ObesityHelp

 I haven’t written in a while so I thought I’d better catch up to current status. My surgery went well. I checked in at midnight the day of my surgery. I washed and scrubbed everything clean. I weighed in at 264.5 – the liquids and “cleaner” along with the 1500 calorie diet assisted me to lose 25 pounds.  

I am getting nervous and scared. I am about to change my mind. I know it will hurt and I am afraid I won’t make it through the pain. I must do this. I have come so far. I need to focus on the days and months ahead so that the fear of the now will go away.  

Hubby is here and the nurses are great. All of the staff is very accommodating. I sit and doze until morning. The surgery before mine is running longer than expected. This gives me extra time to think. Here is go again! When they come to take me to pre-op I tell Hubby I have changed my mind. He assures me that I will do fine and tells me that I am the bravest person he’s ever known. I ask him how can I be brave when I am so scared. He says it takes a bit of fear to keep you in reality. He knows that I will do well and he gives me a kiss as they take me away.  

In post-op I meet my surgical staff – or some of them anyway. I explain to the nurse that I am fine – scared but fine. She agrees to give me something to ease the nerves – it works! I remember going into the OR and seeing the doctor. After that the next thing I remember is someone shaking me really hard and tell me to breathe deeply. I try to do my best and take a big breath of air. I am taken back to the room and placed in my bed.  

The nurse tells me that I now have a morphine pump and I can give myself pain meds whenever I need them. The machine is set so that I cannot overdose. All I have to do is press a button. Sounds like a plan to me. For most of the day I sleep and press the button. I cannot begin to describe how BAD the pain is. OMG!! It is about as bad as I imagined it would be. Thank heavens for the pump. I sleep off and on through the night.  

The next day (Thursday) the nurse comes in and asks me if I want to take a shower. I know they want me to get up but it hurts like crap. She makes me anyway and I cringe and grunt with pain but I get up and into the shower. The warm water feels good but the pain is awful. Even with the pump it is hard to keep on top of the pain. I get dried off somehow and she helps me get into a new hospital gown. I brush my teeth and try to put on deodorant. I cannot lift my arms high enough to get the deodorant on but I make an attempt. I then walk around the bed and over to the upright chair. I sit there for a while. My rear is starting to get sore from lying in the bed and it is only the start of day 2 of a 4 day stay! I am in a drug haze but I know that I feel lots of pain. For the next few hours I try to find a comfortable position in the chair so that I can nap. 

Thursday night was the worst. I am on fire. I cannot get my temperature regulated. I call the nurse and ask for the fan to be turned on. The cool air in my face feels great. She takes my temp and tells me that I have a slight fever. I am given liquid Tylenol. Later that night, I am nauseated. I am given a suppository because I cannot take anything orally until Friday. Turning over to take that thing about kills me!! I sleep off and on throughout the night. 

Friday, I wake up to more pain. As I “slept” my meds wore off and I awoke to extreme pain. I used the pump to get relief but it is not enough to make me feel any better. I ask the nurse if there is anything she can do and she gives me a shot to help me. Then she tells me that I need to remember to use the pump so that I can stay on top of the pain. I need to learn to help myself regulate the meds so I can be more comfortable. After a few minutes, I am feeling a bit better and the pain is less. The CNA comes in and tells me that today I am to get out of the bed and walk on the halls of the floor. I need to do this at least 3 times today. The first thing I want to do is shower (not wash my hair – it hurts to raise my arms that high). The next thing I want to do is brush my teeth and put on some deodorant. After I get all done with that I asked the CNA if we could walk for a bit before I tried to sit down in the chair. Of course she agrees and off we go. I take about a lap and a half around the hospital floor and then I am ready to get back to my room. I sit in the chair and read for a bit while they clean my and put fresh sheets on my bed. I stay in the chair most of the day – reading – watching TV – and playing with my new cell phone. I nap when I feel tired but at least I am feeling the best I have felt in a long time.  

During the early morning hours on Friday, I told myself that I had to get better – that I had to work through the pain – that I was to use Grandma as my inspiration to get better and get moving. I am determined to walk and follow my doctor’s instructions to the letter so that my surgery will not have been in vain. So – on Friday – when the CNA was not busy, I requested to walk around the hall. Each time it got easier and easier. There was still the pain but I was working through it using the pump and my own will-power. The day went much better and the night was not as traumatic as Thursday. It was a fairly normal night – well as normal as a night can be in a hospital. J  

Saturday I wake up and am ready for a shower. Today is the day I go home. I am scared to death to go home and try to take care of myself. I talk to my nurse and she says that I could possibly stay an extra day if I needed to but she thought that I would be perfectly fine at home. The hospital was only a phone call away if I needed anything and my surgeon’s staff would be around to answer any questions or concerns I might have. This is where I remembered what I had told myself earlier – to get better and to heal – to use Grandma as my example. So I get myself together and get ready for Hubby to take me home.  

Hubby comes in and I am standing up packing my stuff. I am dressed (as dressed as I could get) and ready to get out of there. He remarks how well I am doing and is pleasantly surprised to see that I am up and fairly mobile. (Again – I made a determination to get better and to work through the pain. I wanted the new person in me to get better and get active!) We have to make a stop at the pharmacy to get my meds filled, then it is out to the car and on to the farm.  

The drive home was bumpy and uncomfortable. Thank goodness I took one of my pain pills before we left! God bless the person who invented Demerol! You ROCK! We get home and now I am looking at 7 stairs to get up the deck and into the house. Hmmm…. Not sure how this is gonna work but I must try it. I have to do this to start my new beginning!! One step at a time at my own pace, I make it into the house. I begin to unpack some of my clothes. Then I get set to rest in my recliner. Since I have to sleep at an incline for the next few weeks, the recliner will be my bed as well as my chair. I get my blanket and 2 pillows: one for my head and the other for my belly. I place a pillow on top of my belly so if the cat decides to visit, it will cushion the blow. I think I slept for the rest of the evening and into the night. I don’t think it was a particularly bad night. I was just so glad to be home that it didn’t matter.

 Ok – now I am only 2 days away from surgery and I am more excited and ready to go than ever. I would be lying if I said I was not scared as well – but the excitement is far outweighing the scariness of it all! I got more papers from Aetna this weekend regarding my Short Term Disability payments and information disclosure. I faxed the disclosure to the surgeon’s office so my income will continue during the recovery period.  

This is my last day at work before surgery. I am on clear fluids for the next 2 weeks: decaf coffee, tea, 100% juices, broth, water, Crystal Light… anything you can see through is what I am allowed to consume. Then tomorrow I will stay home because I have to drink an entire bottle of Magnesium Citrate before 5pm. I didn’t think I should come to work while I was trying to clean out the system. Besides, I don’t think my laptop can pick up the wireless signal from the restroom at work! (HA!)  

I’ve been drinking these clear liquids all day and I don’t think there will be anything left for the Magnesium Citrate to clear out!! Between the white grape juice and the chicken broth, I am about as clean as a whistle now! Better stop by the store and get some baby wipes for my bottom. I have a feeling I will be ready to scream by tomorrow night.

 Hello Again!

These last weeks have been so busy. Between my job and getting ready for surgery, I haven’t had time to write. I think in my last blog I had just met with my surgeon and received my “bible”. I was also ready to visit with my personal physician and talk to the lady in finance to see what I need to pay prior to surgery. Here are the updates for those items and more….

I am still reading through the “bible” my surgeon gave me. Every time I read it I find out something else I missed. The 1500 calorie diet is going well… still not losing as much as I would like but I am down a size. Even the new size is starting to get a bit loose. The support group at the hospital has a clothes exchange that I want to check out. I also know a few good thrift stores I can visit to find a great deal on clothes while I lose. AND – I have so many different sizes in my closet that I won’t need to buy anything more until I am down where I want to be.

I want to update you on the pre-op visit I had on 28-September. I arrived at the hospital at 8:45AM and checked in at the reception area. I was given my registration slips and headed for the lab. I was to have blood drawn for various tests. The technician had some trouble and called in her buddy to pull the sample. After about 4 different tries, they finally had enough blood to do what they needed. My arms looked like pin cushions but the bright pink band-aids were enough to lift my spirits. Now it is off to the basement to have an X-ray.

The X-ray department checked me right in. I was taken to a private booth where I changed into a hospital gown (after removing my garments from the waist up.) Then they lead me to the room where the techs positioned me in front of the machine. They took 4 pictures and showed me back to my booth where I changed into my clothes. Now I am off to the surgeon’s office on the 5^th floor.

I get to the surgeon’s office and check in with the reception area. After 15 minutes, a CNA comes to escort me back to the office area. She weighs me and tells me that I am down 8 pounds since my last visit. Downward progress it what they wanted to see. I feel pretty good – the 1500 calorie diet is working. Then she takes my vitals and does an EKG. When that is done, we move to a different room and I wait to see the nurse. The nurse comes in and asks if I have any questions.

I had her verify that I was to check in at 12:01am on the morning of my surgery. She said that was correct and gave me additional instructions on where to come so that I could get in the hospital. She also gave me a body wash that I am to use from the neck down on the day of the surgery. I can use my own shampoo and face wash. I am to use ½ of the bottle and bring the other ½ with me when I check in. I cannot use powder, deodorant, or perfume after my shower. I will need to use the other ½ of the body wash in the shower I take prior to going into surgery. The body wash is a special wash intended to kill bacteria and germs on my skin so that there is less chance of infection due to dirty skin.

I will be in a private room on the 4^th floor of the hospital. There will be wireless service if I want to bring a laptop (I don’t). I can bring my own pillow or blanket and anything else that will make me comfortable. She suggests that I wear the hospital gown and not my own clothes to avoid staining of my clothes. Since I will have a drainage tube for the first few days, it is best that I wear the gown. She also tells me on the day of surgery, I can pretty much count on being “out for the day”. She said that I will be tired and sore so I may want to discourage any visitors that day. I will not be allowed to get out of bed – maybe, if I feel like it, I could sit up with assistance, and dangle my feet off the side of the bed – but under NO circumstances am I to get out of bed that first day. I will have a med pump, IV lines, oxygen (since I use a CPAP machine they will put my mask on for me after surgery), and a catheter. She said that I am the only one that can push to button on the med pump. (The fact that she said that makes me wonder if there was a case where it actually happened – so I asked.) I was told there was a family member that felt the patient was uncomfortable while he slept, so she kept pushing the button on the pump while he slept. OMG!! REALLY?!?  Thank goodness there is a gage on the pump that only allows so much to drip at a time and only in intervals of 10 minutes or more so to avoid overdose. I was also told to stop all meds but my vitamins and my Welbutrin. I am to bring my CPAP mask and my inhaler and that is all the meds I bring to the hospital. If the doctor sees that I am going through withdrawal from the Welbutrin, she will start me on that.

One more thing that I have to do on the day before surgery is to drink a bottle of Magnesium Citrate that will clean out my system. Since I will have been on clear liquids for the last 2 days, this should not be a shock to my system. The nurse said it would take about 4 to 5 hours for everything to move through my system so plan accordingly. Once that is done, I can continue to take clear liquids until midnight. After that – nothing, nothing, nothing!!! They want my system to be as pristine as possible prior to surgery.

I also spoke with the surgical assistant. She told me that I am currently scheduled #2 for that day so I will be heading into the OR for surgery at 7am. Surgery will take from 1½ to 2 hours and recovery will be about as long. After recovery, I will be taken back to my room. She told me that I will pretty much be out for the day – with interruptions from the staff – but I will not feel like doing anything anyway on that first day. I will not be allowed to eat or drink anything the day of surgery. The next day they will remove all IVs and the med pump and start me on clear liquids. I will stay on the clear liquids for a week and then use the nutritional guide in my “bible” for the next 13 weeks. The menu plan is supposed to allow my stomach time to heal and stretch slowly. I will also be allowed to shower and walk in the room – from the bed to the shower – from the bed to the recliner – short trips. The 3^rd day in the hospital I will be walking up and down the halls of the hospital with assistance. On the 4^th day I will be able to check out and go home as long as there are no complications.

I would be lying if I said I am not scared – happy about my decision – but scared. I guess since I have had time to think about all the things that could go wrong, I am worrying for no reason. I just keep reminding myself about how much my quality of life will improve after surgery. I am remembering that things that I will once again be able to do for myself – the increased activity – the ability to stand and walk without joint or back pain. I am remembering what it feels like to be proud of how I look instead of trying to hide – what it feels like to be confident once again! To be the ME I used to be – only better!

Wednesday is the day! As soon as I feel better I will try to post updates. I hope the information I have listed here will answer many of your questions. Take care of yourself. Until next time….

 It has been about 2 weeks since I wrote anything simply because work has been so busy. My cube mate was on vacation last week so there were lots of extra tasks that needed to be completed prior to his return. I did manage to get registered with Health Partner’s Weight Loss Class and have received the materials from them. I was ready for my 1^st conference call on Wed but found out that I was a week too early – the call is on the 22^nd – no harm – no foul – I still have a week to review the materials and fine-tune my answers for the call.

I have begun to cut back on my food intake – watching more carefully what I eat and how much I eat. One of the things in the Weight Class from HP was a journal for writing down everything you eat. I did this same activity with WW and was impressed by how much it actually helps. It is a pain to write down everything that goes in your mouth, but it is essential to my weight loss.  I also received a pedometer. I have been wearing it for the last 2 days and I am more active than I thought. The first day I walked only 1748 steps. The next day I walled 2025 steps. Each day I am trying to increase the numbers so I can begin to walk more prior to surgery. This will make recovery time less – and that would be a good thing! I don’t want to be out of work as long as 8 weeks – 6 weeks is normal but I would like to be out of work even less than that – maybe 4 weeks? It could be possible – all depends on me!

I am both excited and nervous. I anticipate everything going well. I can’t tell you the things I am looking forward to after the surgery – tying my shoes without passing out would be wonderful! Being able to wipe my rear without pulling a muscle in my side would be exceptional! Running and jumping on the trampoline with the grandkids! Possibly getting back on a horse and riding with my daughter would be great! And the increased energy level – for EVERYTHING!! I cannot wait!

 I finally took the pre-op paperwork into his office after holding onto it for over a year. Wait.... maybe I should speak a bit about how I got into the morbidly obese state in which I currently reside. Like many of you that may read this blog, I was an overweight child - not always choosing the "good for your body" things to eat, but rather choosing the “things that taste good and are bad for your body". I remember being in the 3rd grade and weighing in at over 100 lbs. I was short and fat. None of the other "polite" terms like chubby, plus, husky, hefty.... could make me any lighter - I was a fat (but happy) kid. 

I grew up an extremely small town in the South where the summers were hot and we learned to swim about as soon as we could walk. When I was 12, I joined the local swim team. I was a pretty good swimmer but the swimsuit was NOT my friend. I remember a particular summer when "Marshall" (not his real name) came to stay with his grandparents during the summer. He was from NM and was one of the coolest boys I had ever seen. I had such a crush on this boy but he was WAY TOO COOL for me! (Remember I am from a small town so this was a BIG deal). One afternoon, as we waited for the pool to open for practice, Marshall begins teasing me, calling me names and getting the other kids to laugh. (My given name is Mary Gail but Marshall thought it would be cute to call me Mary Whale - you get the idea....) I was so hurt but tried to laugh along as if I was not bothered. As sad as it was, even that was not enough to make me want to loose the weight. 

Between my 8^th grade and 9^th grade year in high school, I tried out for the drum and bugle corps. I wanted to be on the rifle squad. My heart was set but the competition was tough. Against all odds, I made the squad – but there was one condition placed on my staying on the squad. The band director pulled me aside and said that if I wanted to keep the position, I had to work hard – harder than the other girls because he would not allow me to march if I did not lose weight by the time the show season started in September. I short; he told me I was too fat for the squad. He said he wanted to show a sleek looking corps and unless I could lose the weight, I was OFF! PERIOD – END OF DISCUSSION!! Again, I was devastated. I cried when leaving his office. I went home and told my parents what he said. They were angry and immediately set up a conference to talk to the director. He stuck to his guns, and I decided right then to lose the weight over the summer.  

I worked so hard, eating sugar-free this and low fat that. This was during the early 1970’s so sugar-free and fat-free were just coming into their own. The stuff was awful – but I was determined to suffer and lose the weight. I began stretching and walking then jogging. Of course, I was again on the swim team that summer. Swimming is a great exercise and worked all of the muscles in my body. I biked or walked everywhere that summer. If I got hungry, I drank water or went out for a walk or jumped on my bike – I did anything but eat between meals. By the time school started, my 5 ft. frame had gone from a 13-14 to a 6-7. I was on the squad! I kept the weight off for most of the next two years but it crept back up again and by the time I was ready to go to college, I was back at to 13-14.  

My freshman year, I too was a victim of the “freshman 10” – where you gain at least 10 pounds. My only problem was that during that first year, I gained about 25 total pounds. I was still 5 ft. but I was pushing 165 or 170. At Christmas, Santa brought me a pair of Levi’s and they were too small. I again decided to lose the weight if I could. I worked really hard and again was down to a 6-7 by the end of my Sophomore year. That was also the year I got married and moved overseas. Within a year, I was pregnant with my first child. Like a dummy, I ate and ate (after all, I was eating for two now). When it was time for me to deliver, I was as tall as I was wide – 191 lbs. Here we go again! After the baby, I lost most of the weight, but not all.  

Since that time, I have gained, lost, gained, lost, and gained again. After my divorce, I gained and gained and gained again! The last 6 years have been the most miserable of my life.  Trying to find clothes to wear to work that are not made by a tent company is difficult. I was always one that tried to look her best, even when dressed in jeans. With this extra 150 pounds, it is hard to feel you look your best at any time. My legs, ankles, and feet are constantly swollen. I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea and now must use a CPAP machine to breathe if I sleep or nap. Trying to put on shoes is a real chore! I am always thrilled when I can get my shoes on and still be conscious. Bending over is almost a death sentence because of my large stomach. I have chronic back pain and my feet ache if I try to do any walking. My knees are also screaming for relief. I am out of breath all of the time. In short – I AM MISERABLE!!!! Now that I have written all this down, I am not sure why I waited a full year before making a decision.  

For the last year I have been researching, talking, asking questions, and trying to decide if I should have WL surgery. I have decided to have gastric bypass surgery with Dr. Bruderer at Medcenter One in Bismarck, ND. I have read great things and have spoken to several of his patients (some of which work with me now). All of the feedback about the doctor has been wonderfully positive.  I am sure this will be a great fit for me as well. I am excited about the surgery – knowing that this will be a life changing experience for me and a huge adjustment for my family. They too will need to be educated in what is and is not acceptable for a life change to occur. They have assured me that they will work with me and assist in any way possible to see that I reach my goals. This is my journey, but they will also be there with me as I travel this new direction in my life.  

I have delivered the pre-op paperwork to my surgeon and his nurse has called Health Partners (HP), my insurance company. I need to complete a series of phone consultations with HP prior to seeing Dr. Bruderer. Once I have completed 5 of the first 6 calls, I am to contact the doctor’s nurse and set up my initial consultation with the doctor. I can also schedule an appointment for my psych evaluation. The doctor will schedule a visit with the nutritionist. And I am on my way. I have been told that I will be on a liquid protein diet prior to surgery to lessen the fat around my liver and to show my dedication to the surgery. After this, the next hurdle will be time off from work.  

The normal recuperation time is 4 to 6 weeks, depending on how well my body heals. Since I work on a two-man accounting team, the surgery cannot be during a quarter-end or year-end close (this is my decision not one mandated by the company). If things move quickly, I could see a surgery date as soon as September. Ideal timing would be October – not during a quarter end close and not a very busy month. This would also allow time for me to heal and get back to work prior to December’s year end close. I have saved 3 weeks vacation that I can use but there should be no problem with Short Term Disability if things run over 3 weeks. (Since I am primary wage earner, I MUST work!)  

All that is left now is for Health Partners to call so I can begin the consultation phone calls. I am so excited at what this can do for me and how I feel! I will try to write a little as time goes along to keep those of you that want to know in the loop. This is my story… and it has just begun!