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  • Username: msheavyhearted
  • Location: Marathon, ON, Canada
  • Member Since: 5/20/2011
  • BMI: 28.3
  • Post Op
  • Surgery Type: RNY (02/02/12)
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  • Comment by a_better_life81 on 2/2/12 6:38 am
    Good luck with the surgery! May you heal quickly with little discomfort!
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The F(at) Word!
Journey from fat to fit via RNY


Goal Wait...
on December 18, 2011 4:18 pm
Nope, that`s not a typo. Much of this process seems to be hurry up and wait. Get the referral from your family doc then wait for the bariatric centre to call. Go to orientation then wait for assessment from the bariatric team. Wait for procedures (endoscopy, ultrasounds & sleep studies). Wait for an internist to go over the results. Wait for your file to be sent to the hospital where the surgery will actually be performed. Wait, still, for a meeting with the surgeon and wait for the pre-surgery class. Finally, the longest wait of all.... wait for them to call with a date.

I started this process with a referral back in the summer of 2010 and 2012 is just a couple of weeks away. I caved in and called Hamilton and told them I signed my consent on November 29th. They said I`d get a call in January with a surgical date. That means another 2-6 weeks to find out WHEN I`ll be having my surgery. Then, of course, another wait for the actual cutting to begin.

I am FRUSTRATED!!! I know, other people have waited longer but it seems most of the people I see post in the forums get their surgeries within a year of starting the process. What can I say? I'm jealous that I'm not already one of the ones waiting to fit into a smaller size rather than waiting by the phone hoping for it to ring. I feel like a teenage girl all over again... waiting for the cute guy to call and he never does. *Sigh*

As for a goal weight: who knows. People always ask me how much do you want to lose or what size I'd like to be. How can I possibly answer that when I don't remember being any smaller than a size 20 (and then just barely)? My normal weight should fall somewhere in the 105-140 lb range. I don't even dare to dream getting below 200 lbs. I often say I'd like to get to 150 lbs when someone pushes me into an answer. That number is somewhat arbitrary but... why can't I dream just 10 lbs smaller? What prevents me from dreaming "small"?
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The Journey Begins
on December 9, 2011 1:52 pm
I'm 5'3" and I weigh 303 lbs. Isn't it interesting how easy it is for me to write/say those words? Yes, I know part of my comfort stems from the fact that this is a safe place - a place where nearly everyone has struggled with their weight for years. Unfortunately, I feel the ease with which I post my numbers comes from the complacency I have fallen into over the past 20 years. I weighed 150 lbs when I was 15. Overweight... but barely. I then proceeded to put on the weight a little at a time. A pound a month for years. It's easy to become complacent when it's a pound at a time. I didn't even really notice my expanding waistline until I reached 180 lbs - comfortably in the obese range of the BMI chart. After that, the pounds kept coming and I was exceptional at playing the denial game. Even at 303 lbs, size 24-26, and a Type 2 diabetic, I can still delude myself into believing I'm relatively healthy and I look okay (Until I see myself in pictures, that is!) . How can this be? What is wrong with me????

I'm well on my way into the process of getting my RNY gastric bypass surgery. I live in Ontario, Canada so things take time here. I love my country. I wouldn't change living here for anything. I am so thankful for universal health care. I am thankful that I don't have to deal with insurance companies. I am thankful that there are bariatric centres of excellence and a network of bariatric clinics that are knowledgeable and welcoming to people of my girth.I am thankful that I have at my disposal: surgeons, nurse practitioners, psychologists, dieticians, social workers and a co-ordinator and secretary that are awesome and only a phone call away. I am thankful that my government provides me with a grant to help defray the costs of travel to the hospital that will perform my surgery. I am thankful that the team will follow me for five years post-op and I won't have to pay for any of these visits. The only downside.... wait times. I began the process 16 months ago and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Although I don't have a surgery date yet I've been assured that it's just around the corner. It'll likely be in January 2012... February at the latest.

As I write this I:
   * struggle with my eating
   * struggle with being active
   * feel like I am NEVER going to have a surgical date
   * think I should get some therapy to help with my head before I get my "guts rearranged"
   * cannot imagine being smaller than a 2X

I'm hoping to find some people with which I can share my journey. I believe support is one of the keys to success. I look forward to seeing myself shrink in body and grow in spirit.
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