Just home from Florida...we went down there with a friend of mine...Dean and I had the most romantic time....
we walked on the beach at night holding hands and he wrote our names in the sand in a heart! so sweet.
my weight still hangs out around 200 although I did manage to put on 5lbs while away.  I'm very satisfied with my WLS results. my skin is another thing. it is most inconvenient while sleeping...I dint lay flat. I have to adjust the skin before falling asleep and ohh my if I move around in my sleep...BAAD back aches in the am. but it works itself out while taking care of the pups. ....

I am almost 3 yrs out...I do NOT regret my WLS...it not only saved my life I got a 2nd chance at living....if you read this and are trying to decide if surgery is for you.....
WLS is LIFE altering
you will NOT be able to eat all the things you used to and NOT as much as you did...this is a GOOD thing.
You WILL have "buyers remorse" but the benefits of living over existing....well only you can be the judge of that.
you will hear ALL the "stories" they can be scary...bad things can happen....BUT as an obese person cant bad things happen quickly ?...I for one was SOOO scared of having to be cut out of my house if I ever fell or passed out when I weighed  over 500lbs....I think that most of all motivated me to start looking for a surgeon...I knew it was only a matter of time and something bad was going to happen to me...
I was dying.
When I cant eat the food I crave for whatever reason....grease and sugar can make me feel SICK.....I am HAPPY...because after a few times of really being sick...those items of food no longer interest me...at ALL. I finally have some power over things I should NOT eat!  Lets face it if I would have had the power to say no without surgery I wouldnt have weighed over 500lbs.
 WLS is NOT an easy way out of dieting...it is the ultimate diet always working for you in your favor if you use it correctly.
Understand your proceedure and what it will mean to the rest of your life when making your choice....
Good luck to all making the hardest choice...to live or to LIVE!
Nutti/Lynette

Well I finally made the call....I have my first consult with a Plastic Surgeon I found out about 3 days before my incident at work that I still have medicare coverage and than a few days ago I was overheard talking about wanting some PS and how no Dr around here did the type I need or take medicare and a listener piped up and told me about a Dr in Springfield who is taking medicare and does the pannilectomy so I gave the office a call and yes all that info was true and I have an appointment for April first... at first it wasnt going to happen...the receptionest asked me how much I weigh...I told her around 210 give or take...she said oh well he may want you to loose more before he sees you Im like hun...I weighed over 500lbs for almost 3 yrs IVE GOT SKIN! I carried over 300 for all of my adult life...IVE GOT SKIN!!! LOL also..I have been basicly this same weight for about 6 months and with my hernia I am unable to do the kind of excersizes needed for more weight loss and because of the skin weighing me down in front my back protests daily so its my hope that all of the back issues I have will be enough for at least my lower half to be done...whatever that means...thigh lift,pannilectomy,butt lift. keeping my fingers crossed. the next step is to take photos....I have some taken before I had my surgery in my bathing suit and it is not pretty...as it isnt pretty now...LOL but the fact is...skin stretches and although I KNEW it was going to be a fact of my WLS you never KNOW until you actually know. yanno??? so even though I HATE...HATE... the mere hint of more surgery I am willing and wanting to do it at least this one last time to be healthier. I hide it well in my clothes but its there and Im now ready to take the next step...at least find out what needs to be done and IF medicare will pay for it. today I am wearing my size 16 jeans bought from the Mall....makes me wonder what size I will wear after PS....intriguing nutti nutti's minis http://community.webshots.com/user/nuttiwebgal all things nutti http://www.geocities.com/nutiwebgal/      Full Edit Quick Edit

well the new job didnt last long....they laid 45 of us off on Jan 5th
I did quailify for unemployment but havent decided if I want to find another job or if I want to go back to school.
seems like if Im gonna do it I should do it now.
the kids got moved! I am so happy! they now have a place of their own to mess up and yell and scream in...of course Im talking about the momma and not the precious babies! I miss them like crazy but it is sooo good to have quiet in my house!
I am still hanging out at 215-220...is it a stall? am I done? I dont know but Im not worried about it.
the way I figure it I got about 30lbs of excess skin hanging around my deflated body and if it were removed I would be way under my 199 Wl goal....I have upped my bike riding to 25 mins a day and upped the protien.
  I have to admit I am slidding back into old ways...its scary and its frustrating but again after all I have been trhrough I know it will all work out...because this time I recognise the bad behaviors and can curb them.
during the holiday season I didnt try and watch myself but now Im back on  track. very mindful of my calorie and protien intake
also started doing arm excersizes with hand weights in an effort to tone up these bat wings.
 its cold,snowy and icy..good time to stay in the house and excersize!
nutti
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for once in my life my New Years resolution is not to loose weight....not that I think I have lost all that I have to loose
but I decided on my Birthday that I have done all that I could to ensure a healthier me and if that means a smaller me than so be it...at my present weight and clothing size I could be happy....I remember being this size in my 20's and crying about how FAT I was...isnt it funny now after all I have been through and how FAT I did become that now I am happy with my size.
I can walk....I actually outwalked my DH at the mall the other day....I can breathe and I can buy clothing anywhere I go to shop...ok not the mall but considering the prices there Im not to worried about it.
 being able to purchase clothing from Wal-marts or a t-shirt at the FleaMarket or go to rummahge sale an know that maybe Ill find something for myself is such a warm fuzzy feeling.
  since I last wrote not much have changed in our financial situation...our home of 18 yrs is still up in the air...it now feels like a never ending money pit of Hell...the more we give the bank the more they want and still no sign that if and when we finally do all they ask will we still be living in our home of 18 yrs.....we still have our son and and his family living in our home....with no signs of leaving....Dean did tell them be out by the end of Feb...all that got him was dont be expecting any more money from them...HAHAHA as if! they have been here since Sept...and I think maybe they have given us 500 all together and both of them were working....now she isnt an he is only working part time.....I want them OUT and I dont think I have the strength emotionaly to take them all to a shelter....the babies I can stand...but my son or his GF are another story.
  my disability is now gone along with it my medicare...so there will be no pannilectomy for me....even though the weight of all the excess skin is killing my back...all I can think is that if I keep working to tone the muscles that it will get better....dunno what will happen with the hernia but I will not dwell on it....I will not do any lifting and tugging...and hopefully it will not become worse until such time as I get some ins...which wont be at my new job...the pay is good but the ins comes out in each check to the tune of 280 per check and well thats a tad ok its WAY to much money out of my check ...I have to keep feeding the money pit. so I will not dwell on the fact I have a front butt and it weighs more than the one behind me...LOL. the 17 yr old daughter skipped so much school last semester that she lost all of those credits....IF she returns to school after the break and does well she should graduate....she says she will...and I hope she does but frankly I see no indication that it will happen at this point.
   My emotions are often erratic...I am very diligent about taking my meds now....but am not on hormones...I simply cannot afford to go to the OBGYN anymore. she gave me a clean bill of health the last time I went so Iam good for now.
  as for my weightloss at this time it has slowed down considerably...I dont think Im done loosing just yet but if I am I will still think that WLS was successful for me.
I dont get sick often but when I do it is bad...I actually got sick on Christmas eve on ham....I ate it to fast and did not chew it enough....OMG the pain was horrible and I even tried sticking my finger down my throat to get it up and OUT but no...I am soo anti throwup that I could not give myself relief in that way. so I suffered for 4 hours...my mom is now giving me grief about seeing my bones...I told her to chill out...it is strange seeing my collar bone now after all these years of not seeing them.but untill Im weighing in at 150 or less than Im still good. I still take my chewable vitimins 2x a day and calcium and make sure I get in 80 grams of whey protien which is the kind or protien that our bodies absorb the best. I also take biotin and Lysine for hair and skin health.
I feel pretty good about all Im doing for my health....maybe I could do more excersizing but really Id like to start lifting weights for the toning...but all of that excersizing envolves tummy muscles and mine has a baseball size hole in it...so Im very reluctant/scared is more the word to do that.
  I did go dancingfro New Years eve for the first time in 23 yrs....we usually stay in and throw the bash here...but ohhhh how I danced...for almost 3 hours straight...it was great. but ohh how I did pay for it the next day.all my muscles were sore and tired.
   I think Im all caught up for now.....
New Years resolution......to find joy each day
                                             to live each day like its my last
                                         share my story as much as I can and maybe touch someone on their path twords a new beginning.
I am excited to see what this yr will bring to me and my family.
nutti