I managed to get up early, and attended the yoga that i had planned to, 7am, before work. It's gentle yoga, lots of stretching and gentle poses. It was my second yoga session ever in my life (i don't know if you can count Wii yoga), and wow, what an amazing way to start the day.I felt energized and invigorated, and had a sense of accomplishment, for actually following through on my plan to go to the pre-work yoga. I told a friend at work that i was going to go, and that gave me a need to be accountable, and follow through. I've discovered that's a technique that works for me. In my former life, I wouldn't share these goals with anyone, so I was the only one who knew i was copping out. It's a good motivator for me.

The day at work was long and uneventful, but all throughout the day, i had a real sense of pride and accomplishment.

In the evening, I attended my second to last session of the "learn to run" group at the Running Room. Last week, we did 8 minutes, and I was really leery about going to 10 minutes this week. "Really? 10 minutes? Shouldn't we only go up to 9?? Let's not go crazy, here." We run for a total of 20 minutes, so we would do 10 minutes running, one walking, 10 running. Extremely apprehensive. I didn't want to fail, this far out.

I did it.


I freaking did it.

During the first 10 minutes, I felt so good. I wasn't shuffling, like i was, even at the end of the 8 minutes last week. My feet were coming completely off the ground. I was actually running, not half assed running. I felt the same in the second 10 minutes. Again, feet coming completely off the ground. Arms and hands relaxed. I wish i could have seen myself run, i wonder if i looked as good as i felt?

The instructor came back to me near the end of the second 10 minutes, and ran with me for a bit. I talked with her as we ran, a little breathlessly, but i was able to talk. I wasn't gasping for breath, and i didn't feel like i was going to die. She told me how impressed she was, with my progress, and how she hoped that i would keep this up. I told her how impressed i was with myself.

I remember, when i was severely obese, looking at people running, and wishing, hoping, dreaming, that i could one day be like them. Runners always looked free to me, like they could do anything they set their mind to.  I'm one of them now. I can do whatever i choose to do! I am a runner. I am free.

After the run, and after the stretching, i went back into the store to pick up my keys and glasses (i can't run with glasses on, they keep falling down and its annoying. I can see fuzzy blobs and stay out of their way well enough lol). It hit me, as i was walking through the store, that i didn't feel out of place. I didn't feel like people were mentally pointing fingers at me and asking "what the hell is SHE doing here".
 
I'm a runner like the rest of them.

I belong here.

I belong in the world, and I'm so grateful to my surgeon, my bariatric team, my OH friends and my real life WLS friends, for helping me get here. Right now, too, I'm so grateful to the Running Room, for helping me get to a place that I've been striving for, my entire adult life.

Today is three months since i had my surgery. Here are the changes that I've noticed.

I smile, way more. Although i was never a miserable person, i find myself smiling for no reason.

I need a belt, and I've gone down three notches since i bought it. It was the biggest one in the store, but i wear it with pride.

I have more energy. Yesterday, i skipped up the stairs here at work, smiling while i did it, and i wasn't out of breath when i was done. I was able to wallpaper my bathroom without sweating up a storm.

I like my boobies. They fit into a (semi) cute bra, and look good under a shirt, rather than just getting in the way.

I get lots of compliments from people i work with.

I'm more open about having had surgery than i thought i would be. (especially with overweight women, its like i want them to know their options)

I can fit into a movie theatre seat better.

I am able to kneel down on the floor and get back up again, without using a support.

I can bend over and flip open my gas cover thingy in the car.

I don't have cravings for "treats" that I really enjoyed presurgery, I actually look forward to eating my healthy choices.

The energy is the biggest change for me. Its not only the energy to move around, but its the energy to "tackle" things. I don't procrastinate as much as i used to. For instance, we put our house on the market two weeks ago. For the longest time, i've been wanting to do that, but just didn't have the mental energy to deal with having to keep the house up to standards, to be ready to be seen with 24 hours notice. I have the energy to spend hours walking around or shopping with my 19 yr old twin girls. I love being on my motorcycle, i feel "cool" on it now.

I love my life now, and that's after just over 60 pounds gone. I can't wait for the next part of this adventure.

Mon