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  • Username: mlssadwn
  • Location: Red Bluff, CA, USA
  • Member Since: 12/3/2010
  • BMI: 19.2
  • Post Op
  • Surgery Type: VSG (02/23/11)
  • Surgeon: Richard Nguyen
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Goals

weigh less than my husband

381 People
 in progress, 
407 People
 achieved this

Work on getting approval for the right surgery

0 People
 in progress, 
1 Person
 achieved this
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mlssadwn's Blog
mlssadwn's Blog


The scale MOVES :) !
on April 29, 2011 7:57 am
Well the scale is now my friend again LOL I'm down to 182 and losing steadily. As long as I keep my CARBS down and my protein high (go figure every one of the Vets were right) the scale goes down. I think I am losing about three lbs a week which I think is awesome weight loss...especially considering I haven't started working out yet! Well we are moving into a house on May 15th and that is the week I am beginning my workout :) I decided that I am going to do Zumba two nights a week (work permitting) Maybe even get up and go at 6am on the days that I work nights....I don't know...small steps!
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Getting Back on Track
on April 21, 2011 10:22 pm
 Well here I am two days shy of my two month Surgiversary! While the LBS have come off slower than I would like (and I am most likely to blame for that...read further down) my sizes are DEF shrinking. I started at 220lbs size 16 in pants and XL in tops and I am now in a 12-14 pant and Medium in tops. This makes me feel super awesome! I am now the size I was when I met my husband three yrs ago. Goal #1 reached! 

My second goal was to weigh less than my husband and I DO! He is 5'11 and weighs 188lbs and as of today I weigh 185lbs (at 5'8")! This feels good but I almost feel like I am struggling for every pound. I posted before that the physical hunger is gone but the head hunger is LOUDER than ever and its true. I Haven made the best choices in food (potatoes or bread for toast or sandwiches) but I am trying. My water intake isn't up to par either. I probably get in 45-55oz and I have NO idea what my protein is. I try to eat high protein foods but I don't count them. I have never been good at keeping a diary of any sort let alone a food diary. I also haven't began working out yet. I am waiting until we move on the 15Th as the gym is in that town (25 miles north of me now). 

I started to try and make a difference though. I bought pre-natal vites, b-12, and ant-acids and have been taking them every morning for the last 5 days, I have also tried to drink more water AND I start every morning with half a protein bar (30 grams of protein) and I try and eat the other half before bed. It has 25 grams of carbs in it so I have been trying to limit my carbs to make up for it (no toast in the morning). My Dr said the only carbs I should get are from milk, cheese, veggies, and fruit. My NUT said that any other carbs are OK as long as they are from whole grains (like the bread for my sandwiches---which I take one piece of bread, cut it in half, and put mustard, turkey, cheese, and tom)...anyways I've felt better emotionally since I've done all this. 

Ive been at a "stall" or whatever it is for the last three weeks...bouncing around 3-4lb gain/loss...its been hard. Today though I weight (about an hr ago) and it finally said 185. This is the first time its hit that low :) I feel guilty though, like I'm not losing as fast as I should be :( what a hard thing to feel sometimes (just a note also today was the last day of my period which was four days late so maybe that what part of the weight flux was)???

Anyways this seems like a downer post I'm sure but I don't mean it to be. I am so happy with my Sleeve and I am determined to keep reminding myself that this is a marathon and to each his own. If anyone has any tips Id love to hear them. Maybe something I'm not thinking of? I can give you a typical menu for me also if it helps :)

Breakfast- Coffee and half a protein bar

Lunch- Sandwich as mentioned above

Dinner- Chicken or Fish with green beans or rice or something (rice and pasta-like foods tend to hurt so I really only get one bite in if i have em)

Snacks- maybe some yogurt or FF ice cream bar (about half) cup of whole milk tends to fill me up so I try and drink two or so a day




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Little over a month out :)
on April 9, 2011 11:08 am
And I am finally getting the hang of this thing! LOL it took a while and I had to learn the hard way with puking and pain and nausea and whatnot but I got it! Of course I'm sure this means that soon something will happen to turn this all on my head again. OK here is what Ive learned and this is what works for me

1) While I did lose my hunger my head hunger is louder than ever
2) I prefer to feel satisfied over full. Feeling full makes me feel sick
3) Puking is easier now and I do not avoid it. Meaning I take it as my body telling me "too much" so I get rid of the food and make sure I learn for next time.
4) Chips do NOT make me feel full :(((
5) I am a fast eater. I can only eat about 3-6 bites (1/4 of a cup) of anything and to try and make that last 25min is VERY HARD!
6) Body shapers make you feel SO GOOD about yourself!

There are more but these ones I hope will help someone else. So I feel like I'm not losing as fast as someone else and while I know not to compare or that this is not a marathon and whatnot It is hard to see someones awesome progress (especially when they are roughly the same starting weight as me) and not compare. I also know that I have become brave with my food choices and have introduced chips :( major sad face. They have like 25g of carbs per (little) bag and if i want to stay under 50g then that means I have to do a lot of work. However one of the reasons I picked this surgery is because I don't want to be that girl that counts calories and carbs and stuff. Maybe I need to count now and then once I get to maintenance I can relax a bit and trust my body. Hmmmm good thoughts! I also used to be so much better about my water intake. Like 75oz or so and now it feels like a struggle to even get 25oz in. I drink ice water and tea/crystal lite all day. I definitely need to do better about that!

Well I haven't been having anything too strange happen. I went on vacation with my family for three days and that threw my eating and drinking off a bunch so I gotta get back on track. I also haven't started working out yet but am confident that when I do the weight will come off easier. Maybe less stalls or something. Although I have only had one "stall" and even tho for two weeks I didn't lose weight I lost inches. So far I am down from size 18Long pants to a 14Long and XL top to M :) SUPER!!!!! Im still a 40D in bras and am hoping that goes down. Its sad but my boobs are saggy at 25 (3 kiddos under the age of 5 and still nursing slightly) and they dont fit into a C cup but a D is a little too big :( I want to get a tummy tuck and boob job but I am afraid of the boob job. Maybe one will pop!

Well thats about it for today :) anyone have any questions, thought, or comment please dont hesitate.

Mel

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Had a Nice Long talk with my Sister
on March 15, 2011 10:22 am
Hey OH! So as you know I have had some awesome moments with my Sleeve :) i lost 25lbs in 2.5 weeks! WOOHOO! I feel better about myself and as a result my sex life with the Hubby has ROCKED!

There have also been some struggles; eating too fast/too much, wrong choices in foods....just the general learning process stuff. Well last night I went to pick up my gym membership from my older sis and her and I had a nice long talk about weight, nutrition, and the emotions that come with it.

She is 6'0 tall and about 165lbs. She looks AMAZING! I say this as three yrs ago she was 350+lbs. She began cutting out processed foods, then sodas, the sugars, then carbs....and so on. Over the course of a yr she worked on what she ate. Then she added in exercise. After that, portion sizes. I have always been so in awe of her! Then here I come and have surgery (because I have ZERO self control) and tho I feel a little sad that I couldn't do it the "normal" way I am proud to be on the way to a healthier me. Well talking to her last night I learn that she is struggling with mild bulimia and food obsession!! I was super shocked. Here I was thinking I was the abnormal one and the one who has no control and she confides this bombshell.

As someone who also suffers from food obsession myself I can understand that. The obsessive thoughts about food, watching Food Network all day thinking about food, wondering if I will ever be able to eat like a normal person again....The list goes on for me. I have very little if no hunger so its really all in my head. That's the hardest thing for me; that Head Hunger. I hate it! I have this "Clean Plate Syndrome" where I want to clean my plate. I get the most satisfaction when its full and then its clean. My therapist thinks it might stem from some neglect as a child and then once adopted by my Grandparents and sign of safety and comfort. So very true.

Anyways given all her struggles she has a wealth of knowledge about food and exercise! I really find however that I have to pick through it to find what works for me. Example; she does not eat dairy, sugar, processed foods, carbs, red meat...and the list goes on. She does not eat avocado because its a fat even though i thought it was a good fat??? Anyhow some of the stuff are too extreme for me but she does have some good stuff too.

Bottom line its a struggle for anyone no matter the process you use. I'm looking forward to hearing what she has to say and learning what I can from her. I love her and am glad that she confided in me.
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Am I just eating too fast??
on March 13, 2011 8:46 pm
Hey OH! I am on mushy stage with added soft proteins and now I find that I am puking after almost EVERY MEAL! Its not much maybe a couple bites worth but I certainly don't think its normal. What am I doing wrong? Eating too fast? Waiting too long in between meals? I try and eat Breakfast-Lunch-Snack-Dinner-Small glass of milk before bed. Hmmmm I just feel like I'm back in Math class and no matter how many times I'm told or how many times I read it I just DON'T GET IT! Please help, friends!

Also dis or do any of you have a fear of food??? Now that I am allowed to eat more I am feeling afraid that food=fat :( I find that periodically throughout the day I think "OMG if I start eating normal food its going to make the weight loss slow down/stop!" Is this conditioning?? Ugh so many questions going through my head (Therapy this week is going to be WELCOME)

Thanks So Much for being here...I see a therapist once a week and sometimes I need someone in between :) On a positive note I am still in Onederland! I thought for sure once I hit 199 I'd jump back to 255 LOL!

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My Story

My Story :D

Like everyone here I am doing this to be the best me I can be. For all our different reasons I am so glad I found this place where I can be me and find so much support.

I imagine a lot of you were heavy as children, like me. Now obviously looking back I wish I would have known what to do with those self destructive feelings and thoughts. I wasnt a lazy child either. A tramatic childhood forced me to constantly "escape" outside with nothing more than my body and imagination. From imagining I was Pocahontas and running through the orchard singing to pretending I was Moses and freeing my people through the endless dessert I was constantly in motion.

Fast forward to excelling in softball and volleyball then finding my niche in jazz dancing I was an example of confidence! But under my uniform were girdles holding back what I thought was imperfections. At fourth grade I cried at the idea of having to think of lies to explain why I wore these things...back supports I later decided was a good answer. I was rifficuled at 7th grade securing the name "Water Buffalo" for the rest of my middle school days. I sometimes wonder if anyone had known what was happening at home if they would say those things to me.

Come High School though and everything changed for me. I shot up and with the help of endless dace training sessions and a whole new living situation I toned up. By the time I was a senior I had a six pack and size 8 waist. Never do I remember being made fun of for being fat. Then I met someone who instilled in me the need to maintian perfection. And I did for a long time. Come Dec of 2004, however, a knee injury ended that. Never since (due to my weight) have I been able to put on that dance uniform...my injured knee can no longer support me. After that injury I packed on 25lbs in a month. Apparently eating the same without any excerize to burn it off was not something I had thought about. The weight came on and then came a pregnancy. Never had I felt so fat. I lost 30lbs before I was 6mo along. The idea of gaining weight even for pregnancy was such a turn off to him that I feared losing him. Once I had my baby girl (8lbs 6oz) I dropped the weight as quickly as I could. Went down to pre pregnancy weight minus 25 more pounds. I cant remember a time I was so thin. But he left us anyway. I was alone and a new mother with freedom to eat and not be judged or looked at. So I ate. And ate. Years of suppressed rage, sadness, and guilt all went away with each cheeseburger and fries :) Late night binges and extra helpings could never take a way the damage he caused but it sure helped mask it. I was so weak and vulnerable and food was my knight in shining armor. My friend.

After the birth of my second child I lost some weight and liked how i felt and looked. I started going to the gym with my sister (she lost 200lbs without WLS just diet and excersize) and I really felt like I was on top! I met my husband then and the first yr was amazing! Such trust and passion and love I got complacent. During the courtship I put on about 15lbs (lots of late night dinners and movies) and then the real craziness began. Financial hardships and bad reaction to birth control racked up 55lbs in one yr. Add that to the 15lbs I had put on dating and I was miserable. After the birth of my son in Feb I have lost 35lbs and I am ready for more :D I want to be on the losers bench!!

After a year of researching here I am. Ready to do the work. To feel good about myself. I am a fighter and I am going into this fully dedicated. Below are some goals I have and motivations :D

To wrap a towel all the way around me

To be able to but pants and any store i walk in

To not have to go the furthest side of a rack to find my size