Onmyweightohappiness

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I can't believe it's 9pm on a Sunday night already! Where did the weekend go? I feel like I accomplished nothing although I cleaned, did laundry, chased Gage around, went thru my paperwork, did my to-do-list and still feel like I got nothing done! Always too much to do and never enough time to do it all in! Seems to be my life the last year.

I had my 4th doctor's appointment on Thursday. I gained 4lbs. I just feel like I am blowing up like a balloon I don't know what is wrong. It's so fustrating. No matter what I do or try nothing is working. Work out is gonna go into high gear this week. I just keep telling myself you have two more months to go until you can get the extra "tool" you will need to help you get a healthy lifestyle. I am trying to remain patient but it's so hard somedays. And it's hard I don't have a lot of people that can relate to me. It's always the people that have never had a weight issue telling me advice. No offense but if you haven't been thru it or aren't going thru it your advice doesn't mean a whole lot to me. You will never understand or know what goes thru my mind on a daily basis. It holds me back in so many ways its not even funny. Today I wanted to go back to church, we haven't been back since Gage was born. Of course the first 6 months of Gage's life we were told to keep him in as much as we could, then the swine flu and flu outbreak happened so I was too paranoid to take him anywhere unless I had too. So now I felt ready to get back to church, he can go to the daycare there while we go to church to meet and interact with kids. And of course what was my excuse this morning. I have nothing to wear. I have things to wear, I just don't feel good in anything anymore. Ugg this is fustrating! Anyways got side tracked, back to my appointment. Nothing major, just went over that things are winding down to surgery. Mentioned to her about I still haven't decided on a surgeon yet, she told me to bring the list in that I have that are approved thru my insurance and she can help me out. Also was asking her about my insurance because I am confused what they cover. Anyways after telling her what my policy states, my surgery might be covered at 100%, again she said to bring in my paperwork and she could tell me exactly or give me some advice. So that would be a blessing, if not, I am not getting my hopes up until I know for sure. One of my "to-do" things is to call a few surgeons she suggested to see if they are in-network with my insurance. So in the next few weeks I would like to have more of an idea who I would like to do my surgery. By the end of March is my goal to have someone picked out and it set in stone they are doing it. I also talked to her about doing Laser hair removal, if you know PCOS you know what I am talking about, the excessive hair growth. It's annoying and embarrassing. Anyways she started doing Laser Hair removal in her office. She has done two treatments on her armpits and she showed me, she hasn't shaved in three weeks and theres barely any hair there. I asked her how I would fair with it and she thinks I would be a perfect candidate. So I may start doing that here in the next few months, it's $150 a session and hoping I don't need a ton. But it's on my wish list for this year to accomplish. 2010 is about me, yes I am being selfish for once. I am taking care of me and doing for me like I should have done a long time ago. I can't believe this was my 4th appointment, 2 more to go!!!!!