From the Alcoholic, Ex BF

You have no idea...
...how much I miss you; your look; your touch; your affection; going for matzo soup @ 2 in the morning; smelling the ocean; Malibu Cove; our first date; etc etc. I'm a total shit, but I know what I love. Its damned few things, but you're a part of almost all of them. Not worth much, but its true.


Wow...hmmm....ok, now what?

Obese
40.0 - 50	Extremely Obese
over 50	Super Obese

My BMI is 39.8. I am officially OBESE. I'm not SUPER Obese or EXTREMELY Obese. I'm just OBESE! Can't wait until I'm plain, old overweight.

13 more pounds and i will weigh LESS than my ex-husband! He's hating that right now! hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That gives me such pleasure!

Speaking of pleasure...My Semi-BF came over last night and we had a very good time! I guess SOMEONE around here made him realize that it wasn't the sex that was lousy- it was his choice of partners! So there you go!

We ran some errands this morning and then came back and watched the Angels game until we both had to go to work. I love a lazy afternoon of just laying around in the AIR CONDITIONING on my GIANT bed, watching the game. It was almost PAINFUL to come to work and leave him. 

Believe it or not- I do love him but I wish that I loved him more passionately. I mean, I would walk to the ends of the Earth for Alcoholic, Ex-BF but for Robbie- I don't know.

He still says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't know if I want a "life sentence." I guess we'll see...

I have become very disenchanted with this site. A few people have been a bit rude to me and though I have let it roll off my back, I think I prefer just lurking to participating.

I have also tried to stay off because I see how many people are losing more weight then I am and I get discouraged. I'm doing ok I guess but I feel that I should be down a lot more than I am at this point.

I'm 236 lbs.- a size 18 and am very happy that Im not in the size 20's and 30's. I wish I was closer to the 100's at this point but I'll take any weight loss right now!

I've actually switch up my diet a bit... I do 2-3 protein drinks and then do a meal and a salad or fruit of some kind. If I want sugar, I definately do a fruit AND I stick with water based fruits like melon. The only carbs I'm eating are the occasional oatmeal or grits with added protein, a little bit of mashed or sweet potato or a high fiber cracker or two.

I threw my back out so exercise is at a stand still and I've been so tired that sometimes I can't get out of bed until I have to take a shower to go to work.

All and all, I'm doing ok but wish I was doing better...I'm trying to give myself a "kick in the ass pep talk" and hope to get out of this funk soon.

On a good note: I bought a pink heavy bag and pink boxing gloves and will start training on the heavy bag as soon as my back stops killing me!

Dec 2006                             Nov 2007


March 2008                             May 2008

Whoa! Big difference!