From my post last Sunday:
Yesterday I had a truly delightful experience that I'm blaming on sorbitol. You know sorbitol -- that sweetener that the food industry puts in lots of sugar free stuff. Personally, my limit is about 1 tablespoon of sorbitol-based sugar free pancake syrup or one sugar free candy. Anymore than that and I can't be far from a bathroom. I have now decided my non-WLS mother's limit is zero. She can't even be in the same room with the stuff.
Anyway, this story will probably be TMI for some.
Mom is diabetic. Yesterday morning I had to take her in for fasting labs that she has to do before she sees her doctor quarterly. After the labs, she is usually ready to eat the seats out of my car.
So, after her labs I ask her where she wants to eat. She says IHOP.
Other than maybe Baskin Robbins, it is probably the worst chain restaurant in the world for a postop to visit. I didn't like it much even when I was preop. But I know better than to argue with her when her blood sugar is low.
From my postop-protein-needin'-carb-avoidin' perspective, looking at the menu was painful. How can they sell this crap to people? Why do people eat it?
They do list the calories in everything. They put pancake batter in everything -- it's even in most of the omelettes. The fruity stuff is loaded with sugar. Unbelievably, the chocolate chip pancakes were lower cal compared to most of the others (still don't want to think about the carbs). And the healthy grains pancakes have walnuts in them. I'm allergic to walnuts.
We ordered (she ordered a seniors item for me, and I ordered her sampler platter because I've heard they can be nazis about who can order senior stuff). I figured I'd eat the egg and ham and limit myself to one bite of pancakes (my doctor does not forbid carbs, they just have you eat protein first).
[I did see the 'diet' foods on the back of the menu about 1.5 seconds after we were done ordering.]
Food comes. She starts pouring sugar free syrup all over her sausage and pancakes. She also put some butter pecan syrup on her pancakes -- she is a total sugar addict, after all. I'm not the food police.
When we're done, we went to Lowe's. She picked out a new toaster. Before we left the appliance dept, I asked her if she needed to use the restroom because we were close -- no.
I had to pick up a couple more things, so I asked her to go up to the front of the store and wait for me. She uses a walker, doesn't move fast, and gets tired out quickly.
When I found her about 10 minutes later she was sitting on her walker by the main entrance. She stands up, something shifts internally and and she sez: "where's the bathroom?" Moving a lot quicker than normal, we go to the back of the store and she goes in. I wait. And wait. And wait. Something is wrong -- it shouldn't be taking this long. I go in.
She's in the handicapped stall with her pants off. Her Depends is folded up on her walker's seat, but it's loaded. There is poop all over her legs, her support stockings, her shoes, her pants (in a ball on the floor), the walker's seat, the toilet seat, the outside of the bowl, the floor. It's one of those times where I'm totally screaming inside --- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! My pouch that was iffy from the crap IHOP food just sort of flipped over and went bleeeehhhhh. I'm surprised I didn't throw up.
I pitch the Depends in the trash. I try to wash some of it out of her pants, but there's just too much -- and they're light blue!
I asked her to stay inside the handicapped stall. I scrub my hands. I walk out of the bathroom mortified. I see a female Lowe's employee in the floor covering section. I told her what had happened and that I was going to go get her a new pair of pants at Target. She said she'd tell the Customer Service Desk.
I walk across the parking lot to Target and they don't have carry women's larger sizes. Mom is a 20, but I don't have any idea what that equals in the unnumbered regular women's clothing. I finally dig out a regular women's 2X pair of sweats (it is 95 degrees outside) out of a stack. Please, God, let these fit her.
I stopped at my car on the way back and grabbed a bag of baby wipes.
Back to Lowe's.
Mom is sitting on her walker right next to the sinks wearing her spare Depends. Her pants are in a ball on the floor. Two little girls went in right before me -- they didn't know what was going on. I'm just thankful that they went in about 10 seconds before me so I could take over the situation. Otherwise, who knows what they would have done. ("Maaaaaahhhm!! There's a creepy old lady sitting in the bathroom in her underwear!")
I took Mom back into the stall. Cleaned her up. Cleaned up the stall as much as I could. Cleaned her Crocs. Got her into the sweats (actually a bit big). And out the door.
Needless to say, we won't be going back to that Lowe's ever. Maybe this experience exorcised IHOP from Mom's consciousness (hopefully).
I looked up the Smucker's sugar free pancake syrup. Number two ingredient-- sorbitol. It's basically sorbitol and artificial flavoring.