Today I feel better physically and emotionally than I have since I was 25 years old . My weight has continued to decline slowly since my one year WLS anniversary a few months ago. I have dropped 10 lbs over the last 2-1/2 months without trying to do so. My diet and calorie intake have remained relatively constant for the past 7 or 8 months and I have been exercising a lot , mostly walking and bike riding. It would be fair to say that I am exercising more and more as a way of dealing with stress rather than eating myself into oblivion. This has been a particularly stressful year with the protracted illness and passing of my mother-in-law, the death of my dear old dog, increased conflict at work, and constant worry about friends who are sick or troubled. Yet it is the stress I have imposed on myself that I am struggling to manage. I have come to accept that I am a different sort of guy than most and, as such, I have more emotional needs than some would deem seemly in a man. If I am to thrive as a thinner person, I know that I have to find a way for more of those needs to be met or I will risk falling again into despair and my old eating habits. The internal stress comes from recognizing the need for change for the sake of my own emotional well-being while also seeing that making those substantive changes in my life will likely diminish the lives of those I hold dear. At present I am looking at interim solutions and incremental changes in my day to day life that I hope will one day give way to more dramatic changes. I am convinced that somewhere along the way a more comfortable balance will be reached. For now I am actually healthy and feeling hopeful about my future.
In the past month I have gone to two WLS seminars to answer questions from prospective WLS candidates about my experiences. Those have been very positive experiences, albeit with a couple of unexpected moments......my surgeon wanted to show people my laproscopic RNY scars and one woman wanted a closer look......like from less than a foot away. After that particular seminar, another woman wanted to feel the loose skin around my middle. I didn't scuttle away in embarassment in either case and for a guy who couldn't stand to even look at himself in the mirror two years ago, I must say that I handled myself pretty well. I plan to continue going to those seminars as a way of giving back because so much has been given to me on this journey. It is a journey I would gladly take again...only sooner.