Jehovah God Almighty, I come before you today in tears as your humble servant in prayer. I am going thru some hard times mentally. I ask that you give me the strength to endure these times as did your Son Jesus Christ. I ask that your spirit continue to guide me in endurance rather than revenge as this is not how your Son would have done. I ask that your spirit continue to lead me on the path to true righteousness and forgive me when I fail or leave this path as I am an imperfect human being made in the “likeness” of you.   I know Jehovah that it is not your wish to see that families are being headed by single woman, but I do know and trust that should that come to be my fate again, you will give me the needed strength to move forward.   I ask that you be with my husband during this time of need. He needs your direction and strength to help him see in which way you would like him to walk. I ask that you be with his mother during this trying time and bring her soul within and out and give her the strength of endurance that she may need to help fight her cancer. Jehovah, I know that my husband loves his mother dearly and I can’t compete nor do I want to but I ask that your spirit cover him and give him the strength he is going to need. It’s not easy to think of losing a loved one and it’s even harder to lose a loved one so I ask that your spirit be with him and his family even if we end up not being a family ourselves.   I ask that you help me be a better mother, better wife, better servant, and better person as these are also the keys to blessings in your eyes. I know that you will not give me more than I can handle as I trust you will always be there for me. I know that you don’t leave us even if we leave you. I ask that you be with my children, protect them and keep them safe from the ugliness of this world today and all the tomorrows. We are all going thru trying times but you are the key and the tool to keep us protected. I ask all these things in your Son, our Sovereign Lord Jesus Christ name.   Amen

One week from today's date I will begin my 2nd and hopefully final journey in having WLS. I have been waiting anxiously for May 6, 2009 and it's finally near. I would really prefer the VSG but if RNY is all my insurance will approve then I guess that's what I will be having because I am just so ready to get this over with before I lose my nerve! My back is starting to hurt if I even think about exercising and everything is starting to move slowly for me. I am planning on starting medifast again until I can get a surgery date after my appointment next week so hopefully all is well.

OK, I just realized that time is flying by. I have my initial appointment to see the Surgeon on May 6th and that's 3 weeks from today. I called my insurance last week and asked them a lot of questions about approval and they just keep telling me it depends on what your doctor says and as long as it's medically necessary there shouldn't be a problem. So I am hoping that I can be in and out of surgery at least by July. I don't know how practical this is being that I just signed up for Pacificare and I asked for the surgery referral in March; however I know that the doctor has been monitoring my weight but we took an intermission in 2007 due to my pregnancy and then we picked it right back up in like September 2008. I am hoping I have done enough dieting in the last 13 years that we don't have to go there. I knew back then that we may have to visit WLS so I just made sure I did go to the Dr all the time for monitoring me in my Weight loss journey.

Ok, I am getting very anxious while waiting for my first appointment for this second time. There is a big difference than when I was first approved for this surgery in 2004. Although, I already knew a great deal about this surgery because my mom had it done twice I was still not sure but was like might as well it didn't feel like it does today. Today I can't wait until May 6, 2009. I am not sure how this insurance thing works but I have been doing Jenny Craig, Medifast, Green Tea pills and the drink, Acai berry pills, colon cleansing pills, etc for the last 2years and I am still a big beauty.

My husband is being very supportive and he just keep laughing because he says this surgery is all I talk about. It was our 2nd anniversary yesterday and we have been thru a lot our first 2 years and now it appears everything is finally getting together for us. We have this deal that on my 1st surgeversity that he is going to pay for my body lift. I told him I want to get my Beyonce on!

I guess we will see....in the meantime I will continue to stalk this website.