eating the same load of crap but just less of it, that means overhauling your diet and eating food that your body needs and does something positive for it.  What "value" does Chocolate cake have for your body?

So does this mean that you can never have a piece of birthday cake again?  Of course not.  It means that eating junk on a regular basis serves no value.  We don't know what moderation is so we have to go searching for it.  Moderation does not mean limiting ourselves to crap food just one time daily or one time weekly, it means more along the lines of on birthdays, special occasions.  When we "plan" on eating junk weekly, what does that make our thinking?  That means we are *still* planning our lives around food and poor choices.  Thin people don't set out to plan on when they will eat a load of crap, they don't even think about it until the birthday party or social meeting is there staring them in the face.  Yet we fatties actually plan a date and time to eat bad food.  See the difference in thinking between a fat person and a normal size person?

The lifestyle change is not planning on WHEN we will have loads of crap food, lifestyle change means actually going out there and living what we claim we want.  Life as a normal size person.

If you can face the humiliation of being obese in society, can you honestly sit there and tell yourself that passing up junk food is harder than being the fat girl walking into a room where being MO is socially unacceptable?  I mean, I think there comes a time when we have to put things in their proper perspective and this is one of those times.  Next time you want junk food get real and get honest with yourself.  Get a photo of that food item and a photo of a person that is the size you want to be.  Which do you want more, do you want the cake more than you want to be thin and healthy?  Be verrry honest with yourself.  If you prefer the cake over thin then just go for it and have the darn band removed.  But I'll bet you'd rather have thin over a piece of cake when you really get honest with yourself.  It's all about perspective and self awareness of what you want out of this life.  We have a choice, and it IS a choice.  We can be fat or we can be thin.  With a band thin IS within grasp.

The thing about us fat folks is that traditional diet and exercise is too hard, we just can't do it.  We cannot lose and maintain at a normal size weight.  Call it a lack of self control, call it anything you want.  I'll cop to it, I'll be one to stand right up there and admit that I can't do it.  But with a band it is still hard but it is the kind of hard WE can do, OUR population.  Losing weight with a band is the kind of hard we can do but without a band, nope... we can't do it.

Sometimes, maybe often times, maybe 20x a day when we are justifying more grazing behaviors and opening the frig to see what unnecessary food is in there, there comes a time when you just have to tell yourself no.  We tell our children "no" daily.  No, you can't play with razor blades in the middle of a busy street.  No, you can't eat rat poison.  No, you can't fail to look both ways when crossing a street.  No, you can't do drugs.  No, you can't go out with that drug abuser who just got out of juvvy.  Sometimes we have to tell ourselves no as well.

If you are like me, not sure you are, but if you are like me I can't stop at one Frito, or one bite of this or that.  For me it is all or none.  If I eat white carbs I can't quit.  I lose self control.  If I stay away from them completely I have no problem.  The more I eat the more I crave.  I am a person that wanted bread so bad about 3 months after banding I actually broke into the bread crumbs I use for cooking and ate the whole can.  Then I started in on dry stuffing mix.  It wasn't even something that tasted good (pretty rank, actually) but I couldn't stand the carb cravings anymore.  That was my moment when I realized when and how I lose self control.  So I avoid those situations.

You can come over to my house right now and look through my house.  You won't find any flour, pasta, bread, Fritos, or other foods that are my triggers.  There are no bread crumbs, stuffing mix, cake mixes, cookie mixes... none of it.  I don't even keep it in the house.  There is not a person that has ever once been in my home that even needs those foods.  My husband doesn't need them and he doesn't get them if he is here.  Why would your family NEED cakes, cookies, etc?  We are not punishing our family members by denying them food habits WE have, it really is okay if you don't load your cupboards full of crap your kids do not need.  I think that is another mindset we have to change.  I've seen people post on these very boards that they can't pass up the cookies in the cupboard but they can't punish their children by not having cookies in the house.  Since when it is a punishment to decline to feed a growing child cookies to the point you can't have a day without them in your home?

Exercise... you know, we have physical and emotional reasons for overeating.  Those issues we have to overcome and find ways to deal with them.  But exercise?  Nahhh, we have no excuse.  That is just plain lazy behavior.  You don't like exercise?  Neither do I.  But it's like cleaning the toilet.  Who DOES like to do it?  We do it because we have to.  It's just a responsibility.  We are all great at justifying eating too much and not exercising but the reality comes down to sheer lazy behaviors.  If you can't run then power walk.  If you can't power walk then walk.  If you can't walk then do chair exercises.  We have the energy to get up and run to the frig 20 times a day yet we can't find the time nor the motivation to do the SAME walking outside and away from food.  How does that work? ;o)

There are people who LOVE exercise, zog bless their little hearts!  It's like a transfer addiction.  They go from eating to exercising.  They love it.  Personally, I think they are sick and twisted human beings. ;o)  I exercise but I hate it.  Never have enjoyed it, not even a little.  The person who invented weight resistance cannot possibly be anything but a lover of S&M.  They should be shot.  But you know what?  It really really works.  The motivation for me was not busting my butt on a treadmill when I would have much preferred doing my nails.  The motivation was that the more I exercised the more weight I lost.  THAT was my addiction, losing weight and getting thin.  The more you lose the more motivation you get.

What if you do this, just for ONE week... one week only.  Cut out ALL white carbs.  Yep, you'll be climbing the walls, you'll be dealing with head hunger full force.  Every single TV commercial for food will be calling your name.  You'll cus and swear at me and everyone else that is around you in real time or the boards.  Start exercising.  Even ten minutes of brisk walking.  Work up a sweat, bust your butt.  Just 10 minutes.  That's nothing, that is the same as a couple of TV commercials.  That is about the same amount of time to read a single thread on OH.  Just take 10 simple minutes and go out for a hard walk.  Then you are done exercising for the day.  Honestly, 10 minutes is NOTHING.  We have 144 10 minute blocks in a day, it really is nothing.

Then tomorrow do 11 minutes.  And yes, time it from the time your walk is a brisk one, not when you start thinking it's time to go outside for your walk.  When your pace is up to brisk then start timing.  Daily add a single minute to it.  Push yourself to do better each day, just a single minute added.

So for a week eat what you want, don't count calories, don't count fat grams.  Don't worry about calories in the least.  Eat what you want but do limit WHITE carbs to 20 a day.  I'm just talking for a week.  Do the 10 minutes of exercise while adding one minute daily.  See what that does for you.  You want 20 chicken breasts?  Eat them.  You want zucchini, yellow squash, any other carbs except fruit?  Eat them.  Lots of them.  Don't even count carbs from veggies.  Just count white carbs and limit those drastically to 20gms daily.  The idea here is not to get you into ketosis, the idea is to get you eating the right carbs.  Have unlimited VEGGIE carbs.  You'll poop like a champ too. ;o)

I'll bet you that you lose weight.

Then as the motivation kicks in and the stomach hunger dies down you will be able to cut those 20 chicken breasts down to 10.  Then 5, then 1 daily.  Understand what is head hunger and what is true stomach hunger.  Just focus on white carbs and minimal exercise.  I'll bet you it works.

If you can live the life and frustration as a fat person, you can do this.  Being fat is MUCH harder than better food choices.  Again, it's all perspective. 

What about your fill level?  Are you at good restricton?  If not, get thy butt to the doc and take care of it.

There, that's yer' butt kicking. ;o)  Just remember, you CAN do this, you have survived much much harder as a fat person and you have survived a life that is no walk in the park.  If you can survive fat life you can easily survive the above plan for the next week.

And BTW, this means start the whole plan tomorrow, not on Sunday at the beginning of the week.  If you have already eaten a load of carbs today you will be hungry for the rest of the day.  It's a blood sugar thing.  So start tomorrow and keep remembering, you can do this.

Good luck to you!

People have been after me for a long time to add a profile. I didn't really journal my experiences during the weight loss phase, but I think I am going to write down information for newbies. I'm going to copy/paste/edit info I have written before in hopes that it will ease some fears and concerns we ALL have before and during weight loss. Much editing needs to be done on this so understand, this is a work in progress. I'm not done, there are typos, etc.

My first thought is for newbies that just had surgery. If you haven't reached the point of regretting the fact that you had surgery, just know you will. If you are a normal, typical, average WLS patient you will very likely go through a phase where you regret having the surgery. You ask yourself what the heck you just did to your body!

Just know, this is common. It WILL pass! Give yourself time, most of us feel that way and it usually happens right after surgery and might last for several weeks. But it will pass. Give it time.

The following is something I wrote to a person struggling with weight loss and are my own random thoughts:

There are a lot of head games that go with weight loss surgery. We are accustomed to large quantities of food, and the type of food that does not work well for weight loss. I was the fast food queen, ate it twice daily every single day. Burgers, onion rings, tons of diet soda, the works. I ate so much fast food that my band will pay for itself in fast food savings and soda savings in 1.5 years. Isn't that horrible? I'm talking $7800 for the cost of my band!

You know those reformed smokers? They smoked like a chimney for years and when they quit the rest of the world must quit? They suddenly claim to be "allergic" to smoke? They are rude, insulting, obnoxious, and believe they are doing a good thing? That's the way I am about fast food. I am a reformed fast food junkie. I don't think many had a diet as horrible as mine before banding. One can be obese and malnourished at the same time and that is probably a good way to explain my own pre-band eating habits. It was that bad.

I explain this so you know I fully understand food issues. BTDT a million times over.

Some people seem to struggle with white carbs such as bread and pasta (me) and others seem to struggle with sugar and sweets. Those are the big ones. Some struggle with alcohol but I'm not sure that is primarily a WLS issue but more an alcohol issue that gets in the way of weight loss. Some claim to eat mostly veggies and they just don't know why they are obese. Is there a better example of denial than that? ;o)

Having WLS does take much of the joy out of eating. I don't think it matters which procedure you have, much of the joy is taken out of food. The non stop chewing, small quantities, food limitations, the works. In many ways I think that is a good thing. It's the joy of eating that got us fat. We can't imagine a time when we would ever prefer not to eat because it is unfathomable to comprehend that food might not be as fun someday. We can't comprehend that it might not fill a need somewhere. The need to inhale food - large quantities of food. We like the taste, the texture, the full feeling... we like it all. We eat until we experience extreme discomfort from eating so much yet we want to continue doing it. Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? Another obese person would understand this but a thin person would think we are crazy. I don't know, maybe we are crazy but you know what? It is what it is.

When you have any weight loss surgery (bypass, band, sleeve, whatever) it takes much of the joy out, what we are used to. We are used to inhaling anything we want. We are used to that Chocolate cake calling our name and we have to wait until we can stuff another bite down before we can inhale that too. We are like a food vacuum cleaner, we suck it ALL up.

After surgery you realize you can't do that anymore and it's frustrating. You see and you want to eat it but you know there isn't a chance in the world it is going to go down. Think about it, when you were pre-surgery and dieting when you grew sick of the diet you could cheat. WLS doesn't permit you to cheat in the same way and with the same quantity of foods and it gets old in a hurry. This is the time to continue reminding yourself that this is a lifestyle change. This is it, we are here, living it, choices have been taken from us. We intentionally took our own choices away from ourselves because we couldn't achieve goals without it. Food choices, our choice in eating habits, it's gone. Never to return. That's one if the biggest head issues we have to deal with. There is no turning back.

I think it's kinda typical to start eating around the surgery during these times so you feel as though you have control over the procedure vs. the feeling that the surgical procedure has control over you. You have to get to a point that you accept it isn't a control issue but a tool that you need to lose weight. You can fight it, but it isn't going to work. But you know what? We try anyway. Then comes more frustration. I think this is the point that we need to give ourselves a reality check. We all have to accept that this is it, do it or don't. Most accept it and move on with weight loss and a small minority do not. My best friend is a prime example. She eats her 800 calories a day in good food and a whopping 3000 calories a day in Chocolate.

If you are not losing weight I suspect you are going through a phase where you are sick of dealing with weight loss, you are sick of chewing chicken to a liquid, you are sick of it all and I think those phases are normal. Let's face it, it's a great deal more fun to maintain weight vs. losing weight. That's why I wanted it over with in a hurry and kept calories at 600 daily and busted my butt doing hard cardio daily. And no, Dr. Aceves did not approve of my caloric methods but I wanted the fat chapter closed once and for all. I was sick of a battle all the time of losing weight. I felt like I was fighting the world and in reality, I wasn't. I was fighting the lifestyle change. When I accepted that this is my new world, my new reality... I was able to move on and get it done.

Have you noticed that your world revolved around food a lot more pre-surgery than it does now? Now you have days where you put off consuming food because it is a chore. Did you ever put off consuming food pre-surgery? I don't think this is a bad thing. Pre-surgery we can't comprehend the thought that food will not rule our lives. Our world revolves around food. We eat breakfast and while we are eating it we wonder what we'll have for lunch. When we eat lunch we think about what is in the freezer for dinner. When someone mentions the name of a restaurant we immediately have a vision of the menu and know full well what we will order and it will be the largest portion sizes on the menu in all likelihood.

Have you ever been asked to go to dinner with someone and you didn't want to eat your usual portions in front of others so you eat before you leave the house so you can pretend to eat small portions while dining in front of others? Ever go to a fast food restaurant and pretend you are ordering for more than one person? In reality, it's all for you. Food ruled our lives pre-surgery. Post-surgery we wonder what we should be doing with all the extra time where we are no longer consumed with food issues.

Not sure if any of that resonates with you, but I think bits and pieces might.

Wine... I think you'll find many experienced WLS folks say that if they drink alcohol it will stall weight loss a great deal. It shouldn't, the calories are incorporated in your daily count but it still stalls weight loss. At least it does for me. I don't drink much now that I'm at goal. It hits me too hard, too fast, and even with just one glass of wine I'm not at my best the next day. But that's me, not everyone is the same. But again, I think you'll find many experienced WLS folks saying alcohol stalls weight loss every single time. And let's be frank here, if you are in the weight loss mode you do not need or require a couple of glasses of wine a few times a week. We are only permitted limited calories daily. If you drink a couple of glasses of wine you either are going over in calories or you are not getting good foods in. Either way it simply isn't good.

Are you eating soft foods? Liquid calories? Cottage cheese and creamed soups? Congrats to you for getting protein in, but it's the wrong kind of protein for your surgery type. I know it is easier to get cream of chicken soup down vs. solid chicken, but you know what? This is the game we signed up for. This is the lifestyle we paid a lot of money to obtain. So change from soft foods and liquid calories and get back on track. A half cup of roasted chicken is going to have fewer calories than the two cups of cream of chicken soup you are consuming now.

Are you cooking your own chicken? Are you cooking it so long it is dry and hard to eat? Or is chicken just not workable with your band? Try going to the grocery store and buy a roasted chicken. Eat a small piece and see if it goes down better than what you make. If it does it might be that you are overcooking your chicken and it's simply too dry. Canned chicken soup has some of the most overcooked meat around and even cream of chicken has pieces of solids in it. If you can get that down, you can get roasted chicken down.

If you are eating the right foods and have appropriate restriction you really shouldn't need snacks. That quickly become habit and if you snack too much you mess with your 800 calories (or whatever your doc suggests) daily that you are allowed. Then you don't get the appropriate quantity of food necessary for meals and you will be hungry sooner.

Ice cream... hello? Need I go further with that one? ;o)

How are your teeth? Are they in good condition? It's a serious question and quite important. One thing I don't think many realize is that if your teeth are not in super great condition you may not be able to chew the bandster/sleeve/bypass way. If your teeth need work, get it done.

Are you tracking calories? Many times it's easy to put off tracking calories if you are eating ice cream and wine. Seriously, we don't always want to know the number of calories we are consuming. Then we'd have to be honest with ourselves and that can easily be a hard pill to swallow. If someone is losing well and feeling good there is little reason to track protein and calories. But if weight loss stalls it's time to take a long hard look at what is going in our mouths. A few ways to do that are to run anything you are not absolutely positive of through:

www.nutritiondata.com

It will give you a very complete food label for any food item or total recipe.

Then track that information on:

www.thedailyplate.com

or...

www.fitday.com

or...

www.sparkpeople.com

See what is actually going in your mouth on a daily basis. Be honest, nobody will see it but you.

So cut out the wine, ice cream, and candy bars. Make this new lifestyle a habit you prefer and amazingly, that really does happen over time. Your tastes change and you prefer the good stuff. You look at ice cream and think that sounds so good. Today after almost 15 months of banding I think the SAME thing about a salad. Crazy... I know. But it does happen. Bump up your exercise. We have biological and emotional reasons for overeating, we have no excuse for not exercising. None.

Change the liquid calories and soft foods to solid proteins. When the scale starts moving like crazy you will find all kinds MORE motivation. Buy new clothes that actually fit vs. hanging off your body. That is very motivating as well. You can do this, but you have to do your part. No more excuses. Accept this is your lifestyle and use it to your advantage.

Good luck!