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NLFMINMD's Profile

Name: Mary M.
Username: NLFMINMD
Location: MD, USA
Member Since: 10/14/2011
BMI: 37.9
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How I got here.
on November 30, 2011 4:42 pm

My name is Mary. I just turned 50. My mind feels young but my body feels old. I live in MD. I was in married for 13 years and after my second daughter was born I started to gain weight...my heavy weight back then was 145, now that is my goal weight. My ex-husband was in the Coast Guard and then became a Police Officer (Type A personality all the way, I was Type B.) He became emotionally abusive toward me about my weight and many other things so I ate even more because this was one thing he could not control. He left me for the neighbor (and my friend at the time) so I dealt with this by spending the next 10 years alone except for my daughters and grandchildren. Food was my companion during that time. My daughters did me the biggest favor ever...they told me I needed to get a life. I started to diet, joined a gym and lost 30 lbs. I was feeling great. I am now with an bold boyfriend I dated for two years back in my early twenties. Of course I gained the weight back and am now the heaviest I have ever been. My boyfriend loved me the way I was but now I have gained the weight back plus some. I hate the way I feel about myself and it is having an impact on my life. I have made every excuse and then some for my weight and it is time to stop. I will finally have insurance that will cover bariatric surgery begining in January. I know this is the tool I need to help me get on track. I know how to eat healthy, my problem is portion control. I am hoping to have surgery late February. I want to have the sleeve. I wanted to have LRNY but I am not a canidate since I have Celiac Disease. I am excited and scared. I read stories of people who start falling back into old/bad eating habits after awhile and worry this will happen to me. But, I do plan to make this work. I am going to surrond myself with others who are positive and successful. I know what the "high" of losing weight and having more energy feels like and I want that feeling again! I want to live, not just exist!

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