I had my one year visit.  Total Lost:  90 pounds.  I really would like to lose 10 pounds more, but I am struggling here.

My gastritis seems to be the biggest road block right now.  The prilosec is just not cutting it.  I discussed at my doctor visit and she put me on Nexium for 20 days, which helped.  Now I am back to prilosec and I can feel that pain again - which makes me want to eat to make it go away.  Calling the doctor today to see if she will put me on something stronger again.  I am disappointed that I can't seem to get that last 10 pounds off...  Now with the holidays it's been harder to find time to excercise, too.   I joined the gym at work so that I now have two places I can go - the rehab center near my home and the gym at the office.  

I had two cysts removed from head last month and when the nurse went to remove the stitches last week, she remarked how much hair I had!  Ha ha ha.  After all that I lost!  So, all of you out there reading this -- it does come back!  I started taking biotin pre-op and still do, so maybe that has helped it come back in.

I find that I can tolerate some sugar now - sneak a cookie now and then.   But any more than that, or any large portion of refined carb or sugar - I dump.  Break out in sweat, feel dizzy, have to go lie down.  (No puking anymore.)  

It's wierd - I wish I could feel the way I did right after the surgery.  I had no interest in eating and could go for hours and hours without thinking about it.  Maybe it's the gastritis, but now, I get that feeling in my stomache that I want to eat.  

Happy holidays to all of you pre and post opers out there!  I hope reading this journal gives you some hope, peace of mind, or information that you need.  I would love to hear from any of you.  If you have any questions or just want to chat.

My email address:  patricia_rockwell@hotmail.com
   

I am now 4 months post-op.  Total lost:  61 pounds.   Down to a size 18 from 24.  I feel lighter.  ha ha ha.. really, I do.  Like I have this spring in my step now.... not that heavy cumbering kind of walk like I was dragging a huge load.  I am at the weight I was back in 1986.  My goal right now is to weigh less than my dear husband, Tim.  Seven more pounds!    Ladies, I gotta tell ya'....  what a difference in the "romance" department if know what I mean.  I wish I had done this surgery years ago.

My hair continues to fall out at an alarming rate.   Any parts I make in my hair reveal noticeable bare scalp.  I am told it will get better by the six month mark...  I hope I can make it without resorting to wigs or scarves!   

My hands are always cold.  My double chin has receded slightly, but the skin looks like crepe paper.  Looking for some kind of cream I can use to improve the looks of this.  Probably something with retin-A or glycolic acid.  My arms are getting flabby.  When I walk, I can feel the extra skin just above my knees wobble back and forth.  Creepy feeling, but at my age, I can deal with it.  If I was younger, I'd probably want to get  plastic surgery eventually... 

The weight loss is slowing down to about 1.5 pounds per week.  I started eating some carbs...  1/2 slice bread, a taste of pasta.  I thought I would miss this stuff immensely, but, you know, after waiting so long to taste it again, I'm not impressed.  I can do without.  I'll stick with the protein and veggies and fruit and eat a little carb when it's something really special, like home-made Greek spanikopita.  

I'm doing better at eating out.  When my meal comes, I immediately cut my food into the 1-cup portion I will eat now and push aside the portion I will take home (or give to Tim).   This helps me avoid stretching the pouch.  I also spend a lot of time cutting my food into little pieces.  That way I end up finishing my meal at about the same time as everyone else.   

Oh, man, what I mistake I made last week!  I treated myself to some fat free-sugar free vanilla ice cream (Turkey Hill) and added some fat free-sugar free chocolate sauce for added flavor.  But I grabbed the wrong bottle of chocolate sauce from the fridge!   It was the regular kind - which my daughter pointed out to me the next day after I suffered much of the night with diarrhea, hot flashes, nausea, sweats, cramping, you name it.    At least I know my "tool" is working!

I am 11 weeks out (about 2 1/2 months).  Guess what?  I hit the Ones!!!   Oh, yeah....  uh huh... whoopeeeee!!  I am now 198.  I have lost a total of .... drumroll please....   a total of 50 pounds.  Yes, life is good.  I can actually say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.  As I write this, tears are falling down my face -- tears of happiness and appreciation.   Yes, for the surgery, but more importantly for everything else going on right now.  I have the best husband in the world -- a man who would "swim through shark infested waters to bring me lemonade."  I have two of the sweetest, smartest, kindest, most wonderful daughters in the world.  I have a great job, a good home, make enough money to put food on the table, pay the bills and go on occasional family trips.  I feel fantastic.   I am so grateful for all that the good Lord has blessed me with.   Somedays I get strong feelings of my Gramma and Popou watching over me and helping to guide me.  I thank them, too.  I miss them so much.

Some AHA moments:  Being able to tie my shoes without sitting on the bed in contorted positions.....   Fitting into a restaurant booth (no more scoping out tables with regular chairs!).....  Slipping my opal ring onto my finger, which hasn't fit for at least 10 years......  Walking out of my shoes because my feet have gotten smaller.....  Hiking up 3 flights of stairs at work - which I could never do before without running out of breath....  Being able to scratch parts of my back with my own hand, not a ruler or backscratcher.....  No more swelling feet..... Less back pain....   Friends asking me if I got a haircut or styled my hair differently (no, I didn't -- my face looks different because it's got less fat packed in!).....  Fitting into my "skinny" clothes....   and... best of all....Having my 16 year old daughter tell me that she is proud me.  Now how cool is that?  Makes it all worth while.

Medical updates:   The constipation has subsided considerably.  I was taking Colace almost every day, up to 4 pills every night.   As of 2 weeks ago, no longer need to take anything.  I think getting in some fresh fruits, vegetables, beans and yogurt have helped tremendously.   I am using fitday.com to track all of my eating and I really like that site.  It tells you how much protein, vitamins, fiber, carbs, etc. etc., that you are getting in and how much you are burning off.  So, I am no longer on protein drinks, as I seem to be getting more than the 60 grams per day in protein.  Still going to the gym (Main St. Rehab) 2-3 times per week.  I like it there, but the driving is getting to me.  After commuting to Hartford everyday, the last thing I want to do is drive 30 more minutes to get to the gym.  Considering some other options right now.  Last week, I came down with a urinary tract infection, which I am sure is due to not getting in enough fluids.  I stll struggle with that.  My PCP put me on antibiotics and I feel much better.  I worry that it might come back.  A friend at work told me that it's caused by too much sex!   Ha ha ha....don't think so!    While the quality has certainly gotten better, the quantity has not due to hubby's work schedule and us both being so tired at night.   Why do they call it the golden years?

Things I worry about:  I find that I am able to eat more and drink more in one gulp now.  That scares me.   And I am still giving myself large portions.   Why do I do that?   It sure is hard to break these old habits.   Not doing too badly sticking to the 30 minute rule.  Its portion control that I need to work on.  I don't want to stretch out my pouch and break the tool that I was given.  I pray for some more inner strength in dealing with that.   I noticed that my daily calorie intake has crept up from 800 calories per day to nearly 1,000.   Need to watch that.  And I get these empty feelings in my belly like I am hungry..  No tummy growling or anything like that, but more like an emptiness or dull ache -- that feeling that you get just before your stomach growls.  Hope I am not getting an ulcer.   Don't see how I can with taking Prilosec every day.   I have been noticing more than normal hair in tub drain past few days.  Arrrggggg...  here we go....  :(

Questions to ask surgeon/PA at visit next week:

Should I continue to take Prilosec everyday even though the box says to stop after 14 days?
Do I still need protein drinks?
Any tips on avoiding UTI?  (Besides drink more.)  Are the cranberry pills ok to take?
Do I still have to cut pills or is it ok to take them whole now?
Do vitamins still have to be chewable?
Thoughts on biotin? 

Next week, we're going on a family trip to Vermont for a few days.  Looking forward to skiing and relaxing and just spending time with the family - away from all the hustle and bustle.  Maybe this time, I'll be able to buckle my ski boots all by myself!   Stay tuned!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU ALL!

Happy New Year everyone!  And Happy Birthday to me.  I have now officially hit the big FIVE-O.  Yikes!  Inside, I feel like I'm in my twenties, but my body and my mirror tell me I'm an old lady.  Now that I've dropped a little weight (about 30 pounds so far), all those nasty wrinkles are starting to pop up.  And why the heck am I still getting pimples at my age?  My hormones must be acting up.  

Well, I am on pureed/soft foods for two more weeks and then on to regular food!  Yippee.   My 3-week follow-up with Dr. Choi went well.   We spoke about her appearance on TV the day before -- She was interviewed on channel 8 and did a great job providing a lot of information about bariatric surgery in a short period of time.   This is going to be gross, but might be helpful to some of you out there... I asked her why my bm's were so frequent, hard and large - the largest I've ever had in my life -- when all I'm ingesting is liquids.  Just didn't make sense to me.  She said that people mistakenly think that it's made from food product, but it's really not.  It's all made from bacteria that is produced in your intestinal tract as it digests the food.  So, I guess my body produces a lot of bacteria!   I've had to take milk of magnesia 3 times so far, but now I make sure to eat 2oz of pureed prunes everyday and that seems to have done the trick.  What a relief!  Some days I felt like I was delivering a baby!!   ha ha ha.   OK, enough of the gross stuff.

I am feeling absolutely great.  My energy level has improved, my snoring has cut down, and my clothes are all lose.  What a wonderful feeling.   I need to work on getting all of my fluids in every day.  I seem to alway be short about 4-8oz.  And now that the fluid requirement has increased, I need to focus on this even more.  Last night I scared myself because I found I was able to eat almost 8 oz. of chicken and hummus at one sitting.  I didn't feel full or sick at all.  I think maybe it was because I didn't wait the full 30 minutes after drinking some Crystal Lite.  Maybe it all just slid down into my digestive tract with the liquid that was still in there.  Again, I need to be more careful about this.  I don't want to stretch my pouch and I don't want to sabotage myself.  I need to remember to use the tool correctly or I won't get the right results.  Kind of like using a hammer... if you use it incorrectly, that nail will never get pounded into place, or worse, get bent or damaged.

I am lucky (I think) that I don't get nauseous and vomit after eating.  I hear a lot of people do.  I need to appreciate this fact and not abuse it.

I go back to work on Monday, Jan 8.  These past six weeks have flown by, but I am glad I was able to take the time to focus on getting used the changes and to build some good habits and drop the bad ones.   The true test will be when I start eating normal foods.  I hope I can continue on the right track.