Nickycole
5 days since surgery...
Feb 27, 2011
I have read somewhere that most people go through an emotional phase shortly after surgery.. I didnt pay to much attention to it, just kinda read over it and went on... yeah well... I should have payed attention. With that being said, today is the 5th day since I had surgery, on the 23rd. We were driving down the road and I just busted out crying because I seen myself in the mirror?? What the hell was that? I mean, I have been a big girl for 99% of my entire life... im rather use to seeing what I look like and being disapointed..but uhh... I just started bawling.. lol with my fiance, and mother in the car. That was a tad embarrassing. I have no idea why? I just seen my reflection and decided it wasnt something I wanted to see. I looked pale, tired, weak, and fat. I feel like I have had damage done to my body for a second time in my young life, and I am going to fail again. I failed with the lapband, there are tons of people who are successful w/ it? Why did I fail with it? Because the lapband only controlled my stomach.. not my brain. So I have yet again had another surgery, that does essentially the same thing? If I eat to much, I am going to get sick, throw up, or die... well the lapband didnt stop me... what ever made me think this was the right thing to do?I really hope my mind is in a better state in the next couple days. These crying fits are unreal.
I also cant stand my fiance now.. what the heck is that about? I love him to death, but I feel the need to behead him? I keep telling him to go find something to do.. so that he will stay away, and I will have less chance of attacking him.
I dont want my mom far from me, which is wierd, cuz I dont even live with her, but I havent left her house since I had surgery, for some odd reason I feel that my fiance will just leave me laying somewhere stuck and no one will know lol.
Im telling you I think I have lost it. ;0) So I just put my earphones in, and listen to old classic country music that my daddy raised me on and I go back to the good ol' days and try not to think about all this stuff... wonder how long that will last?
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About Me
FL
Location
39.9
BMI
Surgery
02/23/2011
Surgery Date
May 24, 2006
Member Since
