Well yesterday I call myself updating my weight tracker and I will be updating my goals to be realistic. I decided that maybe getting down to 140 would be a more realistic goal than the 120. It's not that I don't think I will get to that weight but thinking about it, I don't think it will look that good considering I want to have some kind of thickness to me. I have never wanted to be a bean pole and at 120 that's what I would probably look like!! But if it happens it happens.

I am pleased with my weight loss but it's not as smooth and fast as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong I am happy with my RNY but I just thought the weight would fall off effortlessly! Don't know why but I did think that. I haven't really bought any new clothes because I still have to get it in my head that I won't be in a size 18 or 20 again but for now I just like how they hang loosely....it makes me feel like I am doing something. So for right now I will say I am wearing a size 18 comfortably! However I was wearing a size 20 and some times a 22 for comfort before surgery. I did buy a few size 14s because I know I will need to have something a little smaller sooner than later but I am not trying to buy that many clothes until I am estastic with my weight loss (lol), now that will probably be when I get in those 14s and possibly 12s then it's time to become a fashionista!

I had set a goal to weigh 200 by the end of December but it's looking more like I may barely be out of the 230s; so I am going to revisit that goal but I think I will leave all the other goals where they are....I at least want to be that 150 my PCP wants by my 1st surgiversity!

I am still having problems with most chewed foods and I am praying that gets better at least this month. I can get anything that's mushie and I don't dump on sugars which is a plus. I talked to my sister who had the surgery about 5 years ago and she just said get the protein in and up the exercise; and that her stalls were around 24lbs lost, 48lbs lost, and then somewhere around when she lost the 60lbs plus lost and then it was smooth sailing from there. I have stalled in the first two but haven't made it to the 60 lbs loss yet since surgery. At the rate I am going it will be another 2 months before I get there!!

I am taking advantage of the slow weight loss as a means to thinking that maybe I won't have that bad of loose skin! Oh everyone seem to notice that my boobs are losing weight! Well I will keep everyone posted.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I am 11 weeks out and what's my struggle? Well, I am still trying to figure out what's good and what's not. I am truly tired of throwing it up! If it's soft and mushy I can tolerant it. But if it's something I really need to chew it doesn't work for me. I am now in a size 18 comfortably but it's still a little hard to realize I will not be back in that size ever again. I can't wait until I am past this stage and finally into the knowing stage.

The husband and I are somewhat into a bad stage but we started counseling yesterday. For the first time he really apologized and meant it but I am still just not in the forgetting mood yet so hopefully that counseling will work. My goal for this month was to be 200 lbs before the end of the month; however I doubt if I will make that goal because I had been at a 2 weeks stall that has just been broken recently. I am trying to convince myself that I am OK with the slow loss because of the possible sagging skin issue (lol), it's true I am OK with it but I, just like anyone else would be just as happy if we woke up and the weight was gone period!

I am one of those people that like to analyze anything and everything that goes on in my life and I am now starting to ask myself will I miss being that big girl that I have always been. I still haven't grasped the fact that less than a year from now I will be below 200 lbs, 150 lbs, etc. I am both excited and scared at the same time but I am quite sure that I won't have time to really think about it since I will be finishing my Master's Degree while getting ready for Law School in the following year.

I still haven't signed up for that exercise program yet but hopefully that will be sooner than later but I am not one of those people that can actually stick to a structured exercise program. Anyways glad that God has blessed me with another day.

Love y'all OH.