It all started at McDonald's.  Yup, I admit it.  I was eating a happy meal, and started to feel... icky.  Couldn't put my finger on it, but I was just "not right".  I went back to work, and figured I was dumping.  As I sat there though, icky turned to pain.  I thought maybe I was cramping or something, and expected a trip to the restroom.  Didn't happen.  I kept drinking water after waiting an hour after eating.  I went to Walmart, I went to meet up with some friends, but just felt so awful.  I tried to lay down while waiting in car, but laying down was much less comfortable.  I went home, with pain now in my abdomen and my back (i have a back injury that likes to flare up when I'm freaked out).  I took some tylenol and some muscle relaxers and went to bed at 7pm.  I was still convinced I was dumping (6 hours later...).  The only comfortable position was fetal, and even that wasn't comfortable.  The drugs eventually just knocked me out.

When I woke up in the morning I was still miserable.  I put a call in to my surgeons office and started googling away to find out what was wrong with me.  I figured it might be my gall bladder since I still have one and the onset was during a fatty meal.  When i finally spoke to the surgeon's office, they told me to come in right away.  I was there in 20 minutes.  They looked at me and decided to send me for a MRI, and admit me to the hospital.  I was admitted, and waited 3 hours for my MRI.  the oral morphine was not touching this pain.  When i finally got the MRI I had to lay flat, which sucked since that was the most uncomfortable position. 

Within an hour of coming back from the MRI the nurse came to my room and told me I was having surgery.  I didn't know what for still... no one had really told me anything.  They finally explained that I had an internal hernia - that with all the weight loss, my insides were loose and my intestine had wormed it's way upward and gotten kinked and needed to get untangled ASAP. 

Thankfully my delay in heading to the hospital did not cause me to loose any of my intestine, no perforation, nothing.  This complication is a real risk that we face as bariatric patients.  I think 5-10% of us will experience this.  Once they fix it, we're good, and will not experience this kind of hernia again.

Lesson learned - if you've never felt the pain before - CALL YOUR SURGEON!

i used to have straight hair.  Now I have curly hair.  you can watch the changeover in my progress photos.  It's funny. 

 

and I'm wearing size 6 jeans!!!  They used to be my sister's so maybe they're well worn size 6, but I've got a bunch of size 6 pants.  I'm not gaining or losing, but it's all still changing!! 

Happy Surgiversary to me!

Since my last post I have temporarily moved into my mom's house (she has a pool and it's finally hot, so this ain't so bad!).  I move into my new apartment Labor Day weekend.  I even am treating myself to a new living room set (I've never had brand new livingroom furniture!). 

My ex and I are on remarkable terms.  I'm not sure how he is taking the break-up, as we don't really talk about that, but we've helped eachother out as far as packing and moving out, etc.  We've seen eachother a few times, including today when i picked up and dropped off the dog for a visit with me at the pool. 

I had my 9 month visit with my surgeon where he declared that I have lost 81% of my excess weight and thinks I can stop losing any time i want.  I also met my first goal of weighing 160.  I originally picked 150, but was worried that it would be too small, so i aimed for 160.  Now that I'm here, i think i'm gonna try and push for 150, but my REAL focus is getting in shape.

My brother-in-law and I are going to run a 5K together in October, so i've been training for that.  I've never run before, so this is a real exciting thing.  When i participated in the breast cancer 3-day and walked 60 miles in 3 days, I wanted my next physical accomplishment to be running.  5 years later, (and 113 lbs less) i'm DOING IT!

i'm so grateful.  for the OH community, for my friends and family, my surgeon, my employer who didn't exclude surgery from my insurance!!!!

I'M LIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A lot has happened since i wrote last.  I've met a few of you in person, which is great!  I truly believe that they way to "win" here is to stick with the losers!  I may go to the 0-6 month meeting at my hospital forever if it keeps me on task!

I bought my first size 10 pants last week.  I was planning on saving them until fall - they were a bargain at Sierra Trading Post, but i tried them on when they arrived, and HELLO, they fit!!!! 

Unfortunately, immediately after that, my boyfriend and I broke up.  Literally...i went downstairs to show him the new outfit, we got into a petty argument, and then the shit hit the fan.  This has been a long time coming... we've both tried working hard at our problems, but the truth of the matter is, sometimes there are irreconcilable differences.  No, my surgery did not cause this break-up.... it may have sped it up, and for that I am grateful.  We are two great people who didn't need to struggle for any longer than it took to learn our life lessons.  

I sound very optimistic about this, and I am - I know that i can get through the break up, even as I'm sitting in my mom's house because I'm staying with her for a few days while I look for an apartment.  BUT - no matter how much you know something is the 'right thing' for you, doesn't seem to take the pain away.  he was staying with friends, but i had to get out of our place because everytime i looked at the dog I cried (he's keeping the dog).  I think it will be fair to split up the time we spend at home.  he gets weekdays and I get weekends.  My mom lives close to work, he's with his friends on weekends 1/2 the time anyway. 

Other good news - i was stuck in a bit of a stall for a while, hovering at 98 lbs lost.  then i lost 1.  then 2.  this week 4!!!!!!  I'm down to 167... my original goal was 150, then i pushed it up to 160.  Now i'm just stunned.    7 lbs from 160.  People refer to me as 'tiny'.  I'm going to a family function in a few weeks and i look forward to having my picture taken with my family - so I can see what i look like in relation to people i think are tiny. 

ok, that's enough rambling for now.  Please keep me in your prayers during this difficult time.  and pray that i eat.  I've got that anxious knot in my ....stomach?  i don't know where it is...but I'm not interested in food.  But I'm doing all i can to keep up the protein and water.

So I made it into a size 12 last week while i was on vacation.  I didn't mean too... I just put on some short that my sister gave me for my birthday, and happened to see the size 1/2 way through the day when i was in the bathroom.  12???  Sure enough. 

12 is what thin people wear.  My sister was a 12 for many years.  She looked great.   She was skinny.  I was a size 24, and apparently I was fat.  She's gone on to lose some weight and is a 6/8.  I'm a 12.  I guess I'm skinny now too.  It's hard for me to see that when I look down.  All i see are lumps of skin here there and everywhere.  When I'm dressed, I kinda see it.  pictures are good, especially when I'm wearing "supportive" items under my clothes. 

It's very confusing, loving and hating my body simultaneously.  I'm finally thinner than I ever thought I would be (seriously, I've never been on a diet), and while I do appreciate it, I still feel like i look weird, clothes don't fit right, look at these thighs in a bathing suit!!  I'm petrified of plastic surgery, and my mother almost acts like I'd HAVE to get it...and she might even pay.  There's something unhealthy about all of this, I'm sure of it, but I can't sort out her stuff when I've got my own to contemplate.