(This is actually supposed to be my first writing on my blog but when I wrote tonight's I realized it wasn't there... I'm not sure what happened).
Well where do I start...
Well first, I am a single Mom with a 5-year old son... I am doing this for him... to have more energy and more self esteem, to teach him how do do the same. I want to teach him not to be afraid of anything... to take risks... because that is what life is all about.
My brother John died in November... I am doing this for him. All his friends and some of his family called him Tiny... but he wasn't tiny at all... he was 6'7" and weight about 400 pounds. He was 39 when he had his massive heart attack, 2 months from his 40th birthday. Losing him has been one of the hardest things in my life. I wasn't prepared at all. He was supposed to do so many things. He was going to be my son's coach and he was going to walk me down the aisle when and if I ever got married.
I am doing this for my Dad... he died of a massive heart attack when I was 12 and he only 43. Since John's death I think about him all the time. I have done so many things in my life since his passing that he would be disappointed in. Lately I am trying to do things that would make both of them proud.
I am doing this for my Mother. She is the strongest thing in my life. She took me in when I was pregnant and my son's father wasn't ready for the responsibility. She is 63 and has diabetes. She's lost a partial toe and part of her eyesight. She has been through so much in her life... but she is always ready to give more than she has.
I am doing this for my other brother Joe (we all call him Jody.. except for my son... who calls him Uncle Joe). He is the oldest of the three of us and has made hard decisions which I believe stemmed from losing our grandmother who he was close to and then losing our father. He is also overweight and is always choosing fatty, fried food and carbohydrates drinks. He is one of those guys that doesn't believe in doctors... so we have no idea in what shape he is in really. He treats my son like his own and I will never be able to repay him for that. He has taught him and will continue (God willing) to teach him all the things that little boys growing into men should know (fishing, hunting... that sort of thing but also (for those that think they know my brother but really do not) how to do the right thing).
Last but certainly not least, I am doing this for me. I have learned that I can be a pretty strong person when I need to be. If I learned anything in the last year it has been that I am a emotional but strong person who loves her family and wants to due things to honor them. That hasn't always been the case of course, but I was messed up for a long time. My family is the best part of me because through everything we are strong and loyal. We want everything, just have never took the easiest road to get them and have gone down the wrong forks in the road.
I am having this surgery so that I can be healthy... so that I can help not only make my family's dreams come true that we have today... but to make the ones that we have tomorrow come true as well. I am going to school to teach my son that even though these types of things aren't easy... they are worth doing because they not only make us smarter... they make us stronger.