Figuring I won't have time to post this tomorrow.... between flights & last minute stuff, it's gonna be a busy b-day! I can't believe that I'm at goal in time for my 32nd..... just amazing! This year has been good but hard-fought in so many ways; hoping next year grants a little peace. Boring is highly underrated.... I'd like some boring! 

 .... to not murder someone. Ok, I won't. Just very stressed out. And the ONE stressor that I wish God would deliver me from is my parasitic mother. Not only did she show up last minute to spend the entire week encroaching on our space (and I mean last minute. Sends me an email on Wednesday saying she's arriving.... that day! Who does that? Oh, and overdrew her bank account and forgot her metro cards so could I pick her up at the airport an hour away? Are you kidding me! I had to cancel 2 clients because of her irresponsibility). She's worked a couple days up here and her surgery got canceled..... so when is she going to leave???? Who knows. I'm avoiding her like an infectious disease. This vent may not make sense to people who don't have a complicated relationship with their parents but just praying for some peace of mind so I don't cuss her out.

My husband reminded me of a great quote on our way home from support group:  “In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.” 
When we think of the excess skin after WLS, and the journey to get to seeing your body underneath the fat, it's important to think of this beauty that resides within us. I'm not pushing PS but I can understand why that's the final step for some. I can also understand why PS may be the step to achieve one's full potential and may feel incomplete without it. For me, I don't know if I will entirely need it to feel complete or that this journey was worth it all. I kind of feel like the marble- I'm happy now, within the rough walls, and see that even if others don't see beyond the loose skin. 

So I was playing around on the BMI calculator, seeing that my BMI is getting really close to normal and that was my goal. Well I must have been on crack when I set my ticker on a goal weight of 145lbs - that would still have me in the 25 point something range and still overweight! To be at normal weight, I would have to ble 140.8lbs or less; BMI of 24.9. Ugh! I feel like such a fraud for having my ticker wrong and saying at support group that I was only a pound away from goal. More like 6 lbs away from goal. This is gonna be a long month......