Just wanted to let everyone know I posted a blog on wordpress.  Yeah, I usually just copy and paste it here but I just wasn't feeling it this morning...LOL  

Peace~

I probably can't put this in here the way it should be but what I am posting actually belongs to a OH member called Jupiter6 and it was reposted...I am so glad I read this post...someone needed it and so did I.  Thanks girls!!!

"I've had some success-- I suppose I can admit as much at this point, although it feels weird. So now I get a lot of people who PM asking for advice, or saying they look up to me, and flattering though that is, it's silly, because I pretty much just follow the rules (okay, the ones that make sense) and it all comes out in the wash. So I usually don't have much to add when people ask how you get where I have gotten, there's no great mystery: the reason I have been successful in some ways that others have failed I usually pass off as luck.

But that's not entirely true. I just realized it. There actually *is* one more piece, and because I love ya, I am going to share it with you now. Sounds trifling, but it contains volumes.

Here it is: YOU CAN do hard things.

I know, you're saying, "What's your point?"

Sometimes, when faced with a challenge-- especially if you're a recovering addict as so many of us are, when you approach something difficult, your inner voice says, "Holy crap-- I can't DO that"...and you do an about-face-- you reach for the drug (or Ring Ding) of choice. To feel uncomfortable..and not to comfort yourself, is a hard thing --

but you can do hard things.

When it's late and you're tired, and you know you are supposed to walk, you said you would, and it's looking like it might rain-- it's hard as hell to lace those sneakers up and get out there---

but you can do hard things.

Protein shakes can taste yucky. It's hard to remember all those calcium supplements. It's hard to get 64 oz of water in. It's hard to plan meals, buy expensive and healthy choices, stay out of the cake in the lounge at work--

but you can do hard things.

You don't have to self-medicate. You don't have to eat those chips. You don't have to duck and avoid every unpleasant, difficult challenge in your path. Sometimes, the best bet is to admit their existance..."Yes, hard things, I see you trying to get in my way, but you know what? I CAN DO HARD THINGS!"

Sometimes this means having to survive a host of feelings you never felt before because you never let yourself feel them before-- stress, confusion, anger, rage. You can't numb them out or sand off their edges-- you have to stand right in your space and let them have a go at you-- and grit your teeth, and say to yourself, "Go ahead, get in my way. I'll get through this. I can do hard things."

And you will find that you will survive them. And as you survive them, you will face new ones, standing a little taller, because in time you will eventually understand and rely on the fact that you can do hard things. And eventually the "pass me some Ben and Jerry's--my boss is a jackass" response gives way to something new-- something that sounds more like this:

"Go ahead, Boss, bring it on. I'll have that on your desk by five."
"No thanks, Nancy, it's gorgeous but I really can't have an eclair right now."
"I guess I could just park back there and walk."
"It's only 8 ounces and I don't have to love the stuff, I'll just drink it quickly."
"If I spend ten minutes planning now, I won't be faced with tough choices later."

Post RNY living is no joke. It's not easy. It's not fun. It's not all "Whee, I'm a size 6!" Not everyone takes it as badly as I did, but there were days I *literally* cried because a kid at a store could have a cookie and I couldn't. I felt sorry for myself and holed up in my jammies, burning candles, and chatting here to avoid my fridge.

When I started, I could literally not walk further than my car, which is about 100 feet from my door. I bargained with myself that getting down to maybe 250 pounds would be JUST FINE, I didn't need more than that because the thought to ask more from myself was ridiculous, impossible-- who the hell loses 220 pounds? That's not even humanly possible, seriously!

And I found out the answer to who does that : it's ME. *I* can lose 220 pounds-- I know it because I *did* it . I can get in my supplements. I can learn to accept my new, imperfect body. And with planning and management, I can make a post op life that still provides pleasure, joy and fulfillment.

And I don't do those things because they are easy-- I do them because they're hard, but I *can*. I can do hard things.

And so can you. And you will. So the next time it's all too much (and it is for me too, although less often as I grow), look your RNY challenge-- whatever it is--- boldy in the face and say, "I can do this. I can do hard things."

Then pull out all the stops and grab the brass ring-- it's there for the taking!"

I just updated my wordpress site and thought I'd share it here as well.  Some of this I had previously posted here but, it won't hurt to re-read it...haha!  Everyone have a splendid day!!!


 It has been such a long while since I posted on here and that is bad on my part.  I should at least be blogging here once a week.  I have no good excuse except that life got busy since surgery and I have been moving forward daily in my life using my surgery as the tool to a healthy me.

So let me take you to back to-day one of surgery.  I went in June 1st for my RNY Bariatric Surgical procedure, done by Dr. Kim at Celebration Hospital.  It went smoothly until I got into recovery.  They had me in there for four hours because I couldn’t keep my O2 saturation up.  I remember waking up the first time and thinking to myself, “oh damn, this hurts like someone has driven a fence post right through the center of my body.”  I raised my hand and the nurse came over, “too much pain”, was all I could muster out and then the next time I woke up was when they were trying to get me to take a deep breath.  So yeah, even with my C-Pap on it was hard to keep my O2 up above 91.

It was time to take me to my room and they didn’t move me more than 10 feet and I felt so sick.  I was so afraid I was going to throw up, which I know is like a NO NO!  I remember having them stop every 10-15 feet because I was afraid of hurling..lol!   I finally made it to the room and it was full of my family.  I had my hubby, BFF, nephew and his fiance there.  The nurse came in and immediately plugged me into the pain med pump.  With the first push, I was drifting in and out.  My family went home and I fell off into dream land.

A few hours later, the nurse came in and asked if I felt like a short walk.  We went around the floor and when I got back into the room, I started hiccuping.  OMG…wow that hurt like hell!  I was like, I was perfectly prepared for flatulation but not hiccups and belching.

By the second day I was walking on my own, they had to give me insulin shots because my sugar levels went through the roof, which is normal for such a drastic surgery.  A few shots later and I was back to normal.  I walked as much as possible.  Not just because it helps move gas but to be honest, my poor ass hurt from sitting and lying in that bed and chair.  I swear it feels like maybe they knocked the left side of my tail bone while transferring me to the bed because to this day, the left side of my ass cheek is numb.  As day two wore on they took me off the pain pump and brought me in liquid vicodin.  One teensie-weensie sip was enough to let me know I was done with the pain med.  I thought I was going to throw up and just told them I didn’t need anymore pain meds, that I can manage my pain before risking throwing up.  Can you tell I was scared to death of throwing up?  Ha ha!

The morning of day three and Dr. Kim came in and checked my drain tube and said that my STATS are great and I am walking very well, that I can go home.  Yay!  I was so excited to be able to go home.  My recliner would definitely be more comfortable than that hospital bed and chair.  I got home and spent the day in my recliner but decided that I would see if I could sleep in my bed.   I did.  I had to place pillows under my side and prop my upper body up but I actually slept well.

By post-op day four, I decided I was ready to walk outside so I strolled up about a block from my house and made it back just fine.  I was blown away.  I was so prepared to be in more pain than I have ever been in and so weak and tired that I couldn’t hardly stand.  I was so happy to discover the absolute opposite!  I have been very blessed when it comes to this surgery and recovery so far.  I think they call this the “honey-moon” phase that some people experience and some don’t.  I am happy to say the least with my decision, thus far.

On an emotional level, I have grown in so many ways.  I am realizing how important I am.  It doesn’t matter if anyone else thinks I am important or not, the fact is, I am important to myself and for a change I am putting me first above and beyond everyone.  This I am doing for the first time in my entire existence and I am okay with that.  I can imagine you are wondering why I wouldn’t be okay with it before now, well the fact is, I never felt worthy enough to be classified as important.  I know, it’s ashamed but that is just the way I have lived (and I am not throwing myself a pity party about it, I think it has happened at just the time it was supposed to happen, at an age where I can appreciate the definition).

I am so starting to define myself as a person.  I am super kind, very loving, always looking for a laugh and to help people in their struggle with emotional eating as it relates to the food addict.  Oh, wasn’t that just an educated sentence…ha ha! I have more to write and I promise myself I will write more frequent but I am late getting myself to the gym.  I still have problems with time management and am going to sit down and make me a schedule and see if I can’t stick to it daily.  I doubt it will work the way I want it to because life always has a way of throwing  curve balls.

I hope this posting finds everyone satisfied after this July 4th holiday.  I hope you built great memories over this past 3 day break, that will last your lifetime!

Peace~