Hi Everyone, Well I am going to weigh myself again on the 25th of January because that will be my 6 month anniversary I wanted to lose 100 lbs by then I think I'll be close but I don't think I make it and I'm okay with that.  I have learned more since the last time I checked in here, I am trying to eat better everyday and I think I'm doing better I am trying to exercise more and I'm doing better there too boy of boy this sure is a process I hope I can lose quite a bit more weight before the loss gets even harder for me.  I now weigh last time I checked about a week or so ago 233 lbs so from where I started that's 87 lbs but I like to say 13 lbs from 100 that makes me feel better.  My husband and I have to sell our home and move to something smaller because I sell real estate for a living and the market is sucking right now and has for sometime but also because living in the huge house we are in now is kind of a waste in both money and space.  It is just us two now and we have over 2400 sq ft ranch so we are moving to a home with 1600 sq ft also a ranch.  But because the market is so bad right now and our current home is well over $400,000.00 and that market is even deader we may lose our home to a short sale or maybe even a foreclosure God forbid.  But there are a lot of folks in the same shape and even more are worse off in the country now days such as folks with kids in the war and everything else going down so I feel guilty to complain sometimes.  I feel like I should have known better since I've been selling real estate for over 15 years but when you are the only one in the household bringing in money and it's based on 100% commission it's very difficult to gauge.  I have saved a lot of money over the years but I've had to cash in most of my investments because of the bad market so I'm getting down to nothing soon and my husband has not worked except for with me at our company for over 6 years when he had cancer and his damn boss laid him off (what a jerk but he probably had his problems too).  I tried to ask my husband to get a job outside of our business but he has confidence problems and is having a very hard time so I will be patient because I love him so so much.  Well I'm going on too long as usual so I'll end now and maybe do some more another time...Best to all my friends here on OH I love and think of you often...Love Pam

Hi All, Well I don't have an update on my weight because I'm afraid to go on the scale.  The last time I did the scale I only lost 2 lbs in 11 days and everyone keeps calling it a stall but I know better.  The reason I think I am not losing is because I've been eating too many carbs and snacking a lot.  I know I made a promise with this surgery to eat better and exercise but I am like I think we all are a creature of habit.  I hate to say those things because I know what you say to yourself can cause more damage than what you actually do to yourself and I am trying to stay positive so that I can succeed at this not fail.  I keep telling myself that I will not FAIL but everyday I keep making both good and bad choices.  I try to focus on protein and I do a good job at that but sometimes I just want those pretzels, low fat chips and the sugar free candy don't even get me started with that.  Pre surgery I loved candy I keep it in a drawer next to my chair in the living room so when I'd watch TV I would nibble and I'm sure it was bad.  Even when I was diagnosed with Diabetes I still couldn't get off it.  Now I've discovered sugar free gummy candies like jelly beans and other stuff like that I also love the hard candy like root beer barrels and hard coffee candy, the fact that they make me so sick may be a good thing overall because when I eat too much of it I get the most horrible gas ever my family can't even stand me in the house anymore but if I cross the line to eating way way too much I get the worse diarrhea I've ever had in my life.  So I have to try and keep it out of the house but when I go to the mall I stop at that damn store and get some thinking I can control it only to find out that I lied to myself and I can't.  I have to get this shit out of my house!  Well anyway the one thing I did get from this surgery is everyday is a new one and I try to learn everyday that I screw up and I hope to get a handle on this someday hopefully before I die but hey I try to not make any promises to myself or fear of failing at that.  If there is anyone out there that can give me any advice I haven't already given myself please help me.  I will try and keep this site updated and I'm thinking about going to Weight Watchers but when I think about it too long I feel like I don't have anything in common with them as I've had the surgery and they haven't so I feel like I'm cheating.  Have a great one to all that see this and thanks for everything you do for me...Pam  

Well I'm sure I've said this before or something like it anyway but here I go again.....

The jury is still out on whether or not I think this surgery was a good idea for me.  I am eating way more than I think I should with no problems whatsoever which kind of pisses me off but I did still lose 56 lbs in 8 weeks and I'm eating way less than I was pre-op so I guess for now I'll take that.  I have HIRSP insurance that's a high risk insurance I pay the state of Wisconsin for.  I pay a huge premium of $1800 per quarter and my husband is around $2400 but he is older and had cancer.  I was approved in 6 days this time and in 2004 when I chickened out in less than 2 weeks so my insurance is good.  I just and have been giving my son advice and I will give you all the same, try everything else before you have the surgery because everyone thinks of it as a magic pill and it's soooooo not.  I am right back after 8 weeks eating just about everything I want and I have to watch it closely and exercise every day to maintain and possibly lose more weight which I have not lost anymore in the past 2 or 3 weeks, I swear that's the truth.  I can eat sugar almost as much as I want (I haven't hit too much yet).  I can eat ice cream have Starbucks coffees with sugar in them and I have never had a problem at all!  But if you still want to have it and you do my advice would be to watch it and don't try and push the envelope eat only what they tell you and make it so if you go over that amount whatsoever that you will die and plan on exercising at least 3 or better 4 times a week for an hour.  So the moral of this story (at least mine) is you may have to eat right using willpower and exercise just about everyday and if I would have been able to do that pre-surgery I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place...Best to you, your friend...Pam    

-a question:  
I am now getting close to 8 weeks out as of this coming Wednesday and I already can eat just about anything I want.  Last night I had before bed (and I really wish I wouldn't have had it) a hand full of reg pretzels, seasoned pretzels and protein chips.  The part that really scared me was for dinner I made a very healthy meatloaf with very lean ground beef 7% which is less than ground turkey or chicken (unless it's ground white meat which is very hard to find) 2 pieces a bite of mashed pots and mashed yams and some cauliflower and brussel sprouts and then just after dinner I had a slice of no-bake pumpkin pie.  Now I made it with a low fat graham cracker crust and light cream cheese but so what!  I should not be able to eat that much food with no discomfort whatsoever after 7 weeks.  So so far I would say no I would not have the surgery again, plus I feel the pain I went thru and everything that was done to my insides was a least a shame and at best a travesty.  As a matter of fact my 26 year old son weighs 470 lbs he used to weigh 565 and went down to 375 and now he’s coming back up again and I am discouraging him from having the surgery and instead encouraging him to go a diet like he did last time and lose the weight and this time do things just a little differently so it will stay off but ultimately it's his decision.  I told him to go thru all the pre-testing stuff (because it doesn't hurt to have all the tests to make sure he’s doing well) and then make his decision along the way.  That’s what I did the first time and I chickened out and did not have the surgery that was in 2004 and with another hospital and program, and I did not get along with the surgeon in that case.  I just couldn't understand if you have to eat right and exercise 7 days a week anyway why they heck wouldn't all of us be thin and not have to have the surgery in the first damn place?  But my surgeon is great now except for the fact that he’s trying to make a living using my and other's bodies as tools to do so.  As far as the hospital is concerned I thought they were a bunch of boobs.  None of them had a clue as to what they were doing and they had no sensitivity regarding the needs of an obese patient again whatsoever.  I did although lose 53 lbs in probably 5 weeks and nothing the last 3 weeks but I think the reason I lost all the weight wasn't the results of the surgery sort of speak but because I was starving for those 5 weeks and I mean that.  I went thru so much emotionally I can't even begin to tell you it was so horrible.  I don't know if down the line I will feel differently but as far as now is concerned I would not do it again I would try everything else I could do before I would resort to the surgery and even then think about it some more because my whole life has changed (or maybe not depending now how this goes) but at least physically forever.  I can't enjoy life the way I could before with friends and family and I feel it even did some damage in my marriage of 25 years because of all I put my poor husband thru these 8 weeks and beyond.  He doesn't understand why I'm not more positive about this whole ordeal and I tell him would he be positive if you were starving and not losing weight at the same time?  He then said I guess not.  That's it a nutshell you are starving physically and mentally the only thing is you are not losing weight while doing so.  What a damn shame hey?  I'll let you know if things change for me and you contact me if you need anything else whatsoever.  

P.S. One more thought I am starting to think the reason why there are any successes with this surgery at all is because the person that has the surgery feels so bad that they made the decision that they feel they have to do something to show some success or they'll look like idiots and fools to their friends and family.  So this morning I rode my stationary bike for 30 minutes so that I too will not look like a fool...Thanks for listening...Pam           

Aug 7th 2007

Well hear I sit so broken hearted no no no LOL....I feel much better today I went to see my surgeon Dr Burhop and he answered a lot of my questions such as what was with my problem heart beats after the surgery and he said that was just from the stuff they used to put me under and that it was common.  Where was this hernia he fixed for me and the scar tissue that was an issue.  I have lost 32 lbs since the beginning.  I went from 320 from pre-op diet to 300 then after surgery back up to 311 (nobody tells you that you gain weight from the surgery and all the liquids they give you) then somewhere in there I was 305 and now as of today I'm 287 and I was very happy with that.  I get to start my pureed diet tomorrow and I can't wait for my scrambled egg in the morning!  I'm on less and less pain meds and I am going to start to exercise a little more too.  Well that's good for now I wish everyone the best including me....Pam