ObesityHelp

Hey guys,

I made such wonderful bonds here that I want to let you all know I spend a lot of time at myspace. So, if you would like to catch up and/or see how I'm doing, you can find me at www.myspace.com/wubbytubby . I look forward to hearing from you guys.

Hugs,
~Dee

Hello My fellow OH'ers; greetings and salutations. As you can see, it's been well over a year since I've written in me journal. So much has gone up with me health wise that I truly don't know where to begin. The fatigue got much worse for me, (has become very troublesome) I suffer from chronic pain, and irratic sleeping patterns. My diabetes has kicked back in and my irons are dangerously low. I continue to take 2-amino irons daily; along with my multivitamin and other organic medications to help me.
This is only a part of the disappointment of my health as I've put on around 70lbs. since last year. I've had my slip ups, but for the most part, especially since the beginning of this year, I've been exercising and eating right. I went to my PCP in late April and with dieting and exercising, a month later I had put on 10 more pounds.
I've been having trouble with heartburn, nauseation, fatigue, cramping, hunger, and blood sugar levels. My Dr. has suggested I do an upper G,I. to determine if I have a fistula and from what I've read on the pages here; I too am wondering if this is something I've been struggling with and didn't know it.
I say this, because it is very easy to blame yourself for failing the surgery, even if for the most part your still using your tool.
I read that a fistula can cause some metabolic problems as well as the RNY for some people and I'm thinking, "Hey, I'm one of those people".
I have been fighting and fighting to figure out why I've been feeling so terrible for the last 2-years and no help has been given to me. If any answers come my way, it is because *I* worked it out; along with me husband.

I went to my yearly and bi-yearly appointments and when I told the doc I wanted a revision; I was immediately informed that revisions were't done at St. Joes. I was even told I am still a success and should be happy with the weight I have lost. Happy? This isn't what I paid for; my success story, for me, is to be down to a decent size, be able to fit into clothes that can be bought in any store and not some specialty store, and be able to maintain my weigh loss. I don't consider myself a success.
Everytime I called to complain about how I feel physically, I'm immediatly given to the nutitionist. After awhile, you begin to feel you're not being taken seriosly about what's going on with you; that somehow *you're* failing to *eat* right and doing what *you're* supposed to. It makes me depressed; perpetuating the feelings that I'm the one who failed the surgery.
Well, I don't buy that! I have done what was asked of me! I'll admit, the frustration and hunger issues have had me in spells where I did not use my tool correctly, but those were few and far between; and certainly not enough to put on 70lbs.!
Another aspect to my weight gain is medications I've been put on. I have been put on 3-different medications which have side effects of weight gain, so it feels as though health and meds are working against me.

I'm going to continue my fight to get where I want to be; a healthy and smaller human-being. I've decided that I'm going to seek a revision and research the DS. I think this is what my body needs, but will not make a fnial decsion until I further investigate it. I'm going to look into Dr. Husted's clinic and go from there. 

So, this is where I'm at right now. And, as anyone can see, it's a disappointing saga. If anyone would like to offer support and guidence; I would most welcome it!! 

Thank you,
~Dee

I apologize I've not been updating my journal. I've been struggling with a lot of issues and stress in my life; I just didn't have the energy to post anything. 
I didn't even start a thread or post on my anniversary date. I wanted too, but just didn't. I've lost almost 140lbs. and I'm happy with that. 

Here's the thing; I'm suffering from depression. I've been put on an antidepressant. What started this depression is a number of things, but suffice to say I was taking a medication that had a side effect of causing depression. *BOOM* I became depressed! 

My stomach is haning down so far on my lap. I'm not really losing a lot of inches in my hip area and this is because of the skin aspect. I'm told I will have to have plastics, but I keep wondering in the back of my head how I'll pay for this. It is constantly causing me sciatica pain, along with back pain, and I had my first rash last week. It's constantly bothering me and makes me feel so heavy. 

I'm still struggling with fatigue. I have had every test done to see why I'm always so tired. I did a sleep study and it came back normal. (good news since I had severe sleep apnea before surgery)
I've had my thyroid checked a few days ago and I've not heard back from my doc, so I'm assuming everything with that was fine too.
My iron is good, blood sugars are good, and there just simply no explanation for this, what I call, debilitating fatigue. 

I did go see and allergist on Friday of this last week and he told me I had several allergies, one being a nasal allergy, He did tell me this could cause the fatigue I"m suffering from and is going to start me on injections. He gave me other medications to work with and I started those yesterday. 

I'm thinking about finding me a chiropractor again and even a natuarlist. I do have an appointment on the 3rd of January with one in Alabama. Mike's mother goes to him and recommended I go too. So, I'm going to give it a try.

As you can see, reading this post, I'm sure you can feel my somber mood. 
It just gets me, because I have not any reason to be so depressed. I'm dong well in school and am even making new friends. 
I just feel so heavy. 

Mike and I were finally able to reinstate our YMCA membership, so I'm optimistic exercising will help with my fatigue as well. It did some in the past, so there you go. 

I am working at letting go of the fact I'll never have a child of my own. I'm not giving up on the fact I'll be a mommy some day though. I have met a lady who adopted 2 children through a foster care program and she told me when I'm ready, she'll help me get set up. So while I can't do anything like that now, it's good to know I can in the future when Mike and I are ready. 

Now for the stuff about the surgery.

My appetite is back with a vengence. I am able to eat most anything without having any barriers to keep me from eating it. Hence, no dumping effects. 
This isn't entirely true however, because last night I tried eating a slice (or two) of pizza and half way through the second slice, it hit me like a ton of bricks!
I've never thrown up after surgery, but last night was the first time I did. I had to lay down and sleep it off. 

I'm feeling motivated to get back on the program, especially now we have our membership back at the Y. 
I'll be doing the South Beach Diet and watching my carbs. 

My weight loss has been nill since I've been off track, but again, I'm optimistic exercising and eating low carb will help. 

I will update again--about 2 weeks to let y'all know.