ObesityHelp

Hey there -  My name is Darla, and I'm in the "application" stage of WLS.  I should have done this 20 years ago, I've been obese all my life.  I have no clue what it even feels like to be normal size!  But the older I get (45 next week), the more the weight affects me negatively.  So after talking it over with my hubby and just a few of my closest friends, I'm moving forward.  Attended an info meeting at the hospital, filled out the application stuff, and plan on sending it in on Tuesday.  I'm not terribly worried that I won't be approved, with my BMI just over 50, diabetes, and back & leg pain. 

It's late at night, and I just thought I'd share my application letter here, see what ya'll think. 

(BTW, of all the websites I've checked out so far, this one seems the most user-friendly by far!  I hope I have the time to get to know some of you and maybe even cry on your shoulders if & when I stress out over this all!)

So, here it is:

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to you today to ask you to consider my request for weight loss surgery.  I honestly never envisioned myself going down this road, as I have had a number of surgeries already in my life.  The last thing I thought I’d ever ask for was another IV, another scalpel.  But, my Primary Care Physician has suggested I consider it a couple of times now, so I’ve been doing a lot of “research” on the internet.  I have been obese my entire life, and it has affected the quality of my life in many ways.

The two most important factors that have lead me to this request are; being an insulin dependant Type-2 diabetic; and the physical pain I constantly suffer in my lower back and left leg. 

I trust I don’t need to explain the ways having diabetes affects my life, but I do want to share that I am a 44 year old mother of two children, ages 10 and 14 (I’ll be 45 by the time you read this).  I want to live to help them grow up, go to college, and start families of their own – I want to be a grandma someday!  Not just technically, but the kind of grandma who can play with and enjoy my grandkids, take them places and do things without worrying about whether or not I’ll be physically able.

As for the back and leg pain I suffer, it has been the direct result of an automobile accident in which I was broadsided in December of 1996.  I had never suffered from back pain prior to that accident, but it has been chronic and increasing in severity in the past couple of years.  Chiropractic adjustments helped for a while, and physical therapy taught me some exercises that help alleviate the pain to some degree, but I have no doubt that the excessive weight I carry makes the pain extreme and much more difficult to control.  I am just as confident that losing a great deal of the excess weight would help minimize the pain I deal with on a daily basis, if not eliminate it all together.  The pain has also made it very difficult for me to do the walking and biking I enjoyed fairly regularly prior to it becoming so debilitating.

Of course, there are countless other ways my obesity has negatively affected the quality of my life.  While I have always had a fairly positive attitude and many true, dear friends, I did suffer the usual issues in high school – un-cool clothes, never having a date, not having the confidence to try out for any kind of sport or theatrical production, being teased in the halls, etc.  I found my personal joy in wilderness canoe camping and music.  After I graduated from college, I managed to support myself and have a social life, but I always suspected that my size kept me from landing the more desirable, better-paying jobs.

I married at 28, and had my children at 30 and 34.  In those six years, my weight ballooned another 100 pounds. I now face more personal frustrations associated with being obese – I haven’t been wilderness camping since I was 29.  I want so much to be able to share that experience with my children!  But I just can’t imagine hauling my current bulk over lengthy portages, much less with a canoe or 70 pound pack on my back.  I always LOVED amusement park rides!  But now I fear I won’t fit under the safety bar of many of the best ones.  I can only buy my clothes from stores that cater to plus-size women.  I have to humbly ask for seat belt extenders on airplanes, or worse yet – pretend I’m buckled up when I only have the belt clip tucked into the fold between my stomach and my lap.  I’m claustrophobic in public restrooms; I fear disapproving looks into my grocery cart (even though I do eat fairly healthy!); I’m self conscious about affecting the balance in boats; and while I love swimming, I know many of the other people at the pool or the beach are gawking at me.  So far, my kids have turned a blind eye to it, but I know the day will come when they’re embarrassed to be seen playing in the water with their huge mom.

I’m tired of my obesity defining me and what I can do.  I want to live a better quality of life, and learn what it’s like to be a more normal-sized person.  It used to scare me, the thought of not being fat - what an alien thing!  But now, what scares me even more is the thought of never knowing what it feels like to be able to live my life without having to consider my bulk everywhere I go, in everything I do.  I want to see if maybe I’ll be one of those Type-2 diabetics who are able to go off insulin, or better yet – reverse my diabetes all together!  I want to know how it feels to have my husband’s arms wrap around me, not just barely reach around me.  I want to be comfortable in restaurant booths and amusement park rides.  I want to walk without pain in my knee, hobbling around like an old fart before my time!  When my dear friends and family look at me, I want to see pride in their faces – and be able to thank them for loving me unconditionally.  I want my mom to feel joy at seeing her only daughter FINALLY lose a significant amount of weight.  And as I said earlier, I want to be around for my children for a good, long time.  I realized some time ago that I’ve come to assume I’ll die fairly young.  (And I realize that I may anyway, from any number of things.)  But if having this surgery helps me lose a significant amount of weight, at least I can positively affect those related factors and ward off the grim reaper as long as possible!

My BMI is just over 50.  With diabetes and the back and leg pain I live with, I’m sure I’m a good candidate for this surgery.  And I’m finally ready.  I hope you’ll agree.

Sincerely,

 Darla