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Category: Health 0 People in progress, 1 Person achieved this |
Member Interests
- Computers & Internet - I'm a BAF junkie...gotta get my fill every day!
- Humor - My husband is hilarious...keeps my stomach hurting, we laugh so much
- Writing - Currently writing my first novel and love writing for children and teens
- Parenting - Mother to Alexis and Delaney (I love my babies more than the air I breathe)
- Aerobics & Aquarobics - Lost 75 lbs once doing Taebo, Gonna do that AGAIN SOON!
- Dancing - Danced for 15 years- Jazz, Tap, Ballet, African...Want to do it ALL again!
- Music - Gets me up and can't start my day without it-R&B, Hip hop all that...
- Radio & Television - I watch too much TV, but I'm a reality junky, can't help it.
- BMI over 50 - Damn it- that's about to change!
- WLS in your 30's - 31 and ready to live again
Latest Surgery Support Comments
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Nicole:
We haven't heard
from you since your
surgery. I hope that
everything is ok.
Please write soon.
My surgery is Friday
and I'm
nervous...wish you
were here to chat.
Michelle
-
Congrats to you on
your surgery! Please
keep us informed of
how you are doing.
My prayers are with
you. Lois
-
Nicole:
I've been thinking
about you all day
today. Hope
everything went
well. I got a call
at 11:00 last night
telling me that my
surgery had to be
postponed until next
week - Dr had a
family emergency.
Please let me know
how you are doing
when you get home.
My thoughts and
prayers are with you
and next week you
will be a pro at all
of this.
Keep in touch,
Michelle
Click here for the surgery support page
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Welcome to Nix's Weight Loss Journey
Hi. I'm so glad you stopped by...I hope that what you read will help you in some way, shape or form and mostly I hope you're inspired! This is a journey for life...ENJOY THE RIDE!
Yours Truly,
Nix
A night out... on April 21, 2008 7:13 am
Hi all.
This weekend I had so much fun. I never knew what a new haircut can do! I mean I feel so free! I've had long hair that I wore in a ponytail forever and Saturday I just decided to CUT IT! Yes! I didn't chicken out and I mean I feel like a new woman! I went to AC with my girls and my husband and a few other friends and we had so much fun. We went to the 4040 club which was whack by the way, but we still had fun. We danced and for the first time ever, men flocked to me more than my bestfriend and I think she was upset? Not sure, but she's used to getting all the attention. I posted a pic of us together. I feel like I'm finally the person I've always wanted to be and I'm so happy! I still have like 50 pounds to lose, but it's not coming off easily and I'm not stressing over it anymore. I just follow the rules to the best of my ability and I excercise every day. I think I'll need a lot of skin removed if I ever want to get to goal and trust me, I'm too much of a punk to go through any more surgery, so I'll just have to live with the skin. RNY is the BEST decision I've ever made for myself. If I had to do it again, I would without hesitation. I wish everyone the best in their journey-whatever stage you're in.
Until next time...
Nix | Click here to leave a comment.
Added Perk to WLS I didn't realize! on March 18, 2008 5:13 am
So men- you may not want to read this because it's a women's topic, so don't read if you are squeamish. But prior to surgery, I used to have HORRIBLE menstrual cycles. I mean my periods were heavy AND lasted 7 days! Now I know I read somewhere that if you lose weight they'd be less heavy....and GUESS WHAT! They are! Now my periods last 4 days and are super light! I love it. I have less cramps and I'm not miserable.
I wonder if anyone else has noticed this...Just thought I'd share for those still researching surgery and looking for other perks besides the obvious...weight loss.
Everything is great. I'm hanging tight at right around 200 pounds (got down to 199.8 on my birthday) but this morning the scale read 200.4. Oh well- that's okay. I'm about to do the 5DPT. (5 day pouch test). I'll let you all know how it goes.
Till then...XOXOXOXOs
Nic
1 comment | Click here to leave a comment.
Happy 33rd birthday to me! on March 12, 2008 9:16 am
So, what were you doing on this day? March 12, 1975- a good day for my family! It's the day I was born! Yes, today is my 33rd birthday and I'm feeling fabulous. I am JUST under 200 pounds-199.8 to be exact. Started my weight loss journey in Sept 2006 and I was 340 pounds. So Am I feeling really good? YES! I posted a birthday pic of me today as my job sang me happy birthday and I got a singing telegram singing "She's a Brickhouse"! And you know this man!
I'm in a really good mood today and I wanted to spread some joy! Thanks for reading and check out the new pics on my profile!
OH! I also got an email from SparkPeople today and it had a message I wanted to share: 
Happy 33rd birthday to me! on March 12, 2008 9:14 am
So, what were you doing on this day? March 12, 1975- a good day for my family! It's the day I was born! Yes, today is my 33rd birthday and I'm feeling fabulous. I am JUST under 200 pounds-199.8 to be exact. Started my weight loss journey in Sept 2006 and I was 340 pounds. So Am I feeling really good? YES!
I posted a birthday pic of me today as my job sang me happy birthday and I got a singing telegram singing "She's a Brickhouse"! And you know this man! I'm in a really good mood today and I wanted to spread some joy!
Thanks for reading and check out the new pics!
OH! I also got an email from SparkPeople today and it had a message I wanted to share:
A life changing experience on January 13, 2008 12:39 pm
Hello. I haven't been on the board in a while, feels like forever, but I felt a need to post this today. Today something happened at my church that made me look at life differently. I am a member of a large church here in Maryland. It's not a super church like some that are in Atlanta or other parts of the country, but it's large, holds about 2,000 people. Today during offering a man walked into the church with a gun to his head. He said nothing, just slowly walked in, looked toward the alter and held the gun to his head. Needless to say, the congregation slowed to a standstill and then immediatley everyone started shouting, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." This infuriated the man who started waving the gun around telling everyone to shut up. He was hysterical, waving it, pointing it in the direction where me and my husband were sitting. I thought it was the end. My 2 daughters were in Sunday school in another part of the building and all I could think was that I have to get to them because what if he had other people with him and they were doing something terrible to the Sunday school kids. As soon as the man put the gun back to his head and turned his back on my side of the congregation, a member of the church, a HUGE man about 6'5", 300lbs. ran up in back of the man and tackled him to the floor. Then about 20 other men joined him. The cops were already called and on their way, but boy did the members of my church pull together and pray over this obviously insane man. I bolted out of there and made sure my kids were secure, which THANK GOD, they were and no one was hurt.
The cops got him and he's now locked up and hopefully getting some pychiatric attention.
I HAVE NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEEN SO AFRAID. I WAS NOT READY TO EXPERIENCE ANYTHING LIKE THAT. It made me think that I have so many things I still want to do in this life. So many lessons I still have to teach my girls and it really opened my eyes to the fact that anything can happen to anyone. You just have to pray and thank God for your moments, whatever they may be, everyday, because you never know when it will be over. Life is but a vapor, it's here and then it's gone, so make the most of it while you've still got breath.
I just had to post this even if for my own reference. God bless everyone and be safe!
Thanks for reading!
3 comments | Click here to leave a comment.
Archive
My Story Friday, July 14, 2006 – I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to start a journal considering this is one of the biggest decisions of my life. Today I am officially 67 days away from my life-changing G.B.S. I can’t even believe it still, because I am such a punk when it comes to pain, but would I rather have pain that will hopefully and prayerfully have a fabulous outcome, or pain that will kill me such as from a heart attack or worse? Ummm, I think I’ll take fabulous for $300 please.
My name is Nicole Crawley- everyone calls me Nix- My family that is and people that I really, really like. I am 31 years old originally from NY. I'm the first child to Trinidian parents and grew up in North Jersey and currently live in the DC metro area. I’ve been married to a really great man-Sedrick for just about 5 years and we have two beautiful little girls, Alexis and Delaney aged 3 ˝ and 2.
In the last couple of years, even though I have these girls to raise, and I am so excited since I’ve always wanted children, I feel like a failure because I am NOT a good influence when it comes to body image, eating habits, or exercise. I watch too much tv, read a lot, don’t move nearly as much as I used to or can and have become this lump on a log, that I HATE. I do dance a lot, but not enough. And I FOOl myself into chalking it up to the fact that I work 50 hours a week, have two very young children and a house to maintain, but the truth is that I’m lazy and almost 300+ pounds. Shit, I can’t even believe I wrote that down, cause it has taken me many, many years to admit my weight to myself nevermind anyone else.
I haven’t been obese all my life, but chunky, chubby, thick…you know the deal. You all have been there and done this, so I don’t have to say much about that. I’ve always been bigger than all my friends, but it was never a problem cause, “Nicole you have such a pretty face.” I don’t know how many friggin’ times I’m going to hear that crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I want more than a pretty face. I always had PLENTY of friends, enough boyfriends that I could have shared and I was extremely social and VERY popular, so I never sweat the fact that I was a big girl. Who cared? I was in dance school, I worked out, did all kinds of stuff that a fat girl “shouldn’t” be able to do, so I didn’t care. I had high self-esteem, or so everyone told/tells me. But eventually, I started doing all the diets, trying to make my mom happy, and I guess somewhere deep down, I knew I needed to lose some weight. So Weight Watchers got rich off of me, as did Bally’s and Slim Fast etc.
By the time I met my husband 11 years ago, I was 250 pounds and I’ve gained steadily over the years. I did however, lose 75 pounds on Weight Watchers for our wedding in August 2001, but on my honeymoon in Aruba I gained 11 pounds! And then a couple of months later I was prego…lost that baby at 10 weeks, and immediately felt the need to get pregnant again…Had my Lexi on Christmas Day of 2002. Gained 40 pounds during that pregnancy and then we went on a cruise to the Caribbean and Pow Dow…prego again. But no…I haven’t even lost the first pregnancy weight yet! Well along came Delaney AND 35 more pounds. So since then, I’ve lost a few, gained all + back… and here we are.
The night in May that I couldn’t make it up 2 flights of stairs in my house without stopping, was the night I decided to research medical intervention. I went to a seminar less than a week later and I was convinced. I met Dr. Afram and his staff and they knew I meant business cause I was the first one there and the first one to sign up for a consultation…
I met with him 2 weeks later and had my approval and a date of September 19th 2 weeks after that. This process has been a breeze. I can only pray that surgery will too. I thank God for helping me to finally see the light. To help me see that I’m only going to get bigger and for bringing my children into my life to help me see that I can not influence their lives the right way, if I’m living the wrong way.
Thank God for this surgery and please let it go smoothly and help me recover quickly and help me get my life back. More later…
7/24/06- Well let's see, I am now 57 days pre-op. I'm trying to prep my husband for what's about to come. We watched a special on the Health channel and actually watched the RNY done lap, but I'm having it done open. He was like, "Are you sure Nik"? I'm like, "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, 1000x YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"!
I have to do this. No if ands or buts. I am ready. I plan to go to a support group meeting within the next couple of weeks (part of Dr. Afram's requirements prior to surgery) but I'm looking forward to it. I'll keep you all up to date! Later...
8/9/06- Sedrick and I were arguing back and forth again last night. he says he supports me, but he says the doesn't think I've thought this through enough. I can't explain it to him anymore. I'm done. He said that I need to stop obsessing and let whatever happens after the surgery happen. Fine. Not another word to him. I feel frustrated.
I am also sad because my mother lost her vacation time since she started a new job and now can't come down for the surgery. She'll be there on the weekend after. That bites the big one. I need my mom! My aunt Cheryl will come instead from South Carolina. I'm happy because she is such a great help and understands me and loves me so much and has a nursing background so I know God is sending her to me for a reason. Cool. Well only 41 days until what I've cheerfully declared as, "GUT CUT DAY". Only 41 more days! ARGHHH! The anticipation is making me CRAZY!
8/10/2006
Got an email from Katxmeow (sp) today. I had emailed her to tell her how much I loved her profile and that i sat at work reading it, knowing I was gonna get in trouble. Well I printed it (all 100+) pages to use as a "guide". She's got good tips and lots of detail which is important. This is stuff the doctor is not gonna always tell you! And it was important to me that she had my doctor and had her surgery at the same place that I will. THANK YOU! She emailed me too which makes me think she cares...can't wait to meet you girl. I don't know what I'd do without this site. The info you get here is invaluable. I'm only 40 days away from GUT CUT. Whippee!
8/15/2006
Hey everyone...This past weekend I went to Jersey to see my family and pick up my mother in law and bring her back to Maryland since Sedrick had to be in NYC this week for business...so my aunt Pat and I went shopping and I got done before her and was chillin outside enjoying the slamming weather when this cute guy (totally would have been "my type" if I was not HAPPILY MARRIED) anyway, he said hello and kept staring at me. I tried to ignore him, but he kept looking at me and then came over to tell me how beautiful and "sexy as hell" he thought I was. I thanked him. He asked for my number but I told him I was married and he was like, "Damn your husband is a VERY lucky man". Like I didn't know this already! I'm just trippin yall. I was flattered. my husband tells me daily how beautiful he thinks I am and how much he loves me just like I am right now, but sometimes you think, hmmm he HAS to say that. So when someone else of the opposite sex tells you, it makes me grin. I just wanted to share, because it made me feel good and it felt nice to feel pretty again...kind of a WOW moment...IN PRE-OP phase! Cool!
BTW- only 35 days left til GUT CUT! (that's what I call my RNY) Later!
8/16/2006-I love my new profile...thank you Diane, you did me right. Now everyone can see that i represent all that is beautiful and amazing about dance and that I'm a Trini girl all the way! Yay! Thank you, thank you Diane, you did a great job! 34 days left! OMG!
8/24/2006
Hello! Well there are only 26 days left...I am shook! So I've decided to write down all the things I want to do once I'm at a "normal" size. I'm sure I'll forget stuff, but I can always come back and update...
1) Go back to Dance School and at least do a Jazz class a couple times a week
2) Wear a bathing suit without feeling like a hippo
3) Sit on the Metro without worrying if I'm going to touch thighs with my neighbor
4) Wear heels all day at work and all night at a club
5) Get Busy with my husband any damn way I please and he pleases
6) Go to the park with my kids and not huff and puff when I chase them
7) Walk 5 miles without feeling like death warmed over
8) Jog or run a mile in under 20 minutes
9) Do the advanced Taebo workout again all the way through without stopping
10) Get into a comfortable size 10-12. I'll be in heaven if I got here and stayed here forever
11) Weigh less than my husband
12) Borrow my aunt Pat's and mother's clothes- they're very trendy!
13) Wear my husband's boxers around the house while housekeeping
14) Run up and down the stairs in my house without falling out at the top
15) Shopping spree at ANY store I please
I'll add more later...that's a long list of stuff for now!
9/1/2006
Hey everyone in post reading land...
Today was a good day. Today my job gave me a food funeral. it was slam packed with food, I felt like a stuffed whale and I only ate a normal sized portion of food and dessert. But whatever, I can still do that right now, so it's all GOOD! It was fun and I appreciated it. People cooked up a storm! So, I went to Dr Afram's on Wednesday and had my day of appointments. Met with the Psych, had my evaluation...hmmm that's another story. Met with the nutrionist and the trainer. All good on those fronts. Went to an early support meeting that was packed. Interesting stuff. Then went to GW to get the tour of the Bariatric wing and instruction for surgery day. While there I pre-registered and did my admitting paperwork. Have to go back on the 14th to do a blood typing. The psych evaluation was crazy. That woman made me feel like something was wrong with me cause I told her I don't believe in therapy with a person who doesn't know you and is judging you based on "problems" in your life. She had alot to say, but I'll keep all that to myself before I get mad. And finally, I met my girl Nicky. Ktzmeow, who had her surgery 10 weeks ago w/ my doctor. We met at the 2nd support meeting that I went to that day. We planned it and it turned out we were the only two there. I feel like I've known her forever even though we only met on this site. The psych lady Maia, said we reminded her of eachother. We have lots in common. She is going to be a good friend. I thank her for all her support thus far.
I actually gained 6 pounds since April...crazy. i can't wait for all of that to stop. I'm nervous, but I feel I've prepped as much as I can and I'm ready.
Check y'all later.
9/5/2006
Today I am 2 weeks to the day away from surgery. Prayerfully, this time in two weeks I'll be begging my husband for ice chips, chapstick and morphine...
I have been in a fog all day cause I get a panic attack everytime someone says only 14 days away Nicole...damn it, I know, I know! I am nervous and my heart palpitates. I know this is the right thing to do or else what? I'll die! I will die young and not see my beautiful little girls graduate from college, or get married, or have babies or anything. I won't get to rock on the porch with Sed when we're old as hell and gray and wrinkled. I won't if I do't do this. I'm just going to keep on praying and i ask everyone to pray for me. Pray for the Lord to give me courage and strength and for me to be at peace with this decision. PLEASE!
9/8/2006
Hello. I've been feeling nervous for the past few days and I prayed and asked God for some guidance. Am I making the right decision? I've got a few days to change my mind, but something in my gut is telling me, I'm going to do this.
I've decided this morning that I am going to smile, have a positive attitude, not be afraid, remember why I came to this decision in the first place, ask God to walk with me into the O.R., guide my doctor's hands, put understanding and compassion in the hearts of the nurses who will take care of me and give my family and friends assurance that I will be okay.
Attitude is 97% of this and I'm making sure I have a good one. And that's all I have to say about that...
9/15/2006
Okay this is it...4 days before surgery and I just now finished all the testing. Upper GI? All I have to say is GROSS. That Barium was vile, but it's done and now I'm sucking down my coffe and a Krispy Kreme...which is the last one I EVER intend to have. I don't even like donuts like that, but something about not being able to have it is making me want it.
Anyway, I had a scare last night because the hospital called and left a voicemail that went something like, please call us at 8:30am regarding your 9/19 appointment. I'm thinking Oh GOD, they're going to cancel it because my iron is a little low...I didn't sleep all night. Then when I called this morning, all it was is that they thought I missed my appointment to get my blood crossed and typed. I just went in 2 days earlier is all, and no one checked the chart to see that I had been there already.
So that's done. I'm all set. All I need is for my PCP to fax my medical clearance letter and I'm good to GO!
I am ready. I am ready. I am ready...
See you all in loser's land. One...
10/2/2006
Hello! I am back! Had my open RNY done on 9/19 and the surgery was successful, Thank GOD! The pain, oh my goodness the pain...there was not one person that I talked to pre-op that was able to describe the pain, but I'm here to tell you, the pain is awful...the gas was so bad, it was trapped in my neck, back, chest, shoulders, everywhere...I am NOT exagerating. I could not and still can't get a comfortable night's sleep....and mind you, I did WALK, WALK, WALK and walk somemore...nothing would move the gas. It just took time that's all. Anyway, I am now feeling much better and today is my first day back at work. I am having some pain of the actual incision, but other than that, I feel fine.
All food is going well. I have not dumped because I don't test a damn thing...I am doing what the doctor says. I drink my 2 protein shakes (unjury w/ milk and carnation instant breakfast in the morning) (unjury with water and lemon in the evening ) and I have 3 high protein meals during the day (2-4 oz.) at a sitting. Everything stays down. I am on pureed foods. The only problem I've had so far is when my husband pureed salmon. I had the poops the next day. Other than that, eating has been no problem. And I make sure to eat VERY slowly. I know that I need to get more water in, so I'm working on that.
When I went in for my 1 week post op visit, I had lost 14 pounds. What???? Yes, I said 14 pounds! In a week! It has taken me 3 months to lose 14 pounds in the past! Are you kidding...so is the pain worth it? Well when I stepped on that scale, it damn sure was!
I want to say that I have the most incredible support system. If it weren't for my husband who stayed by my side the entire time I was in the hospital, bossing around nurses and begging for a day bed to sleep in so he wouldn't have to leave me, I would never have made it.
If it weren't for my mom who came and took my kids to Jersey for a week while I recovered, I wouldn't have made it. She kept all 4 of her grandchildren 2 of mine and 2 of my brothers. She rocks!
If it weren't for my aunt Cheryl who nursed me and made me walk when i didn't feel like it and ran up and down the stairs on her bad knees to get me whatever I needed while taking care of the kids for those first few post op days, I would never have made it.
If it weren't for my grandmother who called me everyday and sent us money and came and stocked the house with groceries, and toiletries, and a new blender, I wouldn't have made it.
And all my friends, other family members, my coworkers and my girl Nicky, that I met right here on Obesity help, who actually came to the hospital at 8:30 at night to visit me just because she promised and she cared...All her experience and kind words and encouragement is/was invaluable to me and I am grateful to have her as a friend. Thanks NIC!
And if it weren't for the Good Lord who I prayed to constantly to help me through the pain and to help me get well, I know I wouldn't have made it, so I'm grateful, thankful, unworthy and blessed.
Thanks to everyone on this site who sent me well wishes and asked about my progress....I pray everyone is well.
Thanks! Will update more later.
Surgery Day Weight: 334 lbs.
7-day Post op Visit: 320 lbs.
October 3, 2006
Today I am 2 weeks and one day post op. It is the first day that I have really felt nauseous. I was driving to work and stopped a little short and I felt like my protein shake that I'd only taken 2 sips of was going to come up. It didn't though. Then all morning I've been feeling crappy. I tried to take one of my prescribed meds for gallstone prevention and it felt stuck. It's only the 2nd day on those. I'm scared to take the other 2 I need to take today. Argh!
Otherwise I'm okay. the steri strips finally came all the way off the incision last night. What an ugly scar. Even though it's only 4 inches, so I should be greatful. I've never been vain about scars and such, except on my face, but something about having this dark line on my belly is weird. Whatever, what's done is done. On a positve note my pants were really really big this morning, but I don't see Dr. A again until next Wednesday. I'll report more then. bye.
10/12/2006
I have broken out in hives! Oh my gracious, this is miserable. The only thing I can think that I've used differently is this new Soy Protein we bought from GNC. It tasted good and I started it on Monday. I noticed the rash yesterday, but this morning, it has spread to my face, back, behind, neck, arms, legs everywhere! I bought Benedryl and thought it was working but it's only getting worse as the day goes. Hmmm, the other new thing I'm taking is chewable Flinstones, but I've been taking those for 2 weeks now. I also bought Stallone's Pudding and looked at the ingredients today and sure enough it also has soy protein! So I think I'm allergic. Weird though, cause I used to eat soy nuts all the time. I am going to see my PCP tonight. I hope I can get a shot and I hope he knows what to give me since I'm only 3 weeks and 2 days out of surgery.
On another note, I have lost another 7 pounds for a grand total of 21 pounds in 21 pounds in 3 weeks. Dr. A says I'm doing wonderfully! He did say I need to start really walking more. Which I plan to right away. I'm just so tired by the time I get home from working all day, that I just want to eat dinner and sleep. Also, I don't know what people are talking about, but I do feel hungry every day. Not starving, but I need to eat my meals. I'm not saying I can eat alot. I can eat slightly less than 1/2 cup of food, and maybe that is alot for some people at this stage, but I can and then I'm satisfied. I'm glad I can eat because I do have lots of energy during the day, but at night? Forget about it!
I have to admit that I have been feeling a little down in the dumps. It sucks that I can't eat when I want and I am mourning my "binge" eating a little. I actually got sad when I made my kids grilled cheese sandwiches and I couldn't eat one too. I actually got sad! How pathetic is that? Sad over food. I hate that. It's at those moments that I wonder why I've done this. What's in store for me. When will I mentally feel better again? I know I'm losing weight and I should be happy. And I am, but I'm also a little depressed. All I want to do is sleep and watch tv, which sucks. My kids keep saying, "mommy are you sick still?" That makes me sad, so I get up and walk with them, play with them, sing songs etc. Has anyone else ever felt this? Right now I'm wondering if I did the right thing and will I be able to get through all this. Anyway, I'll update more later.
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