Its been 8 months since wls and I am almost at a 100lb  loss!  Life has been GREAT!  I’ve had 4 fills and they have  all been beneficial.  My Dr. says I am doing great!  I think so too.  I am sooo happy! I still have days where I want to cry because I can no longer eat certain foods…believe me, I’ve tried and its NOT worth the pain!  Im slowly starting to lose my obsessiveness with food.  I was starting to have issues with cereal because I LOVE cereal and Paul in Dallas got me hooked on HiLo Cereal. They don’t sell it down here and while I was up in Houston I bought THREE boxes and while my mom was in SA she bought me THREE more! Lol I think I have enough for the rest of the year. Dr. says its bad because of the milk and while Im not one of those that eats more than one bowl of cereal a sitting (never have been) its considered a “slider” food and he suggests limiting my cereal intake to once a week as a treat.  I agree and that is what I did.   Now I KNOW I will ALWAYS be a food addict, but the feeling for instant gratification with food is slowly disappearing.  I firmly believe it has to do with coming onto OH daily to be held accountable and because I WANT to succeed! 

While I was in the waiting room for my appt., the receptionist gave us a sheet to fill out.  It asked about our eating habits and what is a typical meal like.  It also asked if we were chewing slowly, taking small bites, waiting in between bites, etc…etc…I could hear the ladies next to me speaking to each other and both were saying “oh we have to put no on that , yes to that”…”We can’t tell him what we are really doing..” I got so sad because I thought to myself.  These ladies went through drastic measures by having wls and yes, they could lie to the Dr.’s all they wanted,,,but how was that going to hurt the Dr.’s in any way?  The only people they were lying to and hurting was THEMSELVES.

But,,,I LIE to myself too.  Yes I do.  I TELL myself I cannot eat sweets, I cannot drink sodas, I cannot have ice cream  I like to think of myself as an “RNY’er” and that I will “dump” if I eat any of  that. And hey, if that works for me and it gets me NOT to eat the bad stuff, then more power to me.  May sound crazy but oh well.

I appreciate the LONG TERM POST-OPS so much more now. I know Im still a “newbie” as it has not been a year yet, but the TMB “graduates” rock!! They have NO idea how they impact me in such inspirational ways.  And that is why its soo pre-eminent that they stick around and keep posting and letting us know how they live day to day with wls.  My Dr. said wls is FOR LIFE.  No matter if you get to goal, u’ve had plastics, ur happy,,we will ALWAYS be different. And that is what makes us unique.  Even people who lose drastic amounts of weigh w/out wls, are “different” as they have had to change their eating habits FOR LIFE too. They, like wls people, will ALWAYS have to think before they put something in their mouth.

Now Im rambling.  I may not post a lot but that’s because Im “shy” and private. Lol But I read every post on the TMB. I pray for all peeps on there and I love so many of them. When I reach the 100 mark, you WILL know about it.  Peace. Ciao!

OK...I started this blog early in the a.m., had a nice looong update and then POOF!  It disappeared!  I am irritated, frustrated and have a headache, but that’s alright...things could be worse.
So, it’s been 7 months since I had my surgery.  I have been doing fabulous for the most part.  (When I follow the rules)  But I do know I need another fill.  Besides, I LOVE getting my fills!  Do I sound crazy? I really do.  I LOVE the restriction it gives me.  I mean, I never thought I would eat 2-4 bites of food and be full! 

I had the privilege and honor of being a "guest" speaker at the very 1st annual RYDObesity Conference in Dallas in May.  What an AWESOME conference!  RYD outdid themselves!! When Debra asked me if I would speak, my first reaction to myself was NO!  Are you crazy?! But then, there is NOTHING my little firecracker could ask of me that I would not do.  Besides, I OWED it to RYDObesity, who were there from the very beginning as they HELPED in acquiring my surgery, but I believe in helping others and I OWED it to the people out there who feel there is no hope, no way for them to have wls.  I will always say...I am a living testimony to what happens when a person has FAITH, HOPE and BELIEVES good things will come when you least expect them to.

I went to my very first PHYSICAL support group meeting last week ‘cause my HO was going to be the "guest" speaker.  She rocked her topic, which was about us, OH PLUS I had to show support to someone very dear to me!  I didn't realize how much SUPPORT is needed when one has wls.  I am the ONLY one in my bld at work (I work with 1700 people) that has had wls.  My family is great and supportive but NO ONE knows what I go through and how I feel.  Didn't know I would feel I was lacking in that area as OH and my friends on here have been nothing but spectacular.

I realize what a big emotional eater I am.  I was having issues a couple of weeks ago and it was very frustrating that I could not turn to food to comfort me anymore.  I HAVE to face my ISSUES.  Food can no longer control me PLUS it never helped anything in the past.  The issue was still there after I had eaten myself into a food coma AND I would gain weight as a result of my destructive behaviour.  At times, I have mixed feelings about my surgery.  Let me first say I have NO regrets being given this wonderful gift.  I would do it over and over again without a doubt.  But it is work.  And I am still in lazy mode.  I will FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE have to THINK before I put anything in my mouth.  I will ALWAYS have to make good choices if I want to succeed with my tool.  INDULGENCE is no longer an option or word in my vocabulary.     

I had not updated in a while because I had been busy but I FINALLY got to see Dr. Carcamo yesterday afternoon.  I say FINALLY because I had to call and reschedule my appt. TWICE.  Once because I was campaigning for my judge, and the 2^nd time because my family and I got sooo sick with the flu.  Anyhow, I drove up yesterday and came right back down.  By the way…the drive is getting really boring now and none of the local radio stations play any good music.  It seems to be all about advertising.  I wish I had satellite radio….So I arrived very early in SA and decided to have lunch at The Barron, which is inside the Sheraton Günter.  It’s a place I always fondly remember because I have had a couple of meals there with one of my favorite people, Ms.Yvonne.  I ordered a cup of tortilla soup and a Cesar salad.  The soup was for lack of a better word, magnifique.  It was made with a thick tomato based broth, and it was seasoned with the spices it should have been.  It had nice big chunks of soft moist chicken and it was very flavorful.  It had very thinly sliced strips of fried tortillas and it was covered in melted cheddar cheese.  I ate it as if it were an expensive truffle, slowly savoring every bite that went into my mouth.  And then my salad arrived, and I was like W.T.H.?  For some reason I thought Cesar salad came with boiled egg and croutons?  At least at Carinos and Texas Roadhouse that’s the way they make it.  My bowl of salad, which was NOT small like the server had said it would be, (it was like a whole head of romaine lettuce!) was very, plain and blah.  It had neither eggs nor any croutons.  It was just a big bowl of lettuce.  After having sex with my soup I could no longer eat the salad.  So I paid for my head of lettuce and soup and went to the Dr.’s office to wait for my appt. 

What I should have really done was to go and explore the city.  The day was beautiful, and I was wearing comfortable shoes.  Why didn’t I go walk?  I have no idea.  Instead I went straight to my appt. and waited for over 2 hours to be seen!  UGH, It was a pain.  But, I understand how things work in a medical office so there was no complaining from me.  Plus, Dr. C saved my life and he can make me wait all day long for all I care, because well, those who know, know how I got my surgery and I am grateful….yada, yada, yada…

I tell him what’s going on.  He is very impressed with my progress.  He says I am losing at the right speed.  I tell him my food issues and he says by the sound of it, I don’t need another fill, BUT we will try for a little more and if I am not happy in the month I have it…he will take it out.  So I was a 5.45 and now I have exactly 6 cc’s in me.  Food wise, I am doing better.  I don’t touch bread or tortillas, well I actually “touch” them and caress on them, but I don’t put them in my mouth. J  I still want to though, everday too…I’m not sure if that feeling will ever go away.  Health wise, I am doing GRRREAT.  I walk faster, I am no longer short of breath, feet/back ankles don’t swell or hurt anymore at all.  I’m more flexible.  Clothes that I had bought on sale that didn’t fit, that still had tags on them now fit.  It just keeps getting better.

Oh, I almost forgot, the total amount of weight I have lost is 60 POUNDS!!! WoW! Now THAT is an impressive number. 

Too much time has passed by and I was asked “coughcoughforcedcough” to update my profile. Lol  On January 8, it was my 8 week “surgivesary” of having wls.  I have NO idea what I weigh because I do NOT own a scale NOR do I want to find out until my next appt., which is on the 31^st of this month.  I have had several people ask me how much I have lost and they seemed surprised that I don’t want to know.  I told them, kindly, that right now as I am losing I do not want to be a slave to the scale, because I know the first time if I were to hit a plateau, and I see that the numbers don’t move, I will get discouraged and prolly feel like a failure, and then I will get sad, and since Im an emotional eater, I will pull out the easiest thing for me to eat, which are some Mexican cookies my mom had laying around her house the other day that I tasted, and proceeded to eat the whole little individual package which were like 8 thin cookies but they were so good and they didn’t get stuck (pause, Im taking a BIG breath) I would much RATHER weigh myself every time I have an appt.  I believe I will weigh myself when I “hit” my goal, or I determine I am happiest at the weight that I am at.  I think that weighing myself then, would be a great way for me to stay “on target”.  Yvonne weighs herself everyday and she gives herself, I think, about 5 lbs and she doesn’t let it get under or over.  I want to be like that! J    

Changing the subject, the holidays are over and I am still recovering.  THAT was hard.  I wish I could have slept through them.  The choices I made were not the best for me.  I am still recovering and having some issues getting back on track!  I must say, carbs have heroine, because as my friend says, “CARBS ARE THE FAT MAN”S CRACK” I am sooo easy when it comes to carbs. Lol Ohh and Im like an addict, when an addict can no longer afford their drug or they have no money, they resort to “cheaper” or different versions of their drug. Since I cannot tolerate bread and tortillas, I now resort to eating crackers with my food! WTH? Im Mexican, I want CORN and HOMEMADE flour tortillas!  I WANT a torta to sop up all the grease from my plate.  I could just cry thinking that I might never get to eat that again.  But, I am soo glad I got the lapband.  It TRULY does restrict the amount of food I can eat AND what I can/can’t eat.

Everyone who knows me and knows that I have had the surgery have said they “notice” I am losing weight.  This keeps me motivated.  I feel like I am being watched.  Its funny to see their eyes go directly to my stomach area, as I had “tires” and I guess they are trying to “see” if my tires are deflating. lol  And I know some day the compliments will stop, but not my determination for a healthier life.  It can only get better. 
I have had several wow moments. Let me see if I can remember some.  Well my clothes all fit really loose and I am positive i have gone down a size, but I am NOT ready to buy new clothes just yet.  With shake of my hand, my rings can fall off of my fingers. My toe ring closes all the way around my toe.  My ankles don't swell up anymore.  My feet no longer hurt when I walk several feet.  In fact a couple of weeks ago, i went block walking for a political candidate and I walked for for FOUR hours and then, I proceded to go grocery shopping for an additional 1 1/2 hrs.  I would have NEVER been able to accomplish this before wls.  I have more energy its unbelievable.  One of my most poignant moments was in Dillards a several weeks ago. I went to buy me some "respectable" black pumps, because my hoochie mama black pumps no longer fit me as they were too big.  Well I asked the lady for a size 10 and when I slipped them on, they fit!! I was soo happy, I burst into tears right in the freakin' store!  I was embarrassed because the last time I bursted into tears was at the OH convention in Sept. and I am not one to show my emotions especially in public. (if u were there, u know why. lol) Anyways, I was wearing an 11 and a 10W!  I now fit into a 10M!! How freakin' awesome is that?  My foot no longer looks like a little meatloaf with vienna sausage toes. 
I will be driving up on the 31st for my appt.w/ Dr. Carcamo and I feel I need another fill already. I find myself hungry and looking for food.  I feel like a bear, foraging for food, hey I made a tongue twister. heehee I am also eating more than I should. Hmm..we will see what the results are at my next appt.