I have been thinking about having wls for some time, two yrs to be exact. 
After having a stroke in Nov. I decided it was time for me to take action. I was fresh out of nursing school and couldn't do my job. So...I scheduled myself to go to the seminar in Springfield, Mo. on Feb. 10th. I new that was what I had to do and I am sure I will not regret it. 

Feb 23

I wrote food a letter and told it we were through. I then asked God to guide and direct me through out this ordeal and the rest of my life. I know I can't do it alone. 

March 3

I finally got my appointment after bugging the office for some time! I have had a time with the paper work. It has been resubmitted twice. Now my appointment is April 3. 

April 3 

I had my appointment and was so depressed afterward. Dr. Fearing said I had to get cleared by my Neuro. before going on with the surgery. Thank God, they had a cancelation for tomorrow! I know it is another 2 hour trip, but I know it will be worth it. 

April 4 

I hand delivered my clearance letter. I wanted to make sure it got there quick!
They said that my paper work would be submitted to the insurance company soon. It just needed a signature by the doctor. Now... once again.... hurry up and wait.  

April 12

Well, I got my appointment to have my EGD done on May 18th. That seems so far away! I know that it will pass by in no time though. I just need God to help us physically, mentally and most of all, spiritually. Let our Faith not waiver, Lord.

April 14 

They have now called and said that my EGD would be done on the 22nd and to ignore the first one. It seems like things keep getting further and further away. 

April 16

I will be so glad when I find something out. I wonder if it is too early to contact MC about approval? HMMM... I guess it can never be to early. 

April 16

Well I called MC and they haven't even recieved my paperwork. They advised me to contact the office. I called the office and they said that it was mailed on the 13th! They told me on the 4th that the only thing they were waiting on was a signature from the doctor. What on earth would take that long for a doctor to sign the paperwork? URGH! This has made me really depressed. I forget what her name is, but she said that I should check with MC again on the 25th and then again on the 2nd, If they haven't recieved anything by then, to call her back. Hurry up and WAIT!!! I think my waiter is giving out! 
My scale shows me at 267 lbs now. At the first weigh-in I weighed 286 lbs. At the first of the year I was up to 292 lbs. 
Here goes the watch pot!

April 25th

Well I called Medicaid to find out where I am in this haul and they said..................
I"VE BEEN APPROVED! DANCE! DANCE, DANCE! MY FEET ARE DANCING!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!
I called the office and they said I had to wait until they called me. So-o-o... I am  a few steps closer as I sit back to hurry up and wait. 

April 27th 

Just got back home from being in the hospital! I had a TIA, which is a mini stroke of sorts. I had an upsetting event with two of my grown children, and I guess it shot my blood pressure up. I am back to feeling better though, I feel a little weak and shaky. I feel a little more forgetful (OH ME!) I think it will clear up though. I pray that God gives me a completer renewing of my mind and body. 

May 14th

I have a date! A surgery date that is! I am going to have my surgery on June 13th. I start my liquid protein diet on the 30th of May. I am praying for a quick time to go by. I think the two weeks before surgery will be my hardest as far as not eating anything. I can't wait. You know, I still get so much negativity from others, about this surgery. Well, I will not let it get me down. God, will be with me, and as long as he is okay with it I am okay with it. 

May 22

I went for my endoscopy. The doctor told my husband that I had a lot of inflammation in my esophogus. She also wants to recheck me for HP. I did not get to talk to her, but my appointment is the 29th. That will be my last appointment before surgery day! I hope the inflammation doesn't hender me having the surgery. 
When I was in there getting ready to have my scope the male nurse had me lay on my left side becuase they were getting ready to do my scope. Then, there was approx. 6 people standing around my bed, with the doctor standing behind me. They started asking me questions, and since I had the stroke, I get really nervous and can't think straight when I have several people talking to me at once. My stroke affected the right side of my body, and though you can't notice there is a deficit, there is. When I lay on my left side, it causes my left side to not be able to compensate for my right side as well, therefore I get slurred speech. SO-O-O... when they started quizing me and I answered, I sounded loopy, because I had slurred speech and I kept getting mixed up on what I wanted to say. I turned my head to see the doctor mouth to the male nurse asking if he had given me anything. He said he had just given me normal saline then he pointed to his head and did the little "all in her head" sign. When I go to the doctor I am going to have a talk with her about this, when I can sit up. 

May 26th

Well, only 2 more days before my 2nd doctors visit. I am excited! Only 18 more days until my surgery!!! I am definately on the count down! 

June 1st

Well, my doctors visit went well and I have started my two week liquid diet. It has been a little hard, but God has kept my mind focused the light at the end of the tunnel. It is now day 3 of the liquid stuff. I have been drinking my clear protein, drinking broth, eating jello, and lots of water. It amazes me how well the protein helps keep you from getting hungry. Unfortunately today, my stomach has just kept growling. Only 12 more days to go. 

June 2nd

Today is day 4 of my liquid protein diet. It was easier today than it was yersterday. I kept really busy today, so it went by quick. I have been very moody though. I have went through a whole array of emotions today; happy and laughing, sad and crying, angry and complaining, will this end? I don't know what has come over me! I pray that God takes these emotions and does away with them until the appropriate times. Could be the food withdrawal, ya think? Any way 11 more days to surgery! Today is my grandson, Chase's, Birthday! Happy Birthday Chase! I love you! He is my oldest grandson and he is handsome. He is turning 13.

June 3rd

Day 5 down. I am so glad. I was really hungry today. I never noticed how much people talk about food until I went on this liquid diet! I have been craving a Krey balogna sandwich with a lettuce salad. Salad isn't even my favorite! I noticed when I watch TV, I look at food and say, "OH MY GOSH! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH FAT IS IN THERE! Hopefully I will keep thinking this way. 10 more days until Surgery Day!

June 13th

Surgery day has arrived! I am so Excited yet nervous! I know God is with me and all will be well. The hospital scales shows me at 261 lbs.

June 14th

As expected, I new I would think, "What have I done ? What was I thinking? I hurt so bad! I didn't realize I would be in this much pain. I thought it would be easier than my radical hysterectomy. Boy, how wrong I was!" These are some of the thoughts I had going through my mind right after surgery. Would I do it again? Yes, I would. I know it will all be worth it in the end. My health means more to me than the temporary pain I have to endure for my health. 

June 17th

Well the pain is getting better. I have sharp pains in my left side to mid lower abdomen. I also have pain in my kidney areas. I really hope this passes.

June 18th

 This pain keeps getting worse and worse, It is almost unbearable at times, especially when I bend over, or reach down to pick something up. I will discuss this with Dr. Fearing at my one week follow up visit tomorrow. 

June 19th

I am down to 255 lbs. Dr. Fearing said the pain was normal. She said that there are deep sutures that she placed (which gives the indentions) and those are the areas where the pain seem to originate and shoots through to my back. This helps with stabilization of the organs in place. These stitches will eventually desolve and the pain will go away. 

June 21st 

Today  I woke up with the sharp pain in my stomach, accompanied by the pain in my back. By eve., I noticed I didn't have the pain any more. I could bend over without difficulty, and my movement was back to normal. What a relief! I feel so much better!
I am having so much trouble getting my alloted amount of fluids in. I try, and I try but, before the day is out I notice that I still have not gotten all my fluids in. I carry my jug with me and  I feel like I am drinking all the time! It is making me nauseated. I am even having problems with my protein. It is making me sick too. I put a note on the board, everyone said, "Keep drinking!" My problem is the nausea. I called the dietician today and asked her if I could possibly go on to the next stage. If I see another can of broth, I am going to PUKE AND I AM NOT KIDDING! She told me to give it one more day, and she would okay my going on to the next stage.

June 22nd

I don't know what is going on with me. I am getting more nauseated. I am trying my hardest to get my fluids in. I will keep trying. I am starting to get a little light headed. I am afraid I am headed for dehydration.  This nausea is killing me. 

June 25th

I woke up so nauseated and dizzy. I am so weak too. I am putting a call into the Doctor's office. Got a call back. I have to go ot the ER.

July 3rd

I have been in the hospital with severe dehydration. I had to be rehydrated. I didn't think the nausea would ever subside! Every time I would take a bite or two, I would become so sick. I am just now getting to where I can drink more now. I am doing good getting my fluids in. I am eating good too.

July 11th

Yesterday, I went for my 3 week check up. I have lost 14 lbs. since my 1 week check up. Total loss (counting all time high wt.) is 55 lbs. I am excited! Feeling better! I am having some problems with food not agreeing with me, then UP IT COMES! Not good. Eggs, potatoes. Dr. Fearing said that I probably will be able to eat them again in the future. She said that sometimes people adjust other times they can't ever tolerate that food again. She said that some people who never ate fish, now eats fish all the time, while people who love beef, 50% are not able to eat it again.  Hope I am not one of them.

18 July 2007

Well, I think I finally found out what is making me so sick; milk. I was staying so nauseated when drinking it. Unfortunately, since it was one of the first things I had in the morning it would make me sick all day, and I didn't realize it was the culprit! I am doing better now with food. I always remember I have to take my time! 

Aug 3rd

Wt. today 229 lbs. total of 63 lbs lost. 

Aug 16th

Wt. today 223 lbs. total of 69 lbs lost!

Aug 27th

I have only lost 4 lbs. since the 16th. I have been moving and I have not gotten into a routine. I have not been able to get my protein and water in like I should. 

Oct. 4, 2007

Today I weighed in at 210.8 lbs. !!!!! I had not lost anything in about a month, so I put a post out to the girls who had surgery around the same time that I did, and those that experienced this before replied. They said that their doctors or dieticians told them they were not eating enough! They were in starvation mode. So, I thought I would try increasing my intake, and sure enough I started losing!!!! Thank You GOD!!!! I am now 18 lbs away from my 100 lb. mark!!!!
I could not do this without GOD's hand in this. I give Him all the glory, honor, and praise!!! 

Dec. 29, 2007

Well, I have not posted since October because I have been a busy little bee! I have been in the hospital 3 times and I have had surgery twice! The first surgery was to remove my galbladder (unplanned), and a week later I had a tumor removed from my neck (planned). The third time I was in the hospital, was for, would you believe, galbladder pain! I got all straightened out though and I am doing well. The great news that has nothing to do with that is, I HAVE LOST 100 LBS AS OF TODAY! I am so excited that I could shout! Hallelujah! Praise GOD and GLORY! Whew! that felt good! My weight is now 192lbs. !!!!

April 14, 2008

I have not posted in a long time. I have been suffering from depression since my stroke. I have been depressed in the past but never like this. I have memory loss since the stroke and I know I can not work again. I am a nurse and a paramedic, so not being able to recall the first part of a sentence by the time you get to the last part, is awful. I have to do a lot of re-reading, then re-read again. I miss my proffesion. I feel like I have lost my identity. I just don't want to go anywhere anymore. I want to stay home. I don't like talking to people face to face. I am afraid people are staring at me and I detest going anywhere! I feel like my husband thinks I can't do anything and that I don't know nothing. I know he is trying to follow behind me to make sure I don't do something like, burn the apt. building down. But, I feel like I am treated like a child, and I am not. I want to be back at my highest mental capacity. It takes me so long to do anything, anymore because of my thinking abilities. I use to be able to type out things really well without error. Now I am constantly going back to look at it to see waht I am doing. I feel it is never ending. GOD I need your help!!!!! I thought after weight loss surgery I would feel better about myself, but really, I am not. It is not how you look on the outside that really makes you feel better, it is the inside. 

weight: 179lbs.