Life is a journey!

I, like most on this site, have been overweight most of my life.  Probably since age 10 when I started getting “chubby”.  I struggled with my weight all through junior high and high school.  I too remember shopping in the “pretty plus” department of Sears when I was a kid.  Ugly stuff, and embarrassing.  One of my most vivid memories was in 7^th grade track.  I had to lend my track top to one of the runners who had left hers at home by mistake.  I was only on field events, so I could use my team sweatshirt.  Any way…the other girls were laughing at the other girl (in reality making fun of me) saying she was “under the big top”.  Cruel?  Probably.  Having a child this age now, I can sure see how mean girls are at that age.  But…I still remember that and can almost hear it in my head.  Some things you never forget.  I lost weight in college and thought I didn’t look too bad.  Had a lot attention from guys for the first time in my life.  I dated in high school but not that much.  Left college and moved to my current location.  I have lived here for 18 ½ years now.  During that time I got married.  One and one half years into my marriage I was diagnosed with leukemia.  I was in the hospital approximately six straight months.  I remember getting to go home 2 times for about 2 days.  But each time I would get an infection and have to return.  My husband was pretty unstable.  I only remember him visiting about 10 times the entire six months I was in the hospital.  Looking back on things now, I know why.  I took an experimental drug- transretinoic acid.  This put me in remission, but I still had two rounds of strong chemotherapy.  I survived leukemia.  Three months after I finished my last chemo treatment I found out I was pregnant.  Probably the first time I had sex after getting out of the hospital!  No one thought this could happen, least of all me.  But on February 3, 1995 my miracle child was born.  Alexa.  I was so happy because all I ever wanted was my own baby.  My husband’s mental state continued to decline.  In 1998, we were the victims of a Predatory Mortgage scam.  We didn’t know the mess we were in until we found out others were in the same boat.  We started fighting with companies that did these things to consumers.  The group I belonged to got lending agreements with several National Large Companies who changed the way they make loans.  Now this is showing up in the news again!! BIG SURPRISE…NOT!  Its nothing knew.  We ended up filing bankruptcy.  This further put my husband’s moods into a downward spin.  We ended up separating in 2002 at the end of February.  April 10, 2002 he chose to end his life.  So, another thing I have had to deal with in my life.  Raising a child completely alone.  I have to say, if it weren’t for my great friends and family who support me every day, I couldn’t have survived.  They knew me from the highs to the lows and are still with me and continue to support this NEW direction in my life.  In July of 2002, when I was completely not looking or interested in finding a new companion, a friend introduced me to a man through an instant messenger conversation.  Then she left!  HA HA!  We ended up talking on line for 4 hours.  He asked for my number.  We talked another 2 hours.  We have talked every day ever since, even though we live 5 hours apart.  We both have been at our jobs for a long time.  28 years for him and 19 for me.  So, when the opportunity is right for both of us we will be together full time.  We are engaged and know we are committed to each other.  It’s just hard to give up longevity at a job and all its benefits.  We get to see each other once a month and have free cell to cell phone minutes which gets us through.  Life is wonderful with a loving and supportive man!  He is on this next journey with me and supports me and has loved me through it all!

I have high blood pressure and had to go on cholesterol medicine in January.  That was my final wake up call.  What is next for me?  Diabetes?  So I had to do something.  Now, I am so very excited to get going on this next phase of my life.  I've survived a lot!  I know I can survive this!