It just dawned on me that this will be my last Christmas as a morbidly obese woman.  I just had to see that in writing. My appointments start on Monday and then within two weeks, I'll have a rearranged anatomy conducive to losing a lot of extra weight. I pray that I am doing the right thing. I haven't told my extended family about my decision to have gastric bypass because they were not supportive when I told them I was looking into it. Then again, none of them know what it's like to carry the weight of two full-grown people around on their ankles, try to fit into seats at the movie theater, or have to be let in through the stroller gate at the amusement park. None of them know humiliation like that.

I know I'm doing the right thing for my body. This is a risk I'm willing to take in order to get healthy.

Blessings,
PTSD Widow

It is a month before my surgery, so I decided to practice how I would be eating after surgery. I am happy to say, I declined a handful of m&m's this morning. I never decline m&m's! I guess they just didn't sound good. Then after church, we went to the church potluck, and most of the food did not look appetizing. I passed on that too! I didn't come home and eat a lot. Rather, I slept. I was exhausted from everything, I guess.

I believe I was having a fibromyalgia flare too. Everything ached! My legs are still aching, but aspercreme seems to have helped relieve the pains in my hands and my lower back for now. I was just tired on top of the pain. I'm anxious to be skinny enough to wear pretty clothes that don't look as if they were purchased from Omar the Tentmaker.

I hope this drastic change will be a positive thing for me. :) Passing on the food was a huge victory for me. But I will consider it a jewel, and when I collect enough little jewels I will buy myself some new earrings or something.

In September I scheduled a consult to learn more about weight loss surgery and to discuss my options. Today is December 12, and I have a date for my surgery already scheduled. I almost can't believe it!  In retrospect, it was all too easy. In this pre-op stage, I have been trying to eat less and drink more water. I can't say that it's done anything for my weight yet. In fact, it feels like I keep gaining weight.

I'm a little nervous about the surgery. It's a big deal to have your guts rearranged as tool to help you lose weight. It is. I'm sure as my surgery gets closer, my feelings will change from nervous to scared. I'll have to learn a whole new lifestyle. I'm hoping that my post-surgery lifestyle will inspire my husband as well.

Pray that this will work and I'll be healthier for it.