oh happy day!!   I'm MORE than happy with my WLS!! BEST decision I EVER made was to have this surgery!! The other day my boss asked me to climb on a table to fix a light in the ceiling.  For a brief second I gave her this look like she was INSANE and thought, "I'm not getting on there, I'll BREAK .....oh wait, I'm not fat anymore!!" all I said was, "why don't u get up there?" and she says "YOU go..your ass is smaller than mine, I'm afraid I'd break it!"....which is funny because I've always thought of my boss as thin...like a perfect size...not too thin, not fat at all.  And I def don't see myself thinner than her...so I argued...."ya right! I wish I was your size!" ....she glared at me (we have a really good friendship, actually), called me a name and basically told me I'm crazy if I think she's thinner than me. When I found out I wear a smaller size than she does I about died! Not because she's fat...not at all....but its crazy to think I'm smaller than her!! I don't see myself as fat anymore ...but I surely don't see myself as thin! I look forward to losing 10-13 more lbs and getting a tummy tuck and a boob job!!! :D

 

I'm happier that I'm back on track, as i should be! :D I'm logging all my food again and working out at least 2 days a week, trying to work out more like 4 days a week! I have a 16 yr old daughter who struggles with her weight (by struggles I mean she has to count calories and work out just to maintain her weight! she's lost about 25 or so lbs in the past 6 months...she's about 10 lbs overweight now...but for her it feels like 100!). She keeps me in check when it comes to working out...she "bugs" me to work out often so it helps keep me on track!

At some point, I got as low as 150 lbs and back up to 157.  Luckily, I have NO desire to gain and EVERY desire to be between 135 and 140 so I got back on track, following all the rules to lose weight again.  I have to remember I CANNOT eat what I want to eat! That is a FACT! and just like an alcoholic being addicted to alcohol, therefore not being able to even have a sip of it...I'm addicted to crappy food....mostly carbs...and i have a sweet tooth but only once i have some.  If I completely avoid sweets, guess what happens? I STOP craving them! as soon as a morsal enters my mouth, I'm doomed!!  bad carbs are the same concept...chips, crackers, pretzels...ugg! So I'm learning to KNOW what my issues are and avoid them! uggg!! scientists need to come up with a way to alter our taste buds!! can't they just get RID of them all together? then nothing would taste good and eventually we would stop craving it and only eat to give ourselves nutrients and we would eat healthy food....like brussel sprouts...cuz they wouldn't taste like crap anymore!!  well, until then, I will do everything in my power to avoid bad carbs and sugar and focus on the healthy stuff and focus on working out!!

I hope u all are doing well on YOUR journey!! I wish u all the best of luck

I'm a little frustrated...OK, maybe more than a little....with my lack of weight loss over this past month or so. I haven't had ANY weight loss despite my increase in working out! I know muscle sort of weighs more than fat (one pound of fat is the same weight as one pound of muscle BUT one pound of muscle is considerable SMALLER than one pound of fat) so some of you will say that's why I may not be losing weight.  If I were losing inches, I would agree with you but I'm not!! frustrating!!! OK, so maybe..just maybe...I'm not eating as healthy as I have been...OK, not maybe, for sure! So I'm putting myself in check starting TODAY!! Someone please hide the Halloween candy from me!! thank you, dear husband! Ok, now I can start!  I wish I never tried to see if I was OK wth sugar or not! ugg!! Sugar and carbs are from the devil, I tell ya!!

Anyway, a vow to myself, out loud, to keep ME accountable for MY actions...I vow to eat only healthy foods for the rest of October and the entire month of November along with exercising a minimum of 3 times a week, despite how tired I am, despite any other bs excuses I have and despite how yummy that unhealthy dish looks and/or smells!!  I will plan meals ahead, give myself lots of healthy deliciious options to eat while at work so I don't buy any crappy snacks while there, I will drink lots of water, avoiding all sodas and I will set a timer to eat every 3-4 hours to avoid hunger pains and avoid over eating and choosing wrong foods!! In other words, I will eat how I KNOW how to eat and not how I WANT to eat to avoid getting myself into the same routine that got me fat in the first place!! and will help me continue to lose weight to get to my goal of 130 something!

As rough as the first year was on some levels....the weight came off pretty easily compared to now. Now I have to take what I've learned and apply it to every day life to be able to lose a little more and keep it off for the rest of my life!! I REFUSE to gain the weight back, I REFUSE to be fat ever again!!

Good luck to all of you on your journey!!

Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of my surgery! I can't believe its been a year already! time flies POST surgery! I'm happy to report I'm FINALLY at a NORMAL BMI range!! its been many years since that was so! I had my first plastic surgery consult last week and was told I'm an "idea" candidate for the tummy tuck, breast lift and implants that I want.  After much discussion with my husband, I will be scheduling my surgery sometime between july and December 2013 and I am SOOOO excited!!

As far as everything else goes.....I just started SERIOUSLY working out! walking and running on the treadmill 3 times a week at home was not enough for me anymore so the 4 of us (hubby and kids) joined the gym.  I'm happy my kids wanted to join with us! I now work out about 5 times a week  for 1.5 to 2 hours each time! cardio for 45 minutes and the rest of the time I'm on machines, building up the muscles that were dormat for so many years! and I absolutely LOVE working out!!

As far as eating goes....I can pretty much eat anything now which isn't necessarily a good thing, but I can.  Greasy stuff still bugs me and milk tends to bug me but I can do sugar ok but not really sugar alcohols.  I found out hard alcohal goes in and out of me within minutes.  I sometimes struggle with what I want to eat and what I should eat, nothing new there! BUT...they key is....eating what I NEED to eat, not what I WANT to eat! We have to learn how to do that for the rest of our lives!   can't always get what you want without consequences!

I hope everyone is enjoying their journey as much as I am and working hard to keep themselves where they wanted to be at the beginning of this journey!!