Well as you may know by now my motto for the year is Fit and Fine in 2009. So i am rerally trying to break down what that means to me. yes I WILL have weight loss surgery this year and I will be well on my way  to becoming the My healthiest, but what else? I realized that being healthy for me is not only about lossing this extra baggage. Its about taking better care of my skin and my hair and really taking better care of me!   So as part of my plan, a couple of days ago I did "The BIG CHOP". S for those that may not know what that means, The Big Chop is  when you cut off all your relaxed/proccessed hair and keep it natural ( or chemical free) that is exactly what I did. I just cut off all my ends. Now I haven't had a perm for a good year and an half so although my hair is short its not bald. I feel really good about it. Its almost like starting over and since I see my journey through weight loss as a New Birth, the shedding of my "old hair" is just part of that for me.The next part for me is getting my skin together! I need to moisturize and "love " on my skin a little more..okay a lot more... I barely rememeber to put lotion...lol But I mean i cant have this pretty face, soon to be great body and nice healthy hair and ashy dry skin....lol....lol that wont work....I'm gonna check out some products and just br more regimented in regards to my skin care.....more to come

Okay so I've got two goals that i want to accomplish on this upcoming weightloss journery... I have a lot more as i am sure I wil share down the road but here are two major ones for me.


#1- Look like my kids belong to me!
              Honestly my children are beautiful ( no I'm serious check the pics lol) and sometimes when people see us together they will look at them and say " the boys are so handsome" or look at my daughter and say, "she is sooo beautiful Myisha" then they look at me and then back at the kids to see if they can squeeze out any resemblence....now they try not to be obvious...but its obvious! My boys look a lot like there dad that's true no one is denying that. My daughter on the other hand really DOES look like me, or atleast the me that is underneath all this flesh and fat. Now as for her complextion...that is just God's work because her father is darker than I am so who knows how she came out with the lighter carmel skin...but her features are all mommy. When I compare pictures of me from when I was here age we look so much alike. Even my daughter thought the pictures were of her! So I digress......I just want to be as beautiful as my kids...you know look like we belong together because we do. They are a part of me and thus  are better versions of me but I'm still fly and I want people to be able to see that. Its not even all about there features its about the fact that they are all healthy and look in shape. They have atheletic builds and i want that for myself too.Maybe I am the only one who thinks like this but oh well.


#2- Be Smaller than my mom!!!!!!!
         I can't remember EVER being smaller than my mom.Now of course as a baby and toddler ...ages like that but from 6th grade and on i know I was bigger than her! Mind you we have very different body types. We both have no butt and no hips but my mom has VERY slender legs, and a regular chest. Even at her largest when she was an 18 she looked like a small 16 because her legs and hips were always slender....the woman has legs for days. i rememeber growing up wishing I had gotten my legs from my mom instead of my dad. I on the other hand  I have a very large chestand I got the  meaty thighs...you get the picture.....classic big girl who is top heavy... i embrace it and own it so its all good! Now and days my mom is about 12-14. She is also 5.8 which us two inches taller than me. I just want to be smaller than her...noo matter how you slice it I want to be smaller than my mom....were a smaller size.....look smaller....be smaller....I will get there.... I wil get there

This is not a New Years resolution.. I actually feel a little numb about the fact that it is New Years Eve. Im here just having a good day at home with my kids and tonight we will go to church....I'm grateful but mostly feel determined... I have goals that i will accomplish. My Motto( or Myisha's Grooove as I like to call it ) right now is is Fit and Fine in 2009... I'm sooooooo excited already and I have barely started on my WLS journey... maybe its because I have been on this weight jounery for most of my existence......


So let me catch you up..... I have made up my mind to get RNY and when I make up my mind its a wrap! I have Kaiser permanente of Southern California so I know that I have to do the 6 month Options classes through them. Before I even get to get in the classes I have to get a refferal from my PCP....did I mention we haven't met yet? i have my first appointment with her on january 13th and  I WILL BE ASKING FOR A REFFERRAL. I am going to be prayed up and go in to her office with confidence and I'm getting my refferal!!!! I wrote  a passionate letter to her, I also have my weight attempt history written and I have my records from the other insurance companies I was with during my pregancies. I have been with Kaiser for most of my life so they have most of my records but when I was married my insurance was through my husband's job so for my pregnancies i didnt have kaiser...just wantto fill in any gaps she might have. Honestly the way i figure it once she takes a look at me and I start talking from my heart and she see how much I weigh, she wont be able to deny me.  Shoot, my BMI is like 55!!!!I mean I know I'm pretty( hey if I dont believe it who will) but I am wayyyyyyy huge. 5'6 and over 340...that is not cute not matter how cute you may be...no what I mean....


I'm already really excited. Today i could resist going out and getting a great blender...I know I'm months a way but this way i figure I have time to perfect  my all my recipes. I dont want to wait and then i have the surgery only to find that the standard shake is nasty to me......well any way... that is were I'm at today........I will post more when i have more to say......Happy new Year