3/23/08

Hi and Welcome to "My Story."

I have had struggles with my weight as long as I can remember.  At 13 yrs. of age I remember weighing 170lbs.  I dieted myself (more like starved myself) over that summer to 140lbs.  Over the few years my weight slowly began creeping back up.   My weight continued to climb and the next recollection of how much it was was in 1974 (?) and I was about 185lbs.

The following year I had my first child.  I gained some weight with that pregnancy but was back to my pre-preg weight shortly after his birth.  However, it kept going up, and in 1981 I remember that when I went in to the hospital to have my second child  it was 232lbs.  Once again, I managed to lose the pregnancy weight.  Soon, I was "down" to 199lbs.  Two and half years later I delivered my third child.  This pregnancy was different in that I actually lost 4 lbs. while pregnant and a few more pounds in the hospital.  By the time I went home my weight was 187lbs.  So, you see, I can't really blame my weight problems on having babies.  I would love to - but nah - I can't!

From that time forward, my weight continued to climb.  I can specifically recall weighing 212, 248, 268, 270. I remember 270lbs. clearly - it was April of 2000 and I had had a stroke.  After that I just stopped weighing myself for a long time.  You can imagine my horror when one day I decided to check my weight and was at 303lbs. and continuing to climb.

Over the years, I like many people tried every kind of diet imaginable.  I lost weight on all of them, was sure that I had finally beat this problem, but gained it all back and then some everytime!!!

In early 2004, I began to research weight loss surgery. I was so very worried that I would have another stroke and this time it would be fatal.  So, I read everything I could find about WLS and in early spring of 2005 made the decision to discuss it with my doctor.  She felt that I would be an excellent candidate for it.  That was in March and I was approved for surgery already in May.  On July 1, 2005, I underwent RNY and I truly believe it saved my life.  I have never for one moment had second thoughts about making the choice to go forward with it.

I am not quite 5'6" tall and my highest weight was 336lbs.  I am now a little more than 2 1/2 years post op and my current weight is at 216.  I lost weight very quickly the first several months and hit the 100lbs. loss mark about 9 months out.  Over the last year and a half my weight loss has slowed down, almost to a standstill.  

First of all my appetite has come back the last year and a half with a vengence.  Thank goodness I cannot eat the amounts I could pre-op but I definitely am eating more than I should.  Also, I am one of the fortunate ones who since the surgery cannot tolerate sugar however, that doesn't always keep me from eating it. 

Plus, I am not excersing 5 days a week as I did for the first year or two.  As we who have gone thru this surgery know - it isn't a "magic bullet."  We must take responsibility for using our pouch as the tool to aid us in achieving and maintaining a healthy weight.  I have gotten off track but slowly and steadily am getting my act together again.

For example, as recently as a couple of months ago my weight was stuck at 225lbs.  However, by giving myself an "attitude adjustment" I have managed to drop 9lbs.  And I am getting back to excersing - still only a couple of days a week and not always every week, but at least I am moving in the right direction.

I hope to have a tummy tuck done as I have a very large amount of hanging skin, espiecially in my lower abdomen and it has caused some problems with comfort and health wise as well.  After I reach "Onederland" I will pursue getting that done.

I truly am addicted to food and will use it to comfort me when I'm sad, to celebrate when I am happy, and for almost any reason one can imagine.  I am re-thinking my strategy for dealing with lifes ups and downs.  Another area I am working on is getting back to strictly following the "Rules of The Pouch."  Particularly, remembering to NOT drink anything with meals, nor for at least an hour after, and to also water load up to 15 minutes prior to meal time. 

When I began this journey I knew it wouldn't be easy and there would be bumps in the road and there is no end to it.  Like most of us, I just didn't realize just how bumpy that road can be at times.  Taking charge of my health is a lifetime comittment.  Now it is up to me to work my way through the "bumpy" times.  I believe I can and I will.

So, check back every so often and see how I am doing.  Thanks for stopping by.  I hope that reading my story will in some way help you to reach your goals and make your dreams come true! 


SURGERY DATE:    7/01/2005    336lbs.   Height Almost 5"6"    GOAL is 168Llbs. "ish" After my tummy tuck, I hope to be at about 158lbs. and maintain that weight.

3/28/2008
Heading toward "Onederland!"  220lbs.

4/3/2008   218.5lbs.
4/7/2008   215.5lbs.
4/12/08     214lbs.
4/14/08     213lbs.
4/17/08     217lbs.    I have no idea where these 4lbs. came from.  Very upsetting!
4/19/08     213.5lbs. Now - thats better!
5/4/08       214.5      Here we go again!  Bouncing back and forth with that same couple of lbs.  What is going on?  This is so frustrating!!!  At this rate I wonder if I am ever going to get to "Onederland?"  The scale is not moving, but I am in a smaller size jean (Size 16) than I was just a couple weeks ago.  Plus, my panniculous is hanging lower and looser.  I really want that tummy tuck but doubt while I am still over 200 lbs. the insurance company will allow it.  I have begun to develope rashes and raw spots on the underside of it and it is quite painful at times.  Plus, I am bruising very easily and look like I was in a car wreck at times.  Can anyone  give me an idea what is happening?  I am really confused as to what is going on with my body right now.
5/10/08     211lbs.   
5/12/08     210lbs.    Slowly heading toward "Onederland!"
5/18/08     209lbs.
5/20/08     208lbs.
5/21/08     207lbs.
6/2/08      208.5lbs.  Back and forth with the weight!  Ugh!
6/12/08     215lbs.    I have been stuffing myself when ever I feel like it and the scale is showing it!  The more the stree in my life escalates, the more I eat.  I've got to get back on track.  I pray I can find my way back.....I'm so depressed.
6/15/08     211lbs.  Moving in the right direction again!
6/24/08     208lbs.  Keep on moving toward "Onederland!"
7/06/08     207lbs.
7/09/08     206lbs.

7/15/08     204.5lbs.
7/16/08     207lbs.   I GIVE UP!!!!!
7/25/08     202lbs.
8/10/08     205lbs.
8/18/08     204.5lbs.
09/25/08   199.5lbs. ONEDERLAND!!!!!
09/27/08   198lbs.
09/29/08   197.5lbs.
10/08/08   195lbs.
10/12/08   193lbs.
10/15/08   198lbs.
10/18/08   195lbs.
11/10/08   178lbs.  I am now almost exactly one half the weight I was at the time I had surgery.  168lbs. was my pre-tummy tuck goal weight.  BUT, this is way too fast a loss to be healthy,  considering I am 3 1/2 yrs out.  Really big drop in just a few weeks, probably due to the ulcer and difficulty being able to eat.  I am sure some of this will come back on when I am feeling better and able to eat properly again.  I will be seeing the my bariatric surgeon next week Monday and will talk more about this them.  Strange thing is that my blood work results (at least so far) are all coming back as normal.  I must admit to being a little worried.

Plus hubby had a dr. appt. today and the word is not so good. This of couse adds to the stress.  I pray for an end to this suffering soon.  It is of course most hard on Steve, but the rest of the family is suffering as well.  Lately, I have had doubts that our prayers are even being heard.  I just do not understand what the Lord's plan for all this could be.  Nothing positive that we can detect for sure. 

For those of you reading this, there may be some who disagree, so be it. But until one has traveled the road we are on and have been for several years, you have absolutely no idea as to what it is like.