I have not noticed looking thinner lately but for the past week I have been looking at my wrists and have discovered something... I have been in denial for as long as I can remember...I always thought I was big boned and that was why my wrists were huge, come to find out that my wrists are shrinking and now they look so small to me, its rather weird. So now I constantly stare at my wrists as if I have just discovered they exist or at the least they have sprouted alien heads. I had a very big NSV the other day... I was able to sit indian style, I havent done this since I was a teenager and since I am almost 31 it feels like that was an eternity ago. I keep having fantasies of all the clothes I will be able to try on, the jewelry I can now wear and the shoes I may be able to fit into one day... I really hope this becomes a reality one day because it is such a confidance booster to feel "normal".

-Nicole

 I went to the ER yesterday with extreme pain in my abdoman and while in the middle of the emergency room lobby I ended up having a seizure... I have never had a seizure before and all I can say is I was scared to death... they couldnt find anything wrong with me as far as the pain went and told me that I would have to see my primary care doctor to figure out why I had the seizure.... so im home with a terrible headach and just want to go to sleep.. so im going to go do that.

 Today I got in less than 50 protein but I did get about 5 cups of water so not too terrible. I am so tired most of the time that eating just seems like a chore and everything I eat makes my pouch ache... even water. No one has told me when I will feel normal again, and I am starting to think that maybe this is my new normal? I dont want to live the rest of my life being able to feel my stomach every waking moment... its scary. I did this drastic thing to feel better and I really hope that happens.

 Today I barely drank enough water (probably only 3 cups) and barely ate anything... I got in 1 full cup of my protine powder drink and a quarter cup of another... I hope tomorrow is better, I just struggled all day.

-N

 Yesterday I started my puree food stage as well as taking all my vitamins and protine... and sadly yesterday was painful and uncomfortable. In the morning when I took my morning pills I must have taking them to close together because I was in pain right after, like sweating and where my pouch was it felt over full so I thought I was dying lol. the first real puree food I had was mashed potatoes and that went down great with no problems. I also had my protine shake with 1% milk and that went down great as well. Later on twords bedtime I decided to have my second protine shake but this time to use light soy milk.... that was a huge mistake. The soy milk gave me such bad gas that I told my husband to shoot me lol... I have decided to never drink soy milk again... period. that was horrible. 

Today I woke up with a sore belly, im guessing from all the trauma it suffered yesterday... it probably feels abused. anyways I hope today goes better because its mothers day and I feel that as a mom I deserve a little slack.

-N