To Robin--Hello
fellow Marylander.
Hope you are feeling
better now that
you've had the
surgery. It will
get better I
promise. And no,
this is not the easy
way out. No one
knows what your
journey is about
except you!
Congrats for making
the decision to be
healthy.
Cynthia in
Mechanicsville MD
360 - Oct 18th
275 - Mar 13th
Robin~
Congrats on making
the best decision of
your life. I am
praying that you
will have an
uneventful surgery
and a speedy
recovery. I pray
that you will come
out of the hospital
with a praise on
your lips. As they
are wheeling you
into the O.R. don't
feel alone, Jesus is
there protecting you
and guiding the
surgeon's hands.
Dawn
Getting our mind caught up to our bodies! It truly does take awhile for our head to catch up to our body. About a month or so ago my daughter brought me a picture that I had taken about 3 years ago. I had a real "lightbulb" moment when I looked at that picture. I realized for the first time that other people do NOT see that girl when they see me now. Even after losing 100+ lbs, I still felt as if people were seeing me at 275 lbs. Where ever I went I thought that others still saw the old me, even though I see the new me whenever I look in the mirror. It's almost as if I walk away from the mirror and forget what I look like now. I would be in the stores shopping in the misses section and see someone looking at me and think that they must be wondering why I am shopping here because this fat woman can not fit into these clothes. Then when I looked at that old picture, I realized that, NO people do not see the fat woman shopping in the misses section. They see me, 106 lbs lighter, someone who belongs in the misses section! It's kinda weird. I still have to remind myself that others are not seeing me at 275. I don't know if I will ever be free from that, hopefully in time as I learn to live with my new self, I will stop thinking that others see the old me. And in time hopefully I will stop forgetting what I look like when I turn away from the mirror.
I hope that I become familiar with who I am now and more comfortable in my own skin. I know that will only help to boost my self esteem and keep me motivated to keep the new me around and never let the old me come back.
Most of my friends, who are not overweight nor have they experienced something like this, do not understand that I don't think in my mind that everyone sees me as I am now. They don't get it. That's okay because I don't get it either. Although I am starting to get it. I think that I just need time to get to know the new me. Become familiar with me. As I spend more time in my new body, the old body will fade into a distant memory. I hope anyway.
2 Comment(s)
Comment by Emmorph on Aug 22, 2007 at 06:30pm
I just had to laugh when I read the part about being in the store with someone looking at you and thinking that they must be wondering what a fat woman is doing there.
I have caught myself thinking that so many times! It is weird, they don't know what we did look like. Sometimes I feel like this new body is covering up the old fat one- and that they can somehow see through it! S I guess I don't get it either. : )
Good luck with the new post LBL body! Enjoy.
Em
Comment by jannineh99 on Oct 14, 2007 at 05:07pm
Robin...just wanted to say..I know how you feel...sorry it took me so long to read this...it is a weird thing the head thinks one way and sort of gets stuck there...you spelled it out quite correctly..that is exactly how I feel....and btw...darling you look marvolus.....the pictures from after your LBL I am going in on the 19th with my surgeon for my initial consult for my PS wish me luck that my insurance will cover it.....
I have caught myself thinking that so many times! It is weird, they don't know what we did look like. Sometimes I feel like this new body is covering up the old fat one- and that they can somehow see through it! S I guess I don't get it either. : )
Good luck with the new post LBL body! Enjoy.
Em