• Username: nessa315
  • Location: Middletown, NY, USA
  • Member Since: 8/11/2008
  • BMI: 71.6
  • Hoping to have surgery
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Goals

To get my GED

4 People
 in progress, 
1 Person
 achieved this

feel normal in my own body to improve my self-esteem and social anxieties.

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Be able to walk without being in constant pain.

19 People
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To be able to walk from the parking lot without being short of breath

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go out in public without being ashamed of how I look

69 People
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Member Interests

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Life is too short so we gotta start living it now before it is too late to do so.... I'm starting to get sick of people telling me I'm cute but I will be a whole lot cuter and sexier if I lost my fat pouch.... I'm a great person I might not be "Model Material"...But I am Worth my words loyalty and Friendship
My blog
nessa315's Blog


another Weigh in June 22nd 2009
on June 24, 2009 10:56 am
I weighed in on the 22nd of June and I was hoping to lose 7Lbs for the week, but it was a minor downer I had only lost 2.8Lbs...So all in all I have lost 9.6Lbs this month so far. Hopefully this week I pulled off 5pounds but I guess that depends on how much exercise into my daily routine. I have set a goal weight for myself and I want to drop down to 230 and then see how it goes from there.Keep your fingers cross everyone that I do as good as I know I will do!!!!
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Good news
on June 16, 2009 1:10 pm
Well yesterday was Monday june 15th and I had my first offical weigh in at Weight watchers, I was kind of nervous to step on the scale but I held my head up high and got up on the scale... She paused for a minute and said I could step off. She said congrats Vanessa you dropped 7lbs from last monday. My heart lit up!!!! I'm hoping that this week I can have another 7lbs drop.
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Birthday
on June 10, 2009 12:09 pm
Well friday the 5th ws my 22nd birthday and my dad decided to get me a gift of good health. He signed me up for weight watchers nd will pay each time I go to weigh in. a few months ago I believe it ws september or october I weighed in at 450lbs....my starting weight for Weight Watchers is 420lbs, Hopefully I can make a good change to my lifestyle and habits. My dad is on this journey with me... I was thinking about getting  camcorder and documenting my journey into  helthier lifestyle....my starting goal is to lose 21lbs then I'm going to shot for a 140lb loss...
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Screeching Hault!!!!
on May 28, 2009 12:14 pm
Well I have moved in with my mother and have been waiting for my medicaid to run out from where I was living and that happens may 31st. So I called Affinity Health today because I was told a few months ago to call back when I moved down in the area they cover and now they say I can not get coverage because I am on Disability...So pretty much at the moment I want to give up, my mom told me not to worry about it because it's not like I'm going to see anyone this week any how... That's clearly not the point, in order for the Dr. I was refered to to see me they told me I need to get something to go along with my medicaid...I'm on SSI obviously they only give you straight medicaid and now I'm being told that this is an elective surgery so I will most likely need to pay out of my pocket.... How in the hell am I going to do that??? I'm on a fixed income and by the time all my bills are paid and what not I have only about 50 dollars to my name, That means I will be saving money for the next 5 years or so to come anywhere close to paying for this surgery....It down right blows!!!!! Everything happens for a reason right? Maybe this is a sign that it is mean't for me to be fat. I'm trying not to cry but damn it blows, I been working on this for the past 8 months for something to come to a screeching hault.

   On top of everything I have been dealing with some major habits that I have not dealt with in a while, I have been so stressed I actually picked up a Cigarette.... Yeah not the best thing to do

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5/14/09
on May 14, 2009 7:16 pm
Tonight I was watching Inside brookhaven Obesity Cinic It just tore me to pieces and I hope and pray I never have the problems the people on the show did... It was sad and my heart really does go out to them. My mother and I have been sitting here in tears, talking about making  change in our lives. We need to get Healthier, I give kudos to my mom she hasn't smoked in three weeks while I quit for eight months and started right back up again. I must admit I'm ashmed of myself....I think I'm going to take advantage of my lifetime YMCA membership I have only used about six times. I also need to get another form of insurance to see Dr. Kwon so tomorrow I am going to call Affinity and see if I am eligable for healthcare with them.

I have also been so depressed and lonely lately that I called Occupations to set up some therapy and they aren't taking any new clients.... I'm kind of pissed that the only place in town to get some therapy and they aren't taking any new patients??? Can't believe it!!!!

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Thanksgiving....
on November 30, 2008 2:36 pm
Thanksgiving was great seen family and had fun talking and chatting with lots of family... up until I had a bout of humiliation I was I was sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner when the chair collapses on me... Omg how embarassing is that? I ran to the bathroom and broke down with tears...then I go back to the table my family is laughing and all that.... and they notice my tears and tell me not to cry it happens.... I asked them if they had a chair ever break on them?  matter of fact three chairs that are suppose to be sturdy break on you... they said no of course and I asked them how would they know if I wasn't embarassed or upset about the whole ordeal.... then they want to watch "Shallow Hal"  Where the charecter is a heavy set woman and every chair she sat in broke.... that made me feel 100% better.... yeah right I felt like I was shrinking with each bout of laughter......
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updates
on November 23, 2008 5:38 am
Went to the Dentist on wed the 19 and had my wisdom tooth extracted come to find out, that tooth could have been saved the cavity wasn't deep at all and a root canal was possible.... why he didn't want to save it is beyond me I guess wisdom teeth you don't really need right? well at least it was only one tooth....then on thursday the 20th I went to the Gynecologist, he ordered a Trans Vaginal sonogram to be done awhile ago but I haven't been able to get it done.... he needs this stuff to determine if my condition is bad enough for a hysterectomy......but some good news out of going to the dr......I got weighed and in september I was 450lbs as of november 20 I weigh 408lbs that is a 42lbs drop I am so happy....
   Sadly that day my grandmother had surgery on her back done...they put a steel rod in her back because her spine was deteriorating ( withering away to nothing)....she was in surgery for 6 hours and she is doing fine resting up and all that...my grandmother is a damn trooper! and I love her for that!!!!!

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pushing forward
on November 15, 2008 8:36 pm
Well I seemed to have lost a little bit of weight I am down to 426...not sure how that is at all possible... I called Dr. Kwon's office finally and was told that he doesn't take just plain old medicaid...So either I have to find a surgoen in the hudson valley that takes plain old medicaid or save up the money and get it done in mexico....not to big on that idea though. I'm hoping with this surgery my back aches will go away, I will be able to sleep better, be more energetic, Have regular periods(the main reason my Dr. refered me to Dr. Kwon), possibly be able to bare a child....I guess I will have to keep pushing forward and see what happens
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My Story

My name is Vanessa. I am 21 years old, from New york.  I have beautiful nephews and I want to be there for them and see them grow into wonderful young men....I need get in shape and lose weight.....
     When I was in high school I used to be an active teen even though I was a little bit over weight, I played volleyball and also was in JROTC. I weighed 274 and felt good about myself... Now being out of school I been putting on weight drastically and its upsetting to me.. I have been on diets and diets since I was young and nothing seem to work I would lose 10 pounds and gain 20lbs right back... Its a depressing ordeal....I quit Highschool in the end of 11th grade in april 04 I was almost done... because of my weight I don't have a job and I stayed cooped up in my house out of fear of what the world will have to say to me... I have Social anxiety really bad due to my weight and It upsets me everyday that I went from and outgoing child to a pathetic teen-adult... I'm 21 and I should be having the time of my life.... I want to go back to school but need to shed these unwanted pounds before I do so.... 
  

     Kids can be so cruel to you when you grow up a fat kid... I been heavy since I was about a couple months old... I was born a Premature baby and had to gain weight to survive and now I have to lose it to survive.... When I was in school I was called Fatso, even teased by my brothers and sisters called fat stuff, Biscuit, the human trash bin.....Baby thunder clap, Porky, pudge.... I can go on and on.... It makes sad everytime someone graduates in my family that I couldn't graduate or go to prom and not in college making a way for myself.... Hopefully one day I will be thin enough to go back to school and make a way for myself....*raises wine glass* Here is to my future!