I have been noticing that I no longer shy away from talking about my weight.  I used to always feel like I was the reason people would make comments about over weight people - sort of like what they said was directed at me and they just used someone else as a cover up.  I'd always avoid discussing weight or anything about myself that I saw as a defect.

Now that I've lost 45 pounds I find myself actually speaking more often about diet and control and exercise and admitting how much more I'd like to lose.  Guess I'm comfortable about it now.  Also more people seem to talk to me - I've decided before I looked too difficult to get to know  now I'm more accepting.  Funny how things appear differently when confidence builds and one finally feels good about self.

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor.  Don;t know if I'll get a fill or not.  I have been struggling with "snacking" when I'm not hungry, am still eating too fast and having PB's and throwing up some.  Don't know if it's what I'm trying to eat or if I'm not chewing well enough.  Some things go down so easy and some just cause pain.

I'm still pleased that I had the surgery and continue to walk during my lunch hours at work.  Now that the weather is warming up I expect to work in the yard and get more exercise too.

Got on the scales this morning and was thrilled to see I've lost a total of 37 pounds since Jan 8th.  Can't say how wonderful I think this band is!  Work with it and it works for you.  Having so much fun shopping in my closet - can't wait to donate the bigger stuff and go to a "normal" rack for new clothes.

Had my first fill today.  Dr. put in 2 cc's and told me to drink 2 glasses of water before I left the office.  Couldn't even get down one swallow - was so restricted it just backed up by esophogus.  So he took out 1 cc and I felt the water flow.  Guess I was more restricted than we thought.  Go back in a month for perhaps another - glad they made me wait before I left.  Will have to make sure I chew, chew, chew.

I'm very disappointed in myself.  Yesterday I got frustrated and let it get the better of me.  Ate a very large bowl of potato soup and several 100 calorie packs of cookies.  I'm mad at myself for giving in and doing that as I was doing so well on the program.

Today is a new day and I'm back on track but trying to figure out why it was so easy to give in to old habits.  I hope this will make me more aware of what I'm doing in the future as I certainly don't want to relapse to hugeness again!

My first fill is scheduled for Feb 28th.  I think I'm excited....been doing ok so far and was told at doctor's office yesterday it appears I have a good handle on the procedures and requirements.  I've been weighing myself everyday because I've enjoyed the numbers dropping but was told to only do it once a week now that I'm on "real" food.  I know the weight will fluctuate so that's probably a better idea.

Becoming more active just because I feel better and seem to have more energy.  So glad I made the decision to do this!