I added 2 pics from my TT surgery onthe 29th of April, I am still sore, but it was well worth it. I am at home & I am resting. I will write more when I feel up to it. 

I was taking measuremetns for clothes & measured my hips 36"  then I measured my waist 28" (HOLY MOTHER OF GOD 28 INCHES) I don't remember my waist being that small since like 10th grade or something.  Chest measured 34" ( not as impressive but I am OK with that.) Substance would be nice in the chest region, but I am still happy with what I have... atleast its better than the E cup I used to be YIKES.
Anyhow thats my "HOLY GOD" moment. 
 

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2-3-06
I got some info about my short term disability today, I have to take 4 hours regular leave time to keep my insurance up, but thats nothing. I have found replacements for most of my clients for my time off, I have two days (4 clients) to still find coverage for. I am consumed with this right now so anyone reading this will have to forgive me...LOL
I have a paper to send to Dr. Kams office to fill out for the Short term disability, so I will have to fill that out monday morning. I have been feeling very strange about more people knowing about the surgery now. I kinda wish I had not told as many people as I did. I am feeling weird about even asking for the time off really. A cousin of my husbands emailed him the other day saying "she heard a rumor, I was having my stomach stapled" I took it as she was saying what a bad thing it was, like it was gossip or something. Not really sure why it irritated me, but it did. The girl kinda makes me wonder sometimes too. Bad news...My husband is thinking he may be on a job when the surgery is scheduled, so I will prolly have to have someone else bring me. I am not sure if the hospital is going to require someone be there at all times, but I am thinking they are gonna want someone there for atleast the day of surgery. I wish he coudl be there but I also like our bills to be paid...lol I don't know, I guess I will have to wait and see. I am starting to wonder if I am the only one that thinks about dieing from this surgery, and how to prepare children for that possiblity. I really am scared that I will miss so much of my sons life from this surgery and the fact that I just got married last september, I will miss a lot of good times with my husband. BUT, then again I might miss it from all the health issues related to why I am actually doing this. I am positive I am not the only one thinking all of these things, it just kinda overwhelmed me today for some reason. There are a lot of things all going on at once and I think that the surgery might even be like a vacation for me...lol. We are selling our house right now too, which is a lot of stress too. We took it off the market for a while then after christmas put it back on. It seems like I need to "empty my plate" SO TO SPEAK...LMAO gotta run, got company.........

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2-5-06
I took my measuremnts today. I can't find anything to chart them on though, so I am just going to type them in as my starting measurements. I did something today that I was kinda proud of myself for...I threw away food from by bowl at lunch, and again at dinner. I actually was just not hungry anymore. I don't really feel full a lot of the time so this was a good day for me. I am very worried about having hanging skin lately. I am wondering if losing more weight before the suegery will help. Who am I kidding though, I struggle every day with the weight gain & loss, why would it be any different now. Maybe I can use it to motivate me though. I really don't want to be one of those people with the belly down to my knees. I don't mean that to be rude either, I just don't want that to be me. I do know about weight struggles and I am not putting anyone down for there weight problems, I just know what is best for me. My belly already hangs over, this has been this way since I gave birth 13 yrs ago. I HATE IT!!! It actually grosses me out somedays. I hate my husband seeing me without clothes on and I feel it effects our intamacy (for me) well enough about me for now. Super Bowl is on so I am gonna run....
P.S. I just added a link to my wedding photos, I can't seem to figure out the whole picture thing on here. Anyway, I was looking at them and the weight really showed bad in the pics of us cutting the cake...WOW, bad!

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2-8-06
I turned in my Leave request today, I have gotten coverage for all but my fridays clients, I have 2 that day...try to get people to work a friday if they don't have to...lol. Kinda like pulling teeth. I feel like I have prepared pretty well so far, but what I am afraid of is that I should have more stuff for at home for recovery, but I guess that I don't need much as far as foods go, won't be eating. I just hate being unprepared as I am sure you have read if you have read this far. Maybe a bit obsessive, but I hate being rushed to do things last minute especially if they were preventable situations. My main concern is meds or vitamins. That kind of stuff I have no idea what to get as of yet. OR, if I should be taking them prior to surgery. I took arnica montana & bromeline when I had my breast reduction, it helped with swelling and bruising. I was actually quite impressed with it. AND very tiny pills, so I am wondering if this is something I could try again. I will have to ask Dr. Kam. Not that I am concerned with the bruising but swelling yes, I had read on a few posts that some people are miserable from the swelling. I am more curious if the swelling is from the air they have to fill you with to do it lapro or if it is just from the surgery itself. Still haven't heard if my husband can come with me for the surgery or if I am gonna be stuck finding someone else. I am praying that he can be with me. I really would like him there. I think it would ease some tension. We started having a conversation again the other night about my wishes if somethnig were to happen to me but it turned out to be more uncomfortable for him than anything. He is one of those people that jokes when they are nervous or scared...so it kinda irritated me, since my son was also in the conversation. I asked my husband jokingly if he would miss me at all...my son piped right up and said "I WILL" Talk about breaking your heart. I love my son so much and that just made me tear up. I started writing him a letter (just in case) but the weird thing is, I can't seem to think of many things to say. I keep thinking that I need to say more. Who knows, maybe I have already covered it in what I already have. It just never seems like enough. Maybe thats a parenting thing...you want your kids to have everything you can give them and would do anything to make sure their lives are fofilled to the utmost. I just want him to know I Love him & I am very proud of him. Who knows, maybe I am stressing. There are some pics of him on the site that I put on here to view our wedding pics. Well I am done stressing for now, I need to not think about all this for a little bit. I think I am over analizing everything.

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2-11-06
I put another pic on here today. The one with Jake and Larry at the silverdome. I guess I am using it as my "reason" for having this surgery. I was so tired and sore from all of the walking, I was out of breath from all of the stairs and in general a real crab. I sucked it up and walked it off, but I was not a happy camper. I thoroughly enjoyed the time with them, but not the hassle of me being so fat. I hated that part. Gotta run, just had to add that.

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2-23-06
I have been reading more post on the message board lately. I think I am learning a lot from all the other people that have posted here. I am freaking out more as the time gets closer. I have talked to BTC and they have agreed to accept the $600 instead of seven hundred for pre op admissions. I missed 4 days of work from all the snow so my check was not nearly what I thought it was going to be. Unfortunately we are still kinda going from paycheck to paycheck so I am stressing a little. Hubby is gone right now at an update class for a work saftey, so I am getting some cleaning and furniture moving done. For some reason I just don't get the deep cleaning or things like that done when he is home. Same goes for my son. I am starting to think that most of my time is consumed with doing things for them, and slacking on the other stuff...LOL I also wondered about the alarm this morning too... I normally hit the snooze for about an hour LITERALLY. And this morning I hit it twice, got right up, got dressed, and did some more cleaning. WEIRD... I think I have been exausting myself doing stuff for them. NOT THAT I MIND!!!!!! I love them VERY much, and I would do ANYTHING for them. Just discovering weird things as they are both out of the house. Wow, I say some pretty off the wall stuff on here...lol
MY weight seems to be staying the same or bouncing back and forth, NEVER going down though. Its getting quite frustrating. I am drinking atleast 70 oz. of water and usually about 100 oz. I seem to have made the transition from pop to water or crystal light pretty easy. I will admit a mountain dew sometimes sounds good, but I do remember the Sweetness and I do think it might be too sweet now. I thought that the pop thing was going to be really hard for me. Smoking is still driving me insane. I think that if I was allowed 4 per day I would be able to survive the whole thing. Or even one. I have a hard time when I see my hubby smoking or our company smoking. I am struggling alot with this. Something else I was wondering about... when you are getting second hand smoke, does that go into your bloodstream or does it only effect your lungs? Curious.... hmm. I am also walking with my clients on Monday, Tuesday, (water walking)Wednesday, Thursday & Friday. So I would think that I would be losing some weight, but NOOOOOO....LOL Well I just wanted to post my insane thoughts for today and say I am freaking out more since its getting closer.

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2-26-06
I weighed myself after getting out of the shower today and I was at 230. Now heres the deal, I was naked, so do I add the weight of the clothes...lol If I had my way I would always take the lower number. I think that I am at the 232 I have been at. I just thought that it was funny how I always make a point of subtracting like 2 or 3 pounds when I am weighed with clothes on, so I had to make a funny about doing just the opposite. One time I was in the doctors office and it was taking forever for the doc and I was bored so I decided to weigh my shoes to see how much more I could subtract...well I had some chunky soled shoes on and the dang things weighed 3 pounds...woo...hoo 3 more pounds to subtract. I am know...I am a dork! But if you are anything like me I find any way possible to deduct weight from what I have been told I actually weigh. I got a nice compliment from my hubby the other day, may not have been a compliment to him, but he said he can see a difference in my energy and the way Imove around the house quicker. He said he has noticed it more since I have been walking and doing things more healthy like. My dad and I were talking last night about the surgery and I was telling him things about it. We got on the subject of diet afterward and how he thought he might miss certain foods or the portion sizes, but the I told him... you already did all of that when you found out you were diabetic. I also said it was more psychological when it came to the portion sizes (for me anyway) He understood a little more and then said... but if you can follow a regimen now, why have the surgery. I told him my reason was that I can't get passed a certain weight and then when I am am stuck I get weak again. I think it is so psychological for me that if I have the push or help to get past that stupid 200 mark I could get to a more managable goal.
I am sure I am not the only one that gets to a certain weight and just CANNOT get any lower. That is me in a nut shell. I just need that helping hand from the surgery to get past that hurdle. I think I eased my dads mind more about me having it, but then again he has already been listening to the process from his girlfriends daughter, so he knew a lot already and is not against it like my mom is. truthfully I believe that my mom is jealous that she cannot have it herself. My mom is a "one upper" If you did it she did it better kind of person. Well this is one thing in my life she cannot "one up" me on. As you may see, my mother and I are at odds on this. She always tells me I need to lose weight, and went as far as not letting me eat at thanksgiving dinner one year...but now, when I actually have a chance at losing the weight, she is a royal bitch about it. I just think that she will have one less thing to complain about and her perfect bitchfest will end and she won't know what to do. LOL wow... I am not happy with her. LOL. My mom wasn't around much when I was younger so I don't have the relationship that most women might have. My dad raised my sister and I from the time I was 10 and prior to that he would pick up the slack when ever my mom decided parenting wasn't for her. They divorced when I was 7 and for the next 3 yrs it was like a pin ball game, bouncing back and forth. I am SO happy that my dad took on that responsibility, most dads don't. Anyway....I could go on for days, but its not important. I have 24 days til my surgery. HOLLY GOD!!! It just hit me. Wow, thats not far away. I have to run....more later

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3-2-06
I HATE THE SCALE AT WORK!!!!!! I weighed myself at work today and the stupid piece of crap said 240. What in the helllllll. I weighed myself at home, 235.... I like home! God I was stressed most of the afternoon after that. I won't be weighing myself at work anymore. I am so worried about gaining weight, I want the Lap SOOOO bad and I keep thinking if I can't get it down I am gonna have to have it Open. I just can't get it down. I haev changed my habbits as best as I can. But nothing is changing in appearance or weight. My energy and all is WAY better since I ahve been walking and drinking my water and watching what I eat. I know I am doing ten times better than I was, but I am not seeing results. Kinda makes me mad. Anyway. I had to vent.

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3-9-06
I went for PAT's Monday... I guess I freaked out a bit about the ABG test. I didn't have to have it, only the usually 5 viles of blood. It all moved so fast. I went in had blood taken, then was taked right over to get weighed which was hilarious, the nurse said 134 pounds went I got on the scale... Needless to say I freaked and said "WHAT" She laughed and said Oh I mean 234. Bad part was I had gained 2 pounds, but in my defense it was the last day of my period so I am not stressing over it. Then she took all my vitals and off I went to Xray for the chest xray...then immediately to ultrasound. No Stones...YAY. Then back in to the room for a hundred questions, then the Dr. came in and gave me a 100 more questions & an exam. Then respitory came in and game me my new toy & some breathign tests & some exercises to do before surgery. I Got my "bible" Which I find very helpful so far. Kinda overwhelming to. I got to try a bunch of protein drinks to see which I like. I hate the Anywhey stuff. It horrid. Barix has a bunch of good ones, but thanks to Jennifer I found the same exact thing on amazon.com. Just a bit cheaper is all. I didn't get to see Jennifer at the hospital, but I got to meet her husband in the waiting room. I got to talk to her later that night, the next day and again last night once she was at home. May sound silly but every time I talk to her I feel a bit more at ease. She has been honst with me about the surgery so far, and I really appreciate that. I got to talk to Monique too, which was a really good help, since she is a Success as far as I am concerned. She is very knowledgable about the procedure too. I guess I am just more at ease and that has been helping. Just wish the money situation would go away so I could relax more. I am praying that Larry gets on a job soon. I am having such a hard time being the only one working. Money is SO tight. Anyway, Jacob left for his dads last night, and is leaving today for South Carolina for spring break with gramma & grampa. I hope he has fun. He just did a contest thru our optimist club on public speaking. I personally thought he did really well for his first time out. I can see why the kids that won, Did win. But then again I thought there speeches were boring... NOT because of my kid either. The speeches were boring really. I think that my son got a fair deal. I think that he had fun too, thats whats important. I will be getting a picture of us there from his teacher so I can show you what I looked like 15 days prior to surgery and how tall my lil man is. LOL

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3-15-05
Well I have one week left til my surgery. I have been looking for all the stuff I think I will need I was on this hunt for Pro Stat today. I want the butter pecan one BAD!!! I love hazel nut and butter pecan type of flavors so I MUST have this protein supplement. LOL I am getting excited and nervous, more nervous that I haven't covered all of my bases at home. I have been working for 21 days straight with NO days off. I am actually looking forward to surgery for the days off work actually. Sad to say, but true. I will have worked 27 days straight by the time I leave for surgery. I broke down yesterday and cried about that. I told my husband that I needed a break and I needed him to be back to work soon so I could breath again.... I know its not his fault the places are all layed off, but I do wish he had a second job to go to. Or would look for another to get us by so everything wasn't all on me. I am about broke 8 out of 10 days, the other 2 days I get paid or child support comes...lmao
Anyway, I love my husband & I Love my job...but damn it I need some R & R . Well I will try to write again before surgery day, but I am sure things are gonna get really busy around her so we'll see.

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3-16-06
Jake hasn't called all week I am kinda bummed. My surgery is in 6 days and he has been with his grampa & gramma since the 9th. I am feeling weird about seeing him on monday after school then tuesday til bed time then the next day I will be gone by the time he gets up for school. I am really bugged that I won't see him more before I go. I know he has to be having fun, cuz he hasn't called or wrote at all. I just miss him & I am sure that I will get more moody as the date gets closer. I want my baby home though...lol
I gotta get to bed, I have to be up early again. I am fillign in for another person again at work. G'nite.............

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4-24-06
Well I am a month and 2 days out. I have been really busy trying to stick to the rules. I have found that getting enough water is REALLY hard. I feel like I can never get enough in...kinda like there aren't enough hours in the day. I feel like I am either eating or drinking from the time I wake up, until the time I go to bed. I am not disapointed AT ALL that I had the surgery. I feel like it has forced me to follow a set of rules that I would have never had the will power to do without the new tool I have been given. I started on B12 & iron pills about a week ago, due to my period exausting me. I have noticed that also, my period is on its 7th day and it is much more painful. I hope this is not permanent. I have only had one day where I thought I was going to throw up, but didn't. I am not sure what brought it on either. My eating and drinking had been the same as any other day so no real explanation for the icky feeling. I had one other realization about eating too. It's hard to eat on the road!!! I had weighed myself before work on Friday and when I got home from work I was preparing to make dinner and we had to leave immediately to take my hubby to a job about 2 hours away. I grabbed some crackers and a protein bar & left, thinking I would be able to eat somewhere along the way or not be gone so long that I couldn't eat when I got home. Welllllll, I had a rough time, got lost, no restraunts around, very draining mentally.... Not enough snacks to keep me going... By the time I got back home I was pale & tired and sick to my stomach. I weighed myself the following morning (since I am on my period I am watching water gain) I weighed 5 pounds less than the morning before. It scared me to say the least. I knew I hadn't had an easy go of things the day before, so I got back on track and everything I put into my mouth was protein that day. I started getting serious about where I could eat out at that day. But its not easy, you have to be very aware of everything you put into your mouth. It is certainly easier at home to stay on track. Eating out is much harder. I am still trying to find something to eat at pizza hut. I have clients that chose to go there for lunches and I can't find anything that fits totally into my plan.
I really DO NOT regret the surgery. I am just saying I am taking things WAY more serious that I though I would. I started out in January at 239. Then at Pre-op I weighed 234. then the day of surgery I weighed 231. Today I weigh 201. So I know i am doing somethnig right. I have been getting in 3 miles of walking 3 times a week then my hubby and I are bike riding. He has been really good about all of this, but now that he will be gone for the 3-5 weeks, he jokes and says he won't recognize me by the time he gets home. Maybe not, when he left I was 208, now at 201(7 lbs in 3 days) its coming off quick, but from what I understand the second month is the fast losing time. We will see though. I was on the lightweight side of things and I have been told that the more you have to lose the faster it seems to come off, the lesser it takes longer. I will take whatever though. I know I couldn't walk 3 miles before in one session so I am getting healthier. I will try to post more when I have time. We are setting up for our garage sale. Tis the season......