January 11, 2007

We have a Valentine’s dinner coming up soon.  I am going to try and find a nice, sexy dress for the occasion.  I really want to look HOT.  I want my hubby’s eyes to pop out when he sees me.  I will have to wear serious girdles but I think that I can pull off a sexy little black dress.  I hope I can find one.  That won’t be easy but I am gonna give it a shot. 

I have to say something here; that I will only admit to here on my site.  I am stuffing my bra!  It’s really sad.  I have nothing to fill a bra with but the next size smaller cup won’t hold all of my loose, sagging skin.  So I have to wear a D cup that I can only fill half way.  The “stuffing” keeps me from falling out of the bottom and keeps the cup from collapsing.  I am going to look for those inserts this weekend.  Maybe that’ll help some.  I won’t even change out in the open at the gym because I don’t want others to see the sad shape my boobs are in.  I really hope that we can pull off plastic surgery this year.  I want my boobs and my thighs done so desperately!  I would even trade getting a tummy tuck if they would do my thighs.  I just want some inches shaved off of the hips that I know exercise alone won’t get.  I am going to make an appointment to see the plastic surgeon in March to see what he has to say. 

 
I see the nutritionist on the 17^th and the exercise therapist on the 22^nd.  Should be really good appointments.

January 11, 2007 

Well, I made it through the Christmas & New Year’s holidays without a lot of baggage.  I actually managed to lose a few lbs, albeit only about 3 but it’s a heck of a lot better than gaining!  I ate a lot more stuff than I should have.  I have had fudge, cookies, cake, candy, sausage balls, popcorn – all stuff that I shouldn’t have because it will make me ill and it causes me to just want more.  But I ate it anyway.  Part of me feels like I have to learn to be able to have these things in moderation.  And I think I am learning that.  I can have a little bit or a tiny piece…I don’t have to eat the entire thing to be satisfied.  It’s a lesson I will learn daily for a long time to come but I continue to learn it.  And I know that I need to be able to say no when I should.  I also know that I CAN say no!  It is possible to do and I don’t feel sorry for myself when I do say no. 

I said yes way too often this Christmas but when I think back on my past, I never said no to myself and I always gained at least 10 lbs every holiday season.  This time I LOST weight.  That’s pretty darn good.  I know that I could have done better…but I could also have done much worse.  So over all I think it was a good eating and exercising time for me.  I think that being aware of what I am eating and the choices I am making really helps me to be consistent with my eating.  I have always been a mindless eater.  I would eat things and not even remember that I ate them.  Now I know every bite I put in my mouth and I am getting better and writing it all down.  I use fitday.com to keep track.  It can be frustrating to put stuff on the site.  They don’t have a lot of foods listed, especially namebrand foods.  But I can create my own list, which I have done little by little.  I am trying to keep a good record for the next week to take to my nutritionist.  

I am in an outfit today that makes me feel skinny.  I’m in navy blue slacks and a teal sweater.  I think that I look really good in this outfit.  I even like the pictures that I took.  I don’t usually like how my hips look in pictures but in this outfit I must say, I look good.