My main goal is to become healthy. 150lbs.

Not much going on lately.   I thought that I'd update my blog since last time - back in June !!  I know - I'm bad.......but I work most of the time and don't remember to get some things done that I should.  Looking back on my surgery date and beyond......I'm going to regret not keeping better logs of whats been happening to me on what date !!    I'm 9 months out and well - I just can't believe that I am 3 months way from being out 1 year already !!

I don't get much time for ME - lunch periods during the week is full of running home to pick up daughter for work and getting her to work and then getting back to work in 1 hour.......  soooooo I have planned some trips and hopefully the budget can take the gas woes !! 

I have finally gone back to a full schedule of 3 jobs - working about 70 hours a week between the 3 jobs.  The next few weeks will be less than that because I actually have plans to go to OKC during the weekend of 8-8 thru 8-10-08 (just before my B-day) and I'm gonna go spend much needed time with family and church friends.  I can't wait.

Since scheduling that time for ME - I decided that on Labor Day weekend, since John is off work back to his Sundays / Mondays, I am going to go to Llano, TX to spend the holiday weekend with him.  I didn't realize how much I missed him until I actually decided that this is what I'm going to do -  now I'm anxious and really excited - all except for the drive back and forth for both the OKC and TX trips !!  3 hours............to OKC and then about 4 hours to Llano - depends on which map I guess you follow.   Who knows !!  I'll figure it out when I get there !!  lol

I'm looking forward to the WLS / July 26th BBQ at Stephanie's house in Rowlett.  Thats coming up really fast.   Daughter is off work that day - so I don't have to be anywhere at any certain time !!   WHEW !!  :)
The outing to the Rangers Game on 8-23-08 and contemplating a trip to 6-flags all day earlier in the day that day just to be with people that I love and can be ME with and they won't judge me for being still overweight, etc and whatever things come up on that day.   I'm worried about NOT being able to fit in the seats in some of the rides, having to be humiliated and then getting out of the line when I realize that I can't FIT IN THEM STILL !!  grrrrrrrrrrrr.............  That still hurts mentally and I will never forget that !

I have been on a 2 month stall and on the Monday Morning Weigh in on 7-14-08 - it finally broke.  I was down 5 lbs.  I'm getting in about 104 oz of fluids including Atkins Shakes for protein, etc........so I'm really excited about that and my energy level has seemed to recovered  from my April Sicknesses and has really blossomed once again.  WHOOO HOOOO !!
I weighed in this morning 7-18-08 and have lost another 2 lbs. - I'll take it !!

I actually am getting to the point where if I can't get my excercise or walking in - I feel really guilty and down and out about it.  I've been about 1 1/2 weeks without getting to the gym and/or any walking other than in the office............I JUST GOTTA DO IT FOR ME AND NO ONE ELSE !!  MAKE THE TIME OR ELSE !! 

That's all that is happening lately with me and whats coming up.....Thanks for checking in on me.    xoxoxox (((hugggsss)))) 

Well, I think that I'm becoming one of those scale ho's that we all talk about on the TMB (TX Message Boards)........I swore that I wasn't gonna do that...but now - I'm becoming obsessed with the up and down 2+ 3+ etc..you get the picture...

Well - I was excited when I got on the scale Saturday morning to find that I think that I busted through one of the tough (many more to come - I'm sure) plateaus and I lost 3 lbs.     Facing a family picnic later in the day -  I knew that I was gonna splurge a little just because it is a picnic..........but surprisingly - I didn't do too badly.   I stayed within somewhat with the exception of eating 3 SMALL cut brownies, but I just couldn't resist them.
I had a few potato chips later in the day and they just didn't even taste good.  I took my protein shakes and cheese and turkey - so that when I felt that I needed to pick around on something - I had something within my limits to choose from.            I did good.             The weather at Lake Eufaula was beautiful - the temps were just perfect.  Towards 7pm the wind was just stagnant and really got sticky then...........but can't complain.  GOD WAS GOOD TO US AS USUAL !! 

I baked brownies for at home last evening.    I took the bowl and spatula directly to the sink and submerged it in dishwater quickly so that I wouldn't be tempted to even lick my fingers...........NO BATTER FOR ME !!  IT WAS REALLY TEMPTING - BUT I feel that I came this far and I'm not gonna start by testing this and/or that any more than what I have.

I knew this weekend by me catnapping and not sleeping well at night - that I must be in another fat burning stage because I'm sleepy - just not sleeping through the night.  Took me about 45 min to go to sleep last night.   I am tired today and have nodded off several times.   OOPS !!  lol

Have a GREAT day !! 

Hey - I've made another weekend (2 now) without being in the hospital. I guess that is a plus huh?

I am afraid that since I've been eating a little more food that I am going to start gaining a little weight back.  I feel that I ate too much on Thanksgiving Day and well, the scale doesn't show that I've lost any since last Monday, but I guess that is okay too.  Dr. Matin wants me to lose at the max - 15 lbs by/on the next appt on 12-17-07.  Another words - NO more than 15 lbs in the next 4 weeks.....I was at 285 when I was in his office and he doesn't want me any less than 270 and states that I need to start eating more, so I have been...but I guess then I need to start walking more too to counteract some of that too !! 

I feel and I'm afraid that I'm becoming obsessed with losing weight and getting to feel better and looking better too and that may NOT be such a good thing in the long run, so I am going to call an EAP advisor that I have access to from work and maybe start on some counseling to deal with weight loss issues and the in/out of that task and learning how to cope with the body changes.

I return to work on 12-3-07 and I'm a little nervous and I don't know why.  I guess because there have been so many people doing my job for me that I'm afraid that they won't need me anymore and I'll feel rejected.  I am anxious on working with another co-worker "LU".  She is just a wonderful lady and so upbeat and just Loves God with all of her heart !!