August 7th - REFLECTING....
posted on 8/7/08 9:13 am
Its so funny that we don't change as people, we try, and I guess there are people who succeed, but it sure is hard.... I have not reached goal, but I am close, have the last 30lbs to go, but why I'm writing is because my journey as inspired so many, that I now need it to INSPIRE me. With the great suggestion of someone I inspired, I have read through my whole journey from March of 2007, wow almost 2 years past... One thing I can say NOW.. It does fly..I noticed I wrote several times how long it seemed to be taking, well now it sure seems like it went fast.. When I started this journey I weighed in at 303lbs, my biggest EVER, I never even weighed that pregnant, close, but never went over the 300lb mark. At my year BANDIVERSARY I weighed in at I beleive 201lbs, so I had lost 100lbs in a year! What an accomplishment, but we do soon forget about what we've accomplished and start with the giving in factor again.. I guess when you hear people say "You have to change your life" you do, BUT HOW??? When we've lived this way for over 40 years. Right now I am back into eating the wrong foods, grant it I can only eat so much, THANK YOU BAND! I stop at the first sign of intergestions, and we're not suppose to wait for a sign and I never used to I did everything by PORTION SIZE, what happens.......My life is no different then yours, it has it's stresses, it's ups & downs, but overall I really good life and have done much more then the average Joe.........Food just seems to make me happy, not only when I'm down but on an average day, food just seems to bring joy. So my life now is so much better and happier without that extra 100lbs, I do so much and don't have that "I'm so fat Worry", though there are plenty of times I still look at myself as FAT, cause I am still, I'm not OBESE anymore, but I am still Fat or I'll be nice.. BIG. Ok, so I'm ranting on...My port, Yup I know EXACTLY where it is, I can feel it anytime or anywhere, but it doesn't bother me at all, its just that theres not 100lbs of fat between it anymore so you can feel it and also see it when I lay down, but nothing that bothers me, I'm not looking for a BIKINI body. I havne't had a fill in over a year, sometimes I'm thrilled with that and other times I worry cause it just doen't seem right?? But hey since all is well I'll just keep moving along, do I think a fill would help me start loosing again?? Good questions, but my answer might surprise you...NO... Cause I am already pretty limited to bite sizes and food choices, so I know its the calorie intake with my that keeping me from loosing. I call it ICE CREAM, goes right threw our bands, YUP a million people have said to me"Oh theres great frozen yogarts out there", I know this, its just a BAD CHOICE I make and THIS is where my problem lies............WHY......and this is where I wish Doc would invent a BRAIN BAND, cause its the WHY that I need my answer too...OK, what have I slacked on.........Food choices, portion sizes, big one here...EXCERCISE, so WALA...thats the answer to WHY I haven't been loosing or hit my goal yet, here it is right in front on me in BLACK & WHITE.......Just amazing! So I took this advise and read my journey and it felt great and TODAY I am MOTIVATED and I am going to try (oops shouldn't say that) and today I AM GOING TO get back on track and begin loggin here on a regular basis again... I hope this blog wasn't to BORING... I'm not that good of a speller or writer... THANK YOU "JEN" for telling me to reflect on my own personal journey, I needed it! If theres anything I left out about being a year into the BAND LIFE, I'm sorry, for each and everyone of us this journey will be SO VERY different! HERES TO MY NEW START....... 30lbs TO GO!
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