Well, first thing my husband is completely computer illiterate. So he knows nothing about computers and internet and I do mean nothing. I guess someone told him that I had a picture on the internet and he threw a fit yesterday. He just dont get it. I have this profile and a myspace profile. So I dont know which one they seen. I think this one. as they probable committed on my weight loss. Anyway he doesnt want me on the computer and since he pays the bills is having the internet disconnected. I dont know how much time I have, I can wing it for a while but  he will enventually probable have it disconnected. I have never hid the fact that I was on the computer, he just didnt understand it And doesnt want anything to do with the computer. So I never told him much. He just dont get it. And probable doesnt want to. but I guess I wont be around much as I cant take the argueing and the silent treatment about it.  I tried to tell him it was like him going uptown after coffee. Just a socializeing thing. but I cant keep fighting with him about it. And trying to explain it is a fight. well got to go The bad part is that I feel so embarrassed that he is doing this stuff to me and I let him. ten years ago I would have told this man to drop dead if he didnt like it. I dont understand the hold he has on me. As I have no where to go and no one to help. My family all think he is the greatest.  I just dont see a way out.  love marie

Christmas was okay. They only thing wrong was I cooked a big meal and my kids ran off to other places and I still have tons of food. I put part of it in the freezer. I think I will make a homemade pot pie mix with the turkey I didnt put in the freezer today. I dont put it in a shell for two reasons. first I dont eat the shell, and my husband says he doesnt like pot pie. But if I tell him it is a cassorole he loves it. Silly man. What he dont know wont hurt him. lol.  I gained four pds over the holidays, so I am on a lizuid diet today and as long as I can stand it. And back to exercising. I am almost a year out and havent even hit 100 pd lost yet. I have to get harder on myself or something.  I got lots for christmas, seems funny you know when I was single and struggling, raising my kids by myself, no one would buy me nothing, nor my kids as I couldnt afford to buy for anyone else. Now they all compete to see who can buy for me or something.  Be thankful I know. Anyway, I got a double set of corelle dishes. First time I have had a complete set of matching dishes. Pair of jeans, size 18 Yahoo!!!!  pajamins, size large. a new purse, I really like it. real leather and not to big but not to small just the right size. some  new make up, and some candles. two sets of thermal undies, the fancy kind for women, I couldnt get in them before. new walking shoes. A nice picture in a gold frame (Large) for my living room with a  large mirror in a gold frame to match. And two really ugly homemade wall hangings that I am going to have to hang somewhere so I dont hurt that persons feelings. It is the thought. I think I might put them on the front porch. They have birds on them, I havent tackle decorated that room in a style yet. So maybe if I go with birdshouses in there I can do something with the wall hangings. well sorry so long. Love marie

It is almost six o'clock in the morning and I cant sleep. I dont think I have lost anything for over two weeks. I thought I had but then the scales came back up. I think the scales have stopped. Or so it seems. I went shopping with the kids Saturday. I got into a size 18 jeans. I bought one pair. I thought I was about Sasha's size but she got into a 14. But that is okay at least my daughter isnt as heavey as I am. She said she had lost like twenty pds. So maybe I am influenzing her somehow. My son is wearing a forty. So he has come down from a 44. I am proud of them both. Although Travis is my problem child. Bob and I have not faught for a while. I am surprised. We seem to be getting along fairly well. So far. I think the couseling is probable helping, but I may end up in divorce court.  It is funny cause I just told Bob that I had started counceling and he seemed upset about it. I told my coucelor and she said what do you think he is afr4aid of. And I said that if we quit argueing we wont communicate at all and then we have no reason to be together. Interesting thought. I feel as if my life is at a standstill. Also, I have been having a burning in my gut. I probable need to call the surgeon. We will see. It may just be muscles adjusting.